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Pride and Lust - Two Deadly Sins Afflicting the Furry Fan...
3 years ago
Welcome back to my blog brothers and sisters. I appreciate and want to thank you all that you are still following along with me. As you may have already seen - I wanted my first major entry to be on a subject that wouldn't necessarily ruffle anyone's feathers. As someone who has been in the furry fandom since somewhere around early 2001 and who has attended a number of conventions and spent many years online interacting with other furries, I am hopeful that this gives me adequate certification to speak in this area.
I am putting a warning here at the beginning of this entry because it is not my wish to offend or upset anyone. As a good Christian is supposed to see everyone as a brother or sister of theirs - my sincere hope is that there are others who may be in a situation that was similar to mine and that they will be able to learn from my self-perceived mistakes and to make whatever choices they feel inclined to make to improve their life. We currently live in such times that it is not unusual for threats to be made against others, or attempts made to cancel or censor someone if their beliefs differ from other people.
This entry is going to discuss a number of topics within the culture of furries. The first is that of the sin of lust. I will be examining this problem that we as furries have within furry, and how becoming a Christian has helped me to turn away from and resist these temptations, the positive benefits in doing so, and how I believe that you, the reader have the strength and willpower to say no to the sin of lust as well once you find your inner strength when following on a path as a servant of Jesus Christ.
The other topic will involve the sin of pride. Considered in Christian discussion to be the deadliest sin - as all other sins essentially are emanations in some form or fashion from the sin of pride. It is pride that makes us boastful. It is pride that makes us arrogant. It is pride that makes us self-centered. It is pride that we have to thank whenever we read the views or opinions of someone else and take offense, believing that we know better than they do - and who are they to tell us different? That is pride, and the best, most effective way to combat it is with the virtue of humility. One of the ways I will be talking about the sin of pride within furry is the way furry fandom is very open and accepting over certain lifestyles (LGBT) that in Christian belief is sinful and will separate you from God.
Before I upset anyone here. Let me also state that I feel I have some credentials to have a discussion about this topic. Not only have I been within the furry fandom for roughly 20+ years - but I have also identified as transgender while within it as well. Since roughly the early 2000's - probably around 2002-03 I have identified as male to female transgender. Now, keep in mind that I accepted Christ into my life only around 2017 or so. This means I've been a Christian for roughly 5 years give or take as of writing this entry. This means that for roughly around 13-15 years of my life I identified as transgender. That is a significant amount of time - and I hope a long enough amount of time that I will not get hit with the "No True Scotsman" straw-man that if one ever gives up or goes back on being transgender, that they were never *really* transgender in the first place. I don't feel it is fair to do this kind of hand-waving away of a person who lived a significant amount of life this way just because their current beliefs have changed. To use this argument is to essentially say that you are never allowed to leave the transgender movement if you want to be considered genuine. I mean, isn't this basically what juvenile gangs do? The whole "Once you're in, you're in for life." thing? It seems too easy of a tactic to try to dismiss the inconvenient truth of individuals like myself who - in finding faith in Jesus Christ were able to accept themselves for who they are and how God made them. With that said - I will do my absolute best to talk about my experiences as a transgender individual while I identified as such (2002-20016 est.), and my experiences as a Christian where I no longer identify as transgender in a way that is respectful to all sides. I'm not here to condemn people for how they wish to live their lives. I am here to explain how I lived my life, and how nothing seemed to give me true happiness and strength until I gave my life to the LORD and Jesus Christ and to start living for them and not just myself. If anything that I say resonates with you - wonderful! I hope I can help you to find your inner strength to do the research and explore this subject to see if you find truth in what I am telling you. If it doesn't resonate with you, well.. I appreciate that you find my entry interesting enough to read anyways. Thank you.
On the sin of lust - I believe that the majority of furries would agree with me that the furry fandom is known for being loose in the area of adult situations. There is a healthy hook-up culture within furry where some individuals seem very happy to engage in one-night stands, either online or offline, furry conventions offering us a very easy way to engage in these lustful encounters. In going back through my history within the furry community, I can say that even in the early 2000's that there were furry themed adult areas online if you knew where to look. Even before that time, one could go to what was known then as newsgroups using a newsgroup reader. Newsgroups were sort of like categorized forums based on various topics. There were quite a number of them - and if you had dial-up or internet service you could usually access these forums with the proper program. A popular free one I used way back in the day was called 'Free Agent'.
So there were plenty of newsgroups with innocent enough topics. But there were also quite a number of newsgroups that involve the sin of lust. I'm talking pornographic material, here. For many of us who were raised by or spent much of our life on the internet - this may have been where you first started to find you could have easy access to adult material. Whether still pictures that came in GIF or JPG format, or videos - one could flag content to be downloaded and then viewed. There were also furry themed newsgroups - and I honestly can't really remember how 'dirty' or adult these were at the time. My sin of lust at the time usually involved other non-furry related newsgroups - but I do recall that there were furry themed newsgroups. I would like to say at this early time in furry history there may not have been too heavy a lust problem - but perhaps some other brave soul who was also around at the time can fill the reader in here better than I can.
I'm not entirely sure I can recall when the switch was made from a dial up way of connecting online to permanent access via cable/DSL modems. I do know around this time that if you had the right connections - you could get into furry mailing lists that were adult themed. Still, at this time you had to work at it a bit to get access to the darker underbelly of furry, have someone vouch for you that you wouldn't expose members of the mailing list given the content that was being posted there. It was not easy, but it could be done if you wanted it bad enough.
Then there was Furnation.
Furnation banner ad.
