I Needed to write this jornal entry because it affects my life even more. So because of what happened during one of my friend's Twitch Streams, I lost 2 friends and am no longer able to be a part of the stream's chat, or even message one former friend I really enjoyed talking to. In addition to that, my parents blocked access to both Twitter and Twitch and have no empathy for me losing friends. I tried hard to ask my friends for forgiveness before the situation got worse, but it did. Even going to the point where I try a last stitch effort to save my friend, and it backfired majorly. So I probably won't be able to be on Twitter, or even Twitch, ever again. I am miserable and very depressed to the point where many suicidal thoughts are hovering over me. Losing Friends over 1 mistake that happened recently broke my heart, and I will never learn to live it down. I Really need as much help as I can get, and if only they understood my mental illnesses and disabilities in real life, then they would know that I can easily be emotional, and affects me in a negative way once I lose friends I known for almost 2 or more years. I honestly don't know what to do, and may just leave forever because of the bad events happening along with many sites I used to access not working anymore. This is one of the most stressful moments in my entire life, and it would be better if my former friends forgave me and gave me one more chance, along with being friends with me again. Other than that, I do not think anything will help make my life better. So this could be goodbye, possibly forever...

I'll miss you all very much if I don't return. And to those I made mistakes, I'm sorry and I hope you forgive me someday...