I know what ya mean. Had a few artist friends in the past who were fun to play around with but even if I didn't personally care, it still seemed like me wanting to do anything with them was at gunpoint because they knew they had a commission on the burner. That or stress that I wasn't telling the full truth when I said a work was good or not. Debts strain relationships.

Then there's the folks with this sort of tunnel-vision who mean well but their mind is focused on doing one thing and one thing only and everything else is just a means of working towards getting at that one super-specific thing and if you're not interested in that one thing, they'll hold off and ask later a few times before contact ceases. The thing varies with the person but the situation is often the same.

Hey if you want to chat, we can chat in notes if you want, maybe even rp~ I wanna be vored~ >w<

If you wanna chat just say so I’m always on this website doing God knows what

I think it's always hard when most interactions are done online as that just isn't the same as being with people in real life. It's so much harder to maintain a relationship and understanding of one another. The internet makes it easy to meet like-minded people, which is great and all my friends I've met here on FA, but without that more personal contact it feels easier to let relationships fade. For me I've found voice chatting helps me with this quite a bit.

As for the artist aspect, I'm not one and I don't post much of my writing, but I can imagine it can be difficult where some people are attracted to the wonderful art you make moreso than the wonderful artist that created it, and I think that's a shame. On the other side I've wanted to befriend quite a few artists that seem to share interests with me, but can never seem to make any connections. I often get too self-conscious and worried that I sound too much like I'm simping or trying to get free art, and I don't know how to get around that. Sometimes I feel like I need to standout from everyone else somehow to get their attention, and when I do get it I can't seem to be at ease keeping that attention.

I lost one of my closest friends who was an artist because she wanted nothing to do with this space anymore. That was all fine and good but she also didn't want to see me anymore period just to talk normally. She said no hard feelings but it made the last 10 years or so feel like a lie or meaningless to them.

I wouldn't mind trying to become a friend but it may be difficult depending on common ground. On my old friend above we barely shared the same things in common lol. We had like 2 but even still made it work for a decade. I feel to at least feel chummy ya gotta have something to share, and not just vore. Especially when it's something worked on for money as it becomes partially a job.

I don't know if you're reading this or willing to respond but I'm always open to just try talking things out and giving things a chance. I don't consider myself that great a person and truth be told I don't even like myself or think highly of me. But I do like helping other people feel better if I can. So the burden of communication is up to you whether you want to talk with me, your friends, or someone closer to you. Best of luck.

Hey there, just wanted to tell you that I rode your message. I read all messages in fact, I'm just often terribly shy about leaving comments or responding anything publicly like this, I'm much more likely to respond people in private.

Sorry to hear about this loss of a friend, time heal all wounds, if not it lessen it's stings, but I hope you're doing better now. About we becoming friends... I'd put that into maybe, as much I'm thankful to see there are folks here that would like to become friends, I'm not really sure how to feel about it right now, maybe in a different better time, I don't think I'm in the right stable mood to accept everyone trying to befriend me, I'm not saying that this is your case, but some people may try to take advantage while you're vulnerable, trying to be careful just to not make my situation worse.

I don't consider myself to be a great person either, but I try to treat myself fairly like, I don't carry self-loathing but I don't really think myself being above everyone. We all have some pitfalls and tic differently, have our little hipocrisis. I for example, I'm more likely to invest into befriending someone if I know in the long run I could get something in return, so for example, I'm often more interested in trying to befriend other artists, so that way we could trade, buy comms from eachother or help with eachother's project or learn something from. I sometimes befriend costumers coming to buy comms, not much because of the money, we kind of just start talking more frequently and all of the sudden, we're friends, not exactly sure how we clicked, but one friend I have is from France. I have a bit of difficult connecting with people that for me don't seems to bring much for the table for me, don't draw, don't write, don't make music, only play games, something that today I'm a little out of the loop, I have no current consoles and I can't afford to keep buying games so I can stay hip with the kids, so I tend to stick with old games that most people don't care anymore and single player. Art stuff with me in the only reliable bridge I have to connect with others.

Anyway, thank your for reaching out and best of luck for you too.

Thanks

Hey it's fine. I didn't say I specifically had to be the one to help you. It could be anyone you know or perhaps even family. From someone who typically bottles things up it's just not good to not try and at least find some outlet to let it out or vent to. Leads to pretty bad things or in my case close family hating you. Surely there's at least someone you trust to vent your full feelings to.

Yeah from personal experience that's not healthy. It's all well and good to pay friends, heck it's very encouraged and way better than trying to get freebies. Mixing friends and work can make it feel like they're customers rather than friends. I know that dark greedy feeling and I also have it deep down, but refuse to let it control me as I rather get to know the people if I can. I think games don't have to be the only thing to connect people. I don't need to list other things as I'm sure you already know them. I totally understand how difficult it is to make friends with people who hardly have anything in common or even nothing. I don't really have many friends, especially in real life where I don't have any. So friend advice from me is taken with an especially small grain of salt.

NP. I'm sure you'll figure something out eventually.

I feel like that's a very recurring thing that's happening recently. Been going through something vaguely similar and it really sucks. Being at work while people are doing stuff and coming home and there's just nobody to talk to. It just wears you down. And then when ya do try to talk to people its just mostly silence.

But hey, I'm always up for meeting new people. Feel free to let me know and we can chat on discord or something