I wonder why every year I spiral just a bit further down especially now. Halloween should be filled with joy and excitement. Creativity and such should practically be running rampant through my mind. Instead I sit here by this fucking computer so goddamn numb and hollow that I feel like crawling up into a ball and just waiting for it to end. Lying here my stomach growling in agony from not eating and all I can do is measure my labored breathing like I'm wasting away. Mentally I'm almost gone and I'm just grasping for the strands of whats left keeping this knife away from me and showing what I truly feel. So sharp resting against my face I start to dig it in and remember what she said and how she tried to help me...

Isn't it time to smile yet?