Hey there, thought I would post some random feelings here to just get them out. I know no one reads these?? And if you do I'm sorry lmao


So I have a job, right? I like working, I enjoy having something to do everyday. I also have severe depression and anxiety. And the two like to clash together a lot.

Capitalism is a problem and I understand that whole hearty but I got bills to pay, yea? And I like having nice-ish things? Clavuc need money.


I like the job. But I hate my coworkers. I hate the customers. And it makes me want to put the bare fucking minimum into my work just like said coworkers. I can not though, because I'm the manger. And I get embarrassed when work isn't done properly or timely. So I struggle with keeping up a lot of days and it's so frustrating.

I get mad and cry a lot. Because I'm juggling everyone's work including mine, but yea fuck mangers who cares about them right? Cuz that's really the only answer I get when I ask for help.


I bring my concerns and problems up with my store director, my distract department manger and get told you're having a mental breakdown (which I am) and begged not to quit. But 60 hours a week, and one day off every two weeks is hard.

Btw, I went to a couple job interviews because I want to quit but I'm fat, right? I've been told twice that they believed I wouldn't be able to keep up with the work environment. Lmao, I only cried a little.

I'm slowly losing my mind. I've developed an eating disorder and I'm idolizing suicide again for the first time in 4 years. I don't know what else to do other than to just shut down and give myself completely to this job that doesn't care for me because it's been made painfully clear that it's the only one I can get.

At least my dogs like me.