Anyone remember Furnation? If my memory recalls correctly, it was like a sort of early version of a furry social network. It was used primarily(?) by furry artists, though if I remember well I don't believe it used the same template for every individual. I think it was more of a hosting space and people made their page to look how they wished. This was around the time of WYSIWYG editors. There were some artists that were posting art of an adult nature at this time - but probably still a decent amount that were posting SFW art. After that it kind of seems like a blur. There was DeviantArt and Furaffinity, which is still widely used by furries today. FA allows users to post art content, journals or blogs, request or fulfill commission work. It's well liked by a lot of people - though I would highly advise keeping the included filters turned ON to screen adult content. The site is built in a way that the most recent 27 or so art entries that get posted show up on the 'frontpage' - so people can see the most recent art that has been posted at any given time. By clicking on the art piece you can find out the artist who created it and look over their Furaffinity profile, which will tell you information about them. Unfortunately there is a lot of adult art that gets posted to FA at any given time - much of it considered to be 'fetish' territory. A fetish basically has to do with a specific behavior or interest that a person enjoys in a sexual way. As someone whose former sin was lust and adult roleplay/art within the furry community - I can tell you there are lots of fetishes out there. Though, fetishes aren't just something that can be found in furry - it's basically something that goes along with the sin of lust. If you are a particularly lustful person, there is a good chance you will at some time, sooner or later - develop an interest in fetishes. I would highly advise keeping the 'screen adult content' filter turned on if you make an account on FA - otherwise you will get hit with a lot of sexual content - and we are warned as Christians by our savior Jesus Christ that even looking at someone with lust in our hearts is essentially committing adultery with that person. Yeah, I realize these are fantasy art pieces and these characters technically don't exist - but lust is lust, you know? If you are looking at adult material with the desire to get turned on - you are essentially giving in to the sin of lust. There are consequences to this behavior. You lose your innocence. The LORD wishes us to maintain our innocence and purity. Sex and the miracle of creation that it allows for is something that has been entrusted to us for when we find that special someone and commit to them in marriage. If instead you spend days, months, years of your life looking at adult art and pleasing yourself in that manner - why would you ever feel as much commitment to take care of yourself in such a way to hopefully find that special someone? Also, having a lusty personality means that you are much more likely to initially fantasize or view others in the real world with a lustful mind as well. If you instead avert your eyes and stay away from adult art/porn online to try and maintain your innocence and purity - then you are not going to be likely to fantasize and have lustful thoughts enter your mind the moment you see someone who you feel attracted to. Because you value your innocence enough to stay away from pornography (furry or otherwise) - you try to keep your mind and your thoughts clean. This behavior carries over into the real world when you go out and interact with other sons and daughters of the LORD. You tend to see them as someone special and unique, worthy of respect. If you spend much of your time consuming and entertaining yourself to porn or adult roleplay for example - then you are much more likely to have sex-driven thoughts at the forefront when you go out and you encounter someone you feel an attraction towards.
On the topic of furry conventions - I have probably attended at least 13-15 conventions in my time - ranging from conventions on the west coast to conventions all the way on the east coast. There are big furry conventions and smaller furry conventions. Usually these take place at a hotel near/around the weekend. There is usually a wide range of panels people can go to that have involvement in furry topics - how to create good fictional worlds and characters as a writer, how to build fursuits, how to draw for fun or profit, spirituality in furry and so on. There is also a dealers den where people can commission badge art of their character(s) to wear while attending, or to purchase other art or furry themed items. I remember that it was not usually too hard to find art that you could commission or buy that was already made that is adult in nature. Usually there would be little stickers put over the naughty areas for legal purposes - but you could buy pre-made or commission art pieces with everything available for you to see. Convention staff would usually have to politely ask or warn convention goers to not engage in BDSM-style displays in (public) hotel areas. I remember seeing this sort of thing happen from time to time, where individuals who I guess would get a thrill out of strangers being made to be a witness to their roleplay would use collars and leashes and/or other BDSM style gear in these areas. Leading people around on a leash, etc.. I could take scans from some of my old furry convention con-books and post the part where the rules would plead or warn against this kind of behavior, but I'm sure other furries can verify this. It was just generally never a good look for furry if we ever wanted to be seen among non-furries or "normal folk" as people who are not sexual deviants. Given the nature of hotels it would not be impossible for families with children to be exposed to this sort of thing. Not good.
Also, this is a thing. Apparently according to https://www.reddit.com/r/yiffinhell.....e_sex_but_you/ - about 3 years ago at a Midwest FurFest convention, the convention teamed up with a health team to provide free HIV testing to convention goers. Proponents of this will argue 'What's wrong with that? Isn't it good to be safe and get tested to know that you are not a threat to others?' - I mean, yeah, I suppose that is a true point. But as the provided link mentions - generally speaking there are no conventions that generally feel the need to provide free HIV testing to its user-base while it is under way. Maybe BDSM conventions do this sort of thing - I don't know.. I have never been to one - but the thought of furry conventions offering free HIV tests so con-goers can try to mitigate the risk before hopping into bed with someone there leaves me really sad over the state of things within furry over the years. You would be much better off in not risking your life with over the weekend hook-ups but instead do what many people do - find someone you are interested in, date and get to know them for a good amount of time. If things click - you get married and then you can have the intimate romance. Though in today's day and age I realize the whole 'sex only after marriage' is very outdated.
MFF convention sign advertising free HIV testing.
The link entry states that this was about 3 years ago, which would be around 2019. It would mean it would have been about 6 years or so since I stopped attending conventions - so I really have no idea how the state of things are with these events now. Is HIV testing at furry conventions just an expected or normal thing now? I'd honestly like to know.
