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Who I really am...
3 years ago
General
Wanting to be more honest and open with who I am, I know before I have either alluded to or outright said I am a bio-female but this isn't true. I am a male, though I don't want to be; but I am not currently going through transition either.
Rhea was made as an escape, to live a life I wish I had, to be a person I wish I was. For almost 8 years I kept people at arm's length but then I made a guild in WoW in 2020, I made connections, actual friendships. I got close to people but I kept lying about a part of me.
I had been thinking of coming out, telling everyone who I was but I was too scared to do so. It wasn't until I hurt someone and hurt myself that I realized just how in the wrong I was and that I needed to finally be honest.
I am sorry if I have hurt anyone, I really am. I didn't mean for some things to spiral out so far. One of my core tenants is to never hurt anyone.
I hope you can forgive me and accept me as I am now. Outside of my actual gender though, the stories of my life, family, living situation ect, all of that was true. I was just too afraid to open up about that one part of myself out of fear of being treated differently. Probably a dumb fear in one of the most open and accepting fandoms out there but a fear nonetheless.
Rhea was made as an escape, to live a life I wish I had, to be a person I wish I was. For almost 8 years I kept people at arm's length but then I made a guild in WoW in 2020, I made connections, actual friendships. I got close to people but I kept lying about a part of me.
I had been thinking of coming out, telling everyone who I was but I was too scared to do so. It wasn't until I hurt someone and hurt myself that I realized just how in the wrong I was and that I needed to finally be honest.
I am sorry if I have hurt anyone, I really am. I didn't mean for some things to spiral out so far. One of my core tenants is to never hurt anyone.
I hope you can forgive me and accept me as I am now. Outside of my actual gender though, the stories of my life, family, living situation ect, all of that was true. I was just too afraid to open up about that one part of myself out of fear of being treated differently. Probably a dumb fear in one of the most open and accepting fandoms out there but a fear nonetheless.
MMORPG = Many Men Online Role Playing Girls.
Don't worry about it! Also yes, I've played female OCs myself as a bit of an escape. It's a fantasy world and explore other sides of yourself that you can't in real life.
I definitely am not hurt and still adore your cute self, and would love to chat and get to know you more sometime. :3
Side note, since you mentioned WoW. I'm thinking about coming back with the announcement of Wrath Classic (major nostalgia there) and probably play my Worgen and Vulpera too! If you happen to be on NA servers, I'd love to hang out with you sometime! <3
Rhea may be part of who you are, not an escape or a wish fulfillment. The art and experiences you have had are valid.
And honestly, the fear is very understandable - there are lots of pockets of this fandom that are not accepting of such ideas at all. There are strong social judgments still tied to gender identities, and it's a mess to sift through them and try to discard them. But you are not alone, and you have friends who support you.
This foxo is the main part of me now but I do have to be honest with others about the other parts of me too, even more so with more personal connections.
Its something I should have done a long time ago. But, all I can do now is be better moving forward