Hi!
I just want to tell you a little bit about my life here and how I encountered the war in Ukraine.
I just don't have anywhere to share it with, no one to tell, and I'm tired of keeping it to myself.
I've been living in Ukraine since birth, it's my home country, I grew up here.
All my life I was happy to have a family like my parents: I thought everything was fine, everyone listens to me and they are good parents.
This was before graduation from high school and before going to university. Then, I began to realize that I was doing it wrong... I never fought for my ideas, for my dreams, I was a puppet.
For all my 18 years, I only listened to my mother's advice and never made my own choices. I thought my thoughts were wrong.
I ended up going to university in a field of study I didn't want, and I studied there for a year. I dropped out of university. I ran away from my parents. I ran away to live with my boyfriend. He's a great man, he supports me, he's the only light in my life.
I haven't seen my parents for a year and I'm afraid to talk to them on the phone. I will get scared.
It seems like everything is OK? No.
I live here with my boyfriend's parents, who also have a very heavy character. They bully me and the boyfriend for nothing, just for nothing. Every time you accidentally go wrong, make an accidental rustle or can't help with anything because of pain or stress it's yelling, bullying, getting kicked out of the house. It hurts like hell. I'm not used to that. But I don't live with myself, I have to put up with it and put up with it. Against the backdrop of this bullying, I have developed serious psychological illnesses: depression, hyper-anxiety, bipolar, suicidal tendencies.
Let's move on to war:
The war came on February 24. On the morning of that day, a bomb landed in the city where I am now. It was scary, but it wasn't too loud, so it wasn't too emotional. Then the war started, and I was quiet, but scared. Every day there were sirens, bullying, my parents bullying me, that I was a horrible daughter runaway. I put up with it.
Added to that another fact, my boyfriend's mother is a praying Putin. She loves him, and really believes he is liberating, living in Ukraine at this time. And she thinks it's the Ukrainians who are bombing. Propaganda works here too, it's fucked up.
Now she bullshits me for supporting Ukraine.
She wants to kick us out. In the middle of a war.
I don't have enough to live on (I only have enough for food at best (I feed myself too)).
I will not go back home to my parents, I'd rather die on the street.
That is all. Thank you if you read it all! I am a little relieved that I shared it somewhere!