Prior to having a relationship with the LORD and His Son - one of my major sins was lust. Looking at adult furry art, even commissioning custom adult art pieces with my own furry character - something a lot of furries enjoy doing. Engaging in adult furry roleplay - I will not name where to do this but there are plenty of places on the internet where this sin can be indulged in. I would do all these things and although I was still able to interact with others when I went out into the real world - I never had the confidence that I have today when I go out to run errands and interact with others. Talking to ladies while running errands is not a struggle for me. I see them as the LORD's daughters, deserving of respect and kindness. I should also add here that many people who indulge in adult art or adult erotic roleplay often do so with the intent of getting something out of it in a physical manner, if you get my drift. When you give your life over to Christ - you no longer have this personality where you seek out and have an overwhelming desire to pleasure yourself through these sinful means. Yes, I used to engage in this adult behavior prior to being a Christian. Having been a Christian for around five years - I have not indulged in this self-pleasing behavior anymore. To those who do currently, having the problem of the sin of lust - I realize the idea that you can live a life without pleasing yourself sexually may seem like I'm asking you to fetch me the moon - but really, it's not that hard. The sensations people feel when they pleasure themselves sexually is akin to the pleasure areas in the brain that get stimulated when doing certain drugs. The dopamine release, the rush of pleasure. It's kind of like being addicted to a drug. There are addiction groups for people who are addicted to porn/sex - no joke. But here I am, telling you - and speaking from experience - you ARE strong enough to drop these habits - to move forward and never look back...if you want it badly enough. You just have to decide what means more to you - the pleasure you get from sex (whether with yourself or from others who you are not married to) - or the pleasure you receive from knowing you are a servant of the Living God of all Creation and His Son who died for your sins, Christ Jesus. The answer to me seems kind of obvious - but I do understand how hard it can be to take it seriously when you are currently deep in a specific sin. When I was deep in these sins - I never really wanted to hear about Jesus Christ or be told by others that I was putting a wedge between myself and God because of my own behavior. I didn't want to hear it. God realizes this and He respects your feelings if that's how you truly feel. He never pressed the matter for me at the time. He quietly waited until my life eventually seemed empty and pointless enough despite all the self serving pleasure that after the passing of my dad to colon cancer - I came to my lowest point and cried out to God - if He truly existed, to show me the truth and help me understand why I existed, what my purpose for being here was.
It was the strength I received from having faith in Jesus Christ - that is - my belief and desire to believe in Him that let me beat not only a life-long addiction to (furry/non-furry) porn and erotic roleplay, but to also kick a very long opiate and weed habit (10-15+ years). All in the name of Jesus Christ. Yes, there REALLY is power in His name. All you have to do is believe and study His teachings and the Holy Bible. It's a hard path to choose - because it means you are no longer the god (little g) of this world. Where previously at the end of the day you only had to answer to yourself on whether you should or shouldn't do something - you now have to answer to a new authority figure in your life. The LORD of all Creation, and His Son, Jesus Christ, who is effectively God also, come to us in a flesh body like we possess, in a sinless state, so that all the sin of the world - past, present, and future - could be laid on him on the cross so we could become forgiven for any and all sins we commit in our lifetime. Because, if the LORD is truly a 100% righteous and just God - then He cannot allow or be in the presence of sin - because that would be condoning it. Yes, He is a loving and merciful God - which is why all we need to do to be saved is to accept His Son's sacrifice - but even just accepting what someone did for us can seemingly be so hard for some people to do due to their prideful arrogance. The LORD *wants* us to go to where He is when we die and leave this world of sin and corruption - but we *can't* go to him if when we die we are still in a state of unforgiven sin - because, like I said - to do so would mean the LORD - a 100% holy and righteous God (a being that abhors anything considered sin/perverted according to His rules) - it would mean He is allowing behavior He abhors and stated to be not allowed to be within His presence. This would essentially make God a big hypocrite - so He /can't/ allow it. Lucky for us He gave every single one of us a way out so no matter what dumb, perverted, terrible stuff we've done in this life - we can go straight away to being in His presence just by accepting what He did for us as Jesus Christ. We must also try to flee from sin after becoming Christians - being forgiven is /not/ a license to sin as much as you want. We realize we will still make mistakes - but our nature at the core becomes a new being - someone who generally understands sin for what it is and the moment we recognize that it is tempting us - we flee from it, if we know what is good for us. This is a major part of being a good Christian.
Those individuals who don't want to hear about Jesus Christ behave this way because the sin inside them - the darkness that has influenced how they live and how they perceive reality causes them to see Jesus Christ - and those bringing His message as a threat. What is it a threat to? To the way they are used to living their lives - in a state of sin. For some of us it is the sin of lust. For some it is the sin of greed or envy. Research the seven deadly sins and the seven virtues (ways to battle each sin) to understand sin better - though I may make a post at some point on this subject as well.
Interestingly enough I would like to add that since much of my life as a furry was spent in the sin of lust and indulging in sexual roleplay online - I will sometimes go to these locations with angel-like versions of my current kangaroo avatar or something cute in general and try to gently bring others the gospel to try and save them. These are areas online where I used to indulge in the sin of lust with other sinners - but now instead I go to these locations with the desire to awaken others to the concept of sin and salvation. It is relatively rare that a location will allow me to do this for very long - even if I do so in a gentle and respectful manner. I have been banned(kicked off, not allowed to return) from a number of these places - but I do not take it personally. I tend to think back to a specific bible verse when this occurs - {“He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. “For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. “But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.” -John 3:18-21
What this is essentially saying is those who are currently engaging in a sinful behavior will see a Christ follower telling them about this bad behavior as an opponent. Someone who is trying to (in their eyes/feelings) attack them, judge them, persecute them for something they feel it is completely acceptable for them to be doing. This is because darkness clouds one's mind and senses - and sin has a creeping effect until you are eventually ruined by it. What I mean by this is someone may start off by shoplifting a candy-bar or relatively inexpensive items at first. But over time, their sin of choice will eventually compel them to up the ante, to do more and more, until one day they are stealing cars for example. Not that all thieves feel compelled to keep going in that direction specifically - we can commit all sorts of sins as unrepentant sinners - but chances are there will be one sin that will take ownership of your heart and soul. Perhaps it's two or three specific sins for some - but without a doubt everyone who is a slave to sin (rather than trying to be a slave to Jesus Christ) will engage in deeper and deeper levels of some specific sin. For sexual sin - you might start out enjoying plain heterosexual porn for example - but given a few years you might eventually find yourself enjoying any number of specific fetishes because that earlier enjoyment of "plain" heterosexual porn just wasn't doing it for you anymore. This is how sin works. It is deadly because it works evil in you and through you over time in a way where you don't usually realize you have turned over to the dark side. I was guilty of this. Just about every sinner is if they are not careful and living for Christ.
