Yes, things do change in life and many times it seems like the changes we see leave us worse off than before. I had to make a hard decision. I had to tell someone who loved me, and whom I loved, that we couldnt be together anymore because I was distracted. Thats what I said to him, its all I could think to say with my mind and heart on the verge of a breakdown. The truth is that I have a direction that I must go and for me to let someone desperately cling to an idea of me returning when I may not is cruel and unfair. I have alot left to do in my life and many choices and changes that have yet to be made. I regret what I did, and probably will for a long time. But ya wanna know something that wont change...

-The love and care I have for that person
-The respect I have for that person
-And lastly, my heart.

Going to the navy and coming back sounds simple and easy enough, but there is something I believe that compells me and tells me that my future regardless of the navy, will be a hard one. I cannot even begin to hope that if I explained my belief to you all that you would believe me, but then I dont really need you too. Im walking down a road, and I know that the only way to reach the end is to walk it alone because its road made for me. We all have our roads, and for some they end together. But mine Im afraid is not one of those. I made a terrible mistake and now I must live with it, the mistake being that I crushed the heart of someone who loved me. My heart aches and screams out for me to beg for him to take me back, but I have become a victim of my own crime. For those of you who cared to read this far, I dont want your sympathy because I dont deserve it and it wont change what Ive done...I just wanted to explain myself and hope that he will forgive me.