Apparently, I just need to speak out and not keep what's accumulating in myself.

I'm sad, I'm scared. My father calls me "mentally ill" because one day I decided to express my opinion to them. He turns the whole family against me and then shouts that it's me breaking up the relationship. Warns that the relationship needs to be preserved and destroys them himself.
My father will successfully turn me into an enemy in the eyes of my family. He doesn't like that I have my own "independent opinion" and this is a quote.

I feel sick.

I feel very lonely and locked up. I am terribly afraid of what is happening in Ukraine, what is happening to my friends.
I'm scared that I'm involved in this too, just because I live here. I accepted it, but I'm still terrified of how easily the choice was made for me.
We agreed to leave together when this nightmare is over. Now I need to earn money and, apparently, drop out of university here in Russia. I like studying there, but I'm afraid that if I decide to stay until graduation now, then I won't be able to leave later and forever :").

I'm afraid I won't be able to earn enough money.
I'm afraid that they won't let me out of the country, and if they do, I won't be needed anywhere.
It feels like I don't have a place in this world.

I only have me and a couple of my friends. The thought of it scares and pleases at the same time.
I will be free, but I will never be cured of how I got this freedom.

Fais ce que dois, advienne, que pourra.
Thank you if you have read everything.
I had to shout into the void to have the strength to take a step forward.