So as a Christian you may try to save others - only to be viewed as an enemy. Someone who is hateful, a bigot, unaccepting, etc. Really we are just the messenger of God's rules - but you can't really attack or criticize God - I mean, I guess you could, but good luck with that. But you can certainly try to aim all your indignation at the messenger instead. They are right there in front of you, after all - ruining your good times with words and concepts like sinner, sin, heaven and hell, grace and salvation...
I will admit that this has been one of the areas that has been the hardest for me to deal with. As a Christian and servant of the LORD and His Son I take my role in trying to awaken others to the true nature of this world and sin very seriously. I don't really get upset or bothered if people get angry or upset with me, because I remember back when I was deep in sin that I would have reacted in a similar way, so I can empathize. But the part that is hard for me is that it often seems like no matter how hard, or how gently and lovingly I try to bring others into the light and the truth - to save them from whatever hellish reality may await those who do not repent - I just can't seem to handle myself in a way that seems to click with others. Some people might be able to shrug their shoulders and say - Your job is to only plant the seed - let the LORD work in their lives after that - and this is true. As His servants technically we are only asked to gently make the truth known to those living in a state of sin and disbelief - after that it is up to them and the LORD interacting with them for them to make the right choices. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself - but I think about the fact that I have lived virtually all of my life being in a state of sin and not having a relationship with the LORD. No one really ever came to me to show me all this truth on the workings of reality and what is really going on in this world - and on the rare times that anyone did - it was often with a very critical, and very judgmental attitude. That would always turn me off and away from Jesus Christ and Christianity. Who would want to get involved with a group of people when they come up to you online and shout at you that you are an abomination for your behavior and will go to hell and that's about it? You could argue they were telling the truth, yes - but they were doing so in a way that does not show them to be taking the creed 'Love thy neighbor' to heart. When I go out either in the real world or into online (furry) environments - I do so with the belief that I am the Lord's servant, a brother to anyone I meet and interact with - and my job description is to bring them the truth - that they, much like myself, are a sinner, and it is our being in this state that God essentially *hides* from us in this life/reality unless/until we repent and accept what Jesus Christ did for us so we could be forgiven and put back into a 'sin-free/forgiven state' again.
Did you notice that I stated that God basically hides from you when you are in a state of unrepentant sin? Do you understand what this means? I will try to put it into words, though I am sure words will fail what I am trying to convey. Ever since I gave my life over to Christ and repented of my sins and have done my best to flee from sin and not sin - my reality has taken on a very strange twist. Supernatural things happen. I feel the best way I can honestly describe it is that when you become a servant and believer of Jesus Christ - God basically does some kind of "firmware update" on your mind. Your consciousness. Yes, that's right. You suddenly start perceiving reality differently. You see things you never saw before. You understand things you never understood before. Things in movies. Things in music. Things on billboards You gain a sort of intelligence or wisdom that you never could have gained if you had devoted the entire rest of your life to attending the most prestigious of colleges. What I am trying to say is there are certain "levels" of reality that are hidden from non-believers. They do not "see" certain things because they have no desire to see them. They are too focused on themselves rather then being in service to the LORD and others to see things. When you become a Christian - and trust me the LORD can see into everyone's heart to see just how seriously and genuine your walk is - you will be rewarded with certain answers and "a-ha" moments that you just come to KNOW is coming directly from God. Like having a direct up/down link with Him that you NEVER experienced as an unbeliever. As someone who had a colored history involving drugs while being in the furry fandom (cigarettes, cannabis, opiates, MDMA, mushrooms, alcohol), I can tell you that this sort of experience trumps any drug I had ever tried or involved myself with.
Here, let me give you an example of how something that I honestly don't think I would have ever noticed prior to being a Christian.
You know how there are bus benches in busy streets - and often these bus benches have ads on the backrest? I have seen an ad involving Smokey the Bear at times around where I live. Here is the actual graphic/ad:
Bus bench ad with a hidden message for those with eyes to see it..
Do you see it? Love thy NEIGHBORhood. Loving the LORD and loving your neighbor is straight from Jesus Christ's teachings. He essentially states how so very much of if not almost all the rest of good behavior originates just from obeying these two rules. If you are showing love to God and love to everyone else around you (even if they have views you don't agree with) - you are much less likely to sin and do bad things. I wanted to show this as a prime example of how the LORD hides little 'easter eggs' in His creation. Those who are walking in faith will see these easter eggs and realize RIGHT AWAY what is up. It's like a little wink from the LORD. Those who are living in sin and/or a state of disbelief may spot the message - but it won't resonate with them in a way that it does for those who are good sheep that are obeying their shepherd. This is what it means when Christians tell you that sinning and preferring a lifestyle that is sinful basically cuts you off from having a relationship with the LORD. That divine or supernatural up/down link is turned off. You will not experience it if you choose sinful behaviors and pleasures over pleasing Him. He gives you the choice - but my friends, I really am not kidding when I say that you will have so. much. more. joy. obeying the Lord rather then obeying sin.
