Fears of being poor...
3 years ago
Last night I had one of the most depressing dreams in a while.
I don't know the german term, but here it's "Privatinsolvenz" which basically means to declare to the state that you are absolutely, utterly broke and can no longer fulfill outstanding payments and, in fact, pay for anything at all. Done, no money, out, over. And basically I dreamed that I had to do this, that policemen came and took all my stuff away, rudely throwing it into boxes and just treating it like trash although it has incredible value to me. A while later, I saw a picture of myself curled up under a bench near a trainstop, sleeping.
Terrifying, really. Being scared of being poor is one thing, but dreaming of it and having your whole day just absolutely suck on an emotional level is another. Even my normal coping strats didn't really work so far so... yeah, goess today is just a fucking shit day. (Excuse my french there - but honestly, I literally have no other words to describe this.)
That said; friendly reminder that although someone always smiles at you does not neccessarily mean they are also smiling within. Give everybody the love and care that you love and care for. That could just be listening to them, waving them a friendly hello or other things. From just waving to outright letting actions talk - its always better to do something than nothing.
But honestly, with this state of my life since late 2018, I am surprised I haven't gone bonkers yet.
Posted using PostyBirb
I don't know the german term, but here it's "Privatinsolvenz" which basically means to declare to the state that you are absolutely, utterly broke and can no longer fulfill outstanding payments and, in fact, pay for anything at all. Done, no money, out, over. And basically I dreamed that I had to do this, that policemen came and took all my stuff away, rudely throwing it into boxes and just treating it like trash although it has incredible value to me. A while later, I saw a picture of myself curled up under a bench near a trainstop, sleeping.
Terrifying, really. Being scared of being poor is one thing, but dreaming of it and having your whole day just absolutely suck on an emotional level is another. Even my normal coping strats didn't really work so far so... yeah, goess today is just a fucking shit day. (Excuse my french there - but honestly, I literally have no other words to describe this.)
That said; friendly reminder that although someone always smiles at you does not neccessarily mean they are also smiling within. Give everybody the love and care that you love and care for. That could just be listening to them, waving them a friendly hello or other things. From just waving to outright letting actions talk - its always better to do something than nothing.
But honestly, with this state of my life since late 2018, I am surprised I haven't gone bonkers yet.
Posted using PostyBirb