I had originally intended for this entry to cover both the sin of lust in furry as well as the pride/LGBT acceptance/promotion, but I have this habit of being a bit verbose, so I suppose I will include the second segment in the next entry.
I am putting a warning here at the beginning of this entry because it is not my wish to offend or upset anyone. As a good Christian is supposed to see everyone as a brother or sister of theirs - my sincere hope is that there are others who may be in a situation that was similar to mine and that they will be able to learn from my self-perceived mistakes and to make whatever choices they feel inclined to make to improve their life. We currently live in such times that it is not unusual for threats to be made against others, or attempts made to cancel or censor someone if their beliefs differ from other people.
This entry is going to discuss a number of topics within the culture of furries. The first is that of the sin of lust. I will be examining this problem that we as furries have within furry, and how becoming a Christian has helped me to turn away from and resist these temptations, the positive benefits in doing so, and how I believe that you, the reader have the strength and willpower to say no to the sin of lust as well once you find your inner strength when following on a path as a servant of Jesus Christ.
The other topic will involve the sin of pride. Considered in Christian discussion to be the deadliest sin - as all other sins essentially are emanations in some form or fashion from the sin of pride. It is pride that makes us boastful. It is pride that makes us arrogant. It is pride that makes us self-centered. It is pride that we have to thank whenever we read the views or opinions of someone else and take offense, believing that we know better than they do - and who are they to tell us different? That is pride, and the best, most effective way to combat it is with the virtue of humility. One of the ways I will be talking about the sin of pride within furry is the way furry fandom is very open and accepting over certain lifestyles (LGBT) that in Christian belief is sinful and will separate you from God.
Before I upset anyone here. Let me also state that I feel I have some credentials to have a discussion about this topic. Not only have I been within the furry fandom for roughly 20+ years - but I have also identified as transgender while within it as well. Since roughly the early 2000's - probably around 2002-03 I have identified as male to female transgender. Now, keep in mind that I accepted Christ into my life only around 2017 or so. This means I've been a Christian for roughly 5 years give or take as of writing this entry. This means that for roughly around 13-15 years of my life I identified as transgender. That is a significant amount of time - and I hope a long enough amount of time that I will not get hit with the "No True Scotsman" straw-man that if one ever gives up or goes back on being transgender, that they were never *really* transgender in the first place. I don't feel it is fair to do this kind of hand-waving away of a person who lived a significant amount of life this way just because their current beliefs have changed. To use this argument is to essentially say that you are never allowed to leave the transgender movement if you want to be considered genuine. I mean, isn't this basically what juvenile gangs do? The whole "Once you're in, you're in for life." thing? It seems too easy of a tactic to try to dismiss the inconvenient truth of individuals like myself who - in finding faith in Jesus Christ were able to accept themselves for who they are and how God made them. With that said - I will do my absolute best to talk about my experiences as a transgender individual while I identified as such (2002-20016 est.), and my experiences as a Christian where I no longer identify as transgender in a way that is respectful to all sides. I'm not here to condemn people for how they wish to live their lives. I am here to explain how I lived my life, and how nothing seemed to give me true happiness and strength until I gave my life to the LORD and Jesus Christ and to start living for them and not just myself. If anything that I say resonates with you - wonderful! I hope I can help you to find your inner strength to do the research and explore this subject to see if you find truth in what I am telling you. If it doesn't resonate with you, well.. I appreciate that you find my entry interesting enough to read anyways. Thank you.
On the sin of lust - I believe that the majority of furries would agree with me that the furry fandom is known for being loose in the area of adult situations. There is a healthy hook-up culture within furry where some individuals seem very happy to engage in one-night stands, either online or offline, furry conventions offering us a very easy way to engage in these lustful encounters. In going back through my history within the furry community, I can say that even in the early 2000's that there were furry themed adult areas online if you knew where to look. Even before that time, one could go to what was known then as newsgroups using a newsgroup reader. Newsgroups were sort of like categorized forums based on various topics. There were quite a number of them - and if you had dial-up or internet service you could usually access these forums with the proper program. A popular free one I used way back in the day was called 'Free Agent'.
So there were plenty of newsgroups with innocent enough topics. But there were also quite a number of newsgroups that involve the sin of lust. I'm talking pornographic material, here. For many of us who were raised by or spent much of our life on the internet - this may have been where you first started to find you could have easy access to adult material. Whether still pictures that came in GIF or JPG format, or videos - one could flag content to be downloaded and then viewed. There were also furry themed newsgroups - and I honestly can't really remember how 'dirty' or adult these were at the time. My sin of lust at the time usually involved other non-furry related newsgroups - but I do recall that there were furry themed newsgroups. I would like to say at this early time in furry history there may not have been too heavy a lust problem - but perhaps some other brave soul who was also around at the time can fill the reader in here better than I can.
I'm not entirely sure I can recall when the switch was made from a dial up way of connecting online to permanent access via cable/DSL modems. I do know around this time that if you had the right connections - you could get into furry mailing lists that were adult themed. Still, at this time you had to work at it a bit to get access to the darker underbelly of furry, have someone vouch for you that you wouldn't expose members of the mailing list given the content that was being posted there. It was not easy, but it could be done if you wanted it bad enough.
Then there was Furnation.
Furnation banner ad.
Anyone remember Furnation? If my memory recalls correctly, it was like a sort of early version of a furry social network. It was used primarily(?) by furry artists, though if I remember well I don't believe it used the same template for every individual. I think it was more of a hosting space and people made their page to look how they wished. This was around the time of WYSIWYG editors. There were some artists that were posting art of an adult nature at this time - but probably still a decent amount that were posting SFW art. After that it kind of seems like a blur. There was DeviantArt and Furaffinity, which is still widely used by furries today. FA allows users to post art content, journals or blogs, request or fulfill commission work. It's well liked by a lot of people - though I would highly advise keeping the included filters turned ON to screen adult content. The site is built in a way that the most recent 27 or so art entries that get posted show up on the 'frontpage' - so people can see the most recent art that has been posted at any given time. By clicking on the art piece you can find out the artist who created it and look over their Furaffinity profile, which will tell you information about them. Unfortunately there is a lot of adult art that gets posted to FA at any given time - much of it considered to be 'fetish' territory. A fetish basically has to do with a specific behavior or interest that a person enjoys in a sexual way. As someone whose former sin was lust and adult roleplay/art within the furry community - I can tell you there are lots of fetishes out there. Though, fetishes aren't just something that can be found in furry - it's basically something that goes along with the sin of lust. If you are a particularly lustful person, there is a good chance you will at some time, sooner or later - develop an interest in fetishes. I would highly advise keeping the 'screen adult content' filter turned on if you make an account on FA - otherwise you will get hit with a lot of sexual content - and we are warned as Christians by our savior Jesus Christ that even looking at someone with lust in our hearts is essentially committing adultery with that person. Yeah, I realize these are fantasy art pieces and these characters technically don't exist - but lust is lust, you know? If you are looking at adult material with the desire to get turned on - you are essentially giving in to the sin of lust. There are consequences to this behavior. You lose your innocence. The LORD wishes us to maintain our innocence and purity. Sex and the miracle of creation that it allows for is something that has been entrusted to us for when we find that special someone and commit to them in marriage. If instead you spend days, months, years of your life looking at adult art and pleasing yourself in that manner - why would you ever feel as much commitment to take care of yourself in such a way to hopefully find that special someone? Also, having a lusty personality means that you are much more likely to initially fantasize or view others in the real world with a lustful mind as well. If you instead avert your eyes and stay away from adult art/porn online to try and maintain your innocence and purity - then you are not going to be likely to fantasize and have lustful thoughts enter your mind the moment you see someone who you feel attracted to. Because you value your innocence enough to stay away from pornography (furry or otherwise) - you try to keep your mind and your thoughts clean. This behavior carries over into the real world when you go out and interact with other sons and daughters of the LORD. You tend to see them as someone special and unique, worthy of respect. If you spend much of your time consuming and entertaining yourself to porn or adult roleplay for example - then you are much more likely to have sex-driven thoughts at the forefront when you go out and you encounter someone you feel an attraction towards.
On the topic of furry conventions - I have probably attended at least 13-15 conventions in my time - ranging from conventions on the west coast to conventions all the way on the east coast. There are big furry conventions and smaller furry conventions. Usually these take place at a hotel near/around the weekend. There is usually a wide range of panels people can go to that have involvement in furry topics - how to create good fictional worlds and characters as a writer, how to build fursuits, how to draw for fun or profit, spirituality in furry and so on. There is also a dealers den where people can commission badge art of their character(s) to wear while attending, or to purchase other art or furry themed items. I remember that it was not usually too hard to find art that you could commission or buy that was already made that is adult in nature. Usually there would be little stickers put over the naughty areas for legal purposes - but you could buy pre-made or commission art pieces with everything available for you to see. Convention staff would usually have to politely ask or warn convention goers to not engage in BDSM-style displays in (public) hotel areas. I remember seeing this sort of thing happen from time to time, where individuals who I guess would get a thrill out of strangers being made to be a witness to their roleplay would use collars and leashes and/or other BDSM style gear in these areas. Leading people around on a leash, etc.. I could take scans from some of my old furry convention con-books and post the part where the rules would plead or warn against this kind of behavior, but I'm sure other furries can verify this. It was just generally never a good look for furry if we ever wanted to be seen among non-furries or "normal folk" as people who are not sexual deviants. Given the nature of hotels it would not be impossible for families with children to be exposed to this sort of thing. Not good.
Also, this is a thing. Apparently according to https://www.reddit.com/r/yiffinhell.....e_sex_but_you/ - about 3 years ago at a Midwest FurFest convention, the convention teamed up with a health team to provide free HIV testing to convention goers. Proponents of this will argue 'What's wrong with that? Isn't it good to be safe and get tested to know that you are not a threat to others?' - I mean, yeah, I suppose that is a true point. But as the provided link mentions - generally speaking there are no conventions that generally feel the need to provide free HIV testing to its user-base while it is under way. Maybe BDSM conventions do this sort of thing - I don't know.. I have never been to one - but the thought of furry conventions offering free HIV tests so con-goers can try to mitigate the risk before hopping into bed with someone there leaves me really sad over the state of things within furry over the years. You would be much better off in not risking your life with over the weekend hook-ups but instead do what many people do - find someone you are interested in, date and get to know them for a good amount of time. If things click - you get married and then you can have the intimate romance. Though in today's day and age I realize the whole 'sex only after marriage' is very outdated.
MFF convention sign advertising free HIV testing.
The link entry states that this was about 3 years ago, which would be around 2019. It would mean it would have been about 6 years or so since I stopped attending conventions - so I really have no idea how the state of things are with these events now. Is HIV testing at furry conventions just an expected or normal thing now? I'd honestly like to know.
Prior to having a relationship with the LORD and His Son - one of my major sins was lust. Looking at adult furry art, even commissioning custom adult art pieces with my own furry character - something a lot of furries enjoy doing. Engaging in adult furry roleplay - I will not name where to do this but there are plenty of places on the internet where this sin can be indulged in. I would do all these things and although I was still able to interact with others when I went out into the real world - I never had the confidence that I have today when I go out to run errands and interact with others. Talking to ladies while running errands is not a struggle for me. I see them as the LORD's daughters, deserving of respect and kindness. I should also add here that many people who indulge in adult art or adult erotic roleplay often do so with the intent of getting something out of it in a physical manner, if you get my drift. When you give your life over to Christ - you no longer have this personality where you seek out and have an overwhelming desire to pleasure yourself through these sinful means. Yes, I used to engage in this adult behavior prior to being a Christian. Having been a Christian for around five years - I have not indulged in this self-pleasing behavior anymore. To those who do currently, having the problem of the sin of lust - I realize the idea that you can live a life without pleasing yourself sexually may seem like I'm asking you to fetch me the moon - but really, it's not that hard. The sensations people feel when they pleasure themselves sexually is akin to the pleasure areas in the brain that get stimulated when doing certain drugs. The dopamine release, the rush of pleasure. It's kind of like being addicted to a drug. There are addiction groups for people who are addicted to porn/sex - no joke. But here I am, telling you - and speaking from experience - you ARE strong enough to drop these habits - to move forward and never look back...if you want it badly enough. You just have to decide what means more to you - the pleasure you get from sex (whether with yourself or from others who you are not married to) - or the pleasure you receive from knowing you are a servant of the Living God of all Creation and His Son who died for your sins, Christ Jesus. The answer to me seems kind of obvious - but I do understand how hard it can be to take it seriously when you are currently deep in a specific sin. When I was deep in these sins - I never really wanted to hear about Jesus Christ or be told by others that I was putting a wedge between myself and God because of my own behavior. I didn't want to hear it. God realizes this and He respects your feelings if that's how you truly feel. He never pressed the matter for me at the time. He quietly waited until my life eventually seemed empty and pointless enough despite all the self serving pleasure that after the passing of my dad to colon cancer - I came to my lowest point and cried out to God - if He truly existed, to show me the truth and help me understand why I existed, what my purpose for being here was.
It was the strength I received from having faith in Jesus Christ - that is - my belief and desire to believe in Him that let me beat not only a life-long addiction to (furry/non-furry) porn and erotic roleplay, but to also kick a very long opiate and weed habit (10-15+ years). All in the name of Jesus Christ. Yes, there REALLY is power in His name. All you have to do is believe and study His teachings and the Holy Bible. It's a hard path to choose - because it means you are no longer the god (little g) of this world. Where previously at the end of the day you only had to answer to yourself on whether you should or shouldn't do something - you now have to answer to a new authority figure in your life. The LORD of all Creation, and His Son, Jesus Christ, who is effectively God also, come to us in a flesh body like we possess, in a sinless state, so that all the sin of the world - past, present, and future - could be laid on him on the cross so we could become forgiven for any and all sins we commit in our lifetime. Because, if the LORD is truly a 100% righteous and just God - then He cannot allow or be in the presence of sin - because that would be condoning it. Yes, He is a loving and merciful God - which is why all we need to do to be saved is to accept His Son's sacrifice - but even just accepting what someone did for us can seemingly be so hard for some people to do due to their prideful arrogance. The LORD *wants* us to go to where He is when we die and leave this world of sin and corruption - but we *can't* go to him if when we die we are still in a state of unforgiven sin - because, like I said - to do so would mean the LORD - a 100% holy and righteous God (a being that abhors anything considered sin/perverted according to His rules) - it would mean He is allowing behavior He abhors and stated to be not allowed to be within His presence. This would essentially make God a big hypocrite - so He /can't/ allow it. Lucky for us He gave every single one of us a way out so no matter what dumb, perverted, terrible stuff we've done in this life - we can go straight away to being in His presence just by accepting what He did for us as Jesus Christ. We must also try to flee from sin after becoming Christians - being forgiven is /not/ a license to sin as much as you want. We realize we will still make mistakes - but our nature at the core becomes a new being - someone who generally understands sin for what it is and the moment we recognize that it is tempting us - we flee from it, if we know what is good for us. This is a major part of being a good Christian.
Those individuals who don't want to hear about Jesus Christ behave this way because the sin inside them - the darkness that has influenced how they live and how they perceive reality causes them to see Jesus Christ - and those bringing His message as a threat. What is it a threat to? To the way they are used to living their lives - in a state of sin. For some of us it is the sin of lust. For some it is the sin of greed or envy. Research the seven deadly sins and the seven virtues (ways to battle each sin) to understand sin better - though I may make a post at some point on this subject as well.
Interestingly enough I would like to add that since much of my life as a furry was spent in the sin of lust and indulging in sexual roleplay online - I will sometimes go to these locations with angel-like versions of my current kangaroo avatar or something cute in general and try to gently bring others the gospel to try and save them. These are areas online where I used to indulge in the sin of lust with other sinners - but now instead I go to these locations with the desire to awaken others to the concept of sin and salvation. It is relatively rare that a location will allow me to do this for very long - even if I do so in a gentle and respectful manner. I have been banned(kicked off, not allowed to return) from a number of these places - but I do not take it personally. I tend to think back to a specific bible verse when this occurs - {“He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. “For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. “But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.” -John 3:18-21
What this is essentially saying is those who are currently engaging in a sinful behavior will see a Christ follower telling them about this bad behavior as an opponent. Someone who is trying to (in their eyes/feelings) attack them, judge them, persecute them for something they feel it is completely acceptable for them to be doing. This is because darkness clouds one's mind and senses - and sin has a creeping effect until you are eventually ruined by it. What I mean by this is someone may start off by shoplifting a candy-bar or relatively inexpensive items at first. But over time, their sin of choice will eventually compel them to up the ante, to do more and more, until one day they are stealing cars for example. Not that all thieves feel compelled to keep going in that direction specifically - we can commit all sorts of sins as unrepentant sinners - but chances are there will be one sin that will take ownership of your heart and soul. Perhaps it's two or three specific sins for some - but without a doubt everyone who is a slave to sin (rather than trying to be a slave to Jesus Christ) will engage in deeper and deeper levels of some specific sin. For sexual sin - you might start out enjoying plain heterosexual porn for example - but given a few years you might eventually find yourself enjoying any number of specific fetishes because that earlier enjoyment of "plain" heterosexual porn just wasn't doing it for you anymore. This is how sin works. It is deadly because it works evil in you and through you over time in a way where you don't usually realize you have turned over to the dark side. I was guilty of this. Just about every sinner is if they are not careful and living for Christ.
So as a Christian you may try to save others - only to be viewed as an enemy. Someone who is hateful, a bigot, unaccepting, etc. Really we are just the messenger of God's rules - but you can't really attack or criticize God - I mean, I guess you could, but good luck with that. But you can certainly try to aim all your indignation at the messenger instead. They are right there in front of you, after all - ruining your good times with words and concepts like sinner, sin, heaven and hell, grace and salvation...
I will admit that this has been one of the areas that has been the hardest for me to deal with. As a Christian and servant of the LORD and His Son I take my role in trying to awaken others to the true nature of this world and sin very seriously. I don't really get upset or bothered if people get angry or upset with me, because I remember back when I was deep in sin that I would have reacted in a similar way, so I can empathize. But the part that is hard for me is that it often seems like no matter how hard, or how gently and lovingly I try to bring others into the light and the truth - to save them from whatever hellish reality may await those who do not repent - I just can't seem to handle myself in a way that seems to click with others. Some people might be able to shrug their shoulders and say - Your job is to only plant the seed - let the LORD work in their lives after that - and this is true. As His servants technically we are only asked to gently make the truth known to those living in a state of sin and disbelief - after that it is up to them and the LORD interacting with them for them to make the right choices. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself - but I think about the fact that I have lived virtually all of my life being in a state of sin and not having a relationship with the LORD. No one really ever came to me to show me all this truth on the workings of reality and what is really going on in this world - and on the rare times that anyone did - it was often with a very critical, and very judgmental attitude. That would always turn me off and away from Jesus Christ and Christianity. Who would want to get involved with a group of people when they come up to you online and shout at you that you are an abomination for your behavior and will go to hell and that's about it? You could argue they were telling the truth, yes - but they were doing so in a way that does not show them to be taking the creed 'Love thy neighbor' to heart. When I go out either in the real world or into online (furry) environments - I do so with the belief that I am the Lord's servant, a brother to anyone I meet and interact with - and my job description is to bring them the truth - that they, much like myself, are a sinner, and it is our being in this state that God essentially *hides* from us in this life/reality unless/until we repent and accept what Jesus Christ did for us so we could be forgiven and put back into a 'sin-free/forgiven state' again.
Did you notice that I stated that God basically hides from you when you are in a state of unrepentant sin? Do you understand what this means? I will try to put it into words, though I am sure words will fail what I am trying to convey. Ever since I gave my life over to Christ and repented of my sins and have done my best to flee from sin and not sin - my reality has taken on a very strange twist. Supernatural things happen. I feel the best way I can honestly describe it is that when you become a servant and believer of Jesus Christ - God basically does some kind of "firmware update" on your mind. Your consciousness. Yes, that's right. You suddenly start perceiving reality differently. You see things you never saw before. You understand things you never understood before. Things in movies. Things in music. Things on billboards You gain a sort of intelligence or wisdom that you never could have gained if you had devoted the entire rest of your life to attending the most prestigious of colleges. What I am trying to say is there are certain "levels" of reality that are hidden from non-believers. They do not "see" certain things because they have no desire to see them. They are too focused on themselves rather then being in service to the LORD and others to see things. When you become a Christian - and trust me the LORD can see into everyone's heart to see just how seriously and genuine your walk is - you will be rewarded with certain answers and "a-ha" moments that you just come to KNOW is coming directly from God. Like having a direct up/down link with Him that you NEVER experienced as an unbeliever. As someone who had a colored history involving drugs while being in the furry fandom (cigarettes, cannabis, opiates, MDMA, mushrooms, alcohol), I can tell you that this sort of experience trumps any drug I had ever tried or involved myself with.
Here, let me give you an example of how something that I honestly don't think I would have ever noticed prior to being a Christian.
You know how there are bus benches in busy streets - and often these bus benches have ads on the backrest? I have seen an ad involving Smokey the Bear at times around where I live. Here is the actual graphic/ad:
Bus bench ad with a hidden message for those with eyes to see it..
Do you see it? Love thy NEIGHBORhood. Loving the LORD and loving your neighbor is straight from Jesus Christ's teachings. He essentially states how so very much of if not almost all the rest of good behavior originates just from obeying these two rules. If you are showing love to God and love to everyone else around you (even if they have views you don't agree with) - you are much less likely to sin and do bad things. I wanted to show this as a prime example of how the LORD hides little 'easter eggs' in His creation. Those who are walking in faith will see these easter eggs and realize RIGHT AWAY what is up. It's like a little wink from the LORD. Those who are living in sin and/or a state of disbelief may spot the message - but it won't resonate with them in a way that it does for those who are good sheep that are obeying their shepherd. This is what it means when Christians tell you that sinning and preferring a lifestyle that is sinful basically cuts you off from having a relationship with the LORD. That divine or supernatural up/down link is turned off. You will not experience it if you choose sinful behaviors and pleasures over pleasing Him. He gives you the choice - but my friends, I really am not kidding when I say that you will have so. much. more. joy. obeying the Lord rather then obeying sin.
I had originally intended for this entry to cover both the sin of lust in furry as well as the pride/LGBT acceptance/promotion, but I have this habit of being a bit verbose, so I suppose I will include the second segment in the next entry.
