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LFRP Part 2.5
3 years ago
I haven't finished making an f-list yet, I'm very slow at dang things
But I been thinking a lot about it and what I want it to entail.
I've thought about it long and hard, and I think I'm settling on "I want a boyfriend to RP with."
Like, a boy willing to play girl characters if the mood strikes, but, a boy.
I dunno what happened but I've been thinking a lot about my experiences in life with girlfriends. 9 years of a trans girlfriend using me and financially (and emotionally) abusing me while refusing to ever meet me IRL, a girlfriend who spent 2 months hanging out with me and then we hooked up and she immediately (literally an hour later) changed her mind after I made a public announcement that we were a couple and now my fans still think we're together a year after that heartbreak, various trans girls who I didn't like or get along with or wasn't particularly attracted to who spent months being ultra clingy and put me in an awkward position of not knowing how to speak with them, girls throughout my entire teenage life who treated me like shit and made me cry all the time.
Then I think about the boys in my life. The dudes, the guys.
We just talk. We get along, we hang out, we talk about sex stuff, we jack off, we look at porn, we eat burgers.
So few of them have ever been people I couldn't get along with or talk to.
So, y'know what?
I think I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend who'll motivate me while I lose weight and get muscles, a boyfriend who'll play games with me, RP with me, go to the movies with me, etc.
I think that's what I want.
While we're here? Also? I think I might not be trans.
I know, I know, I should probably make an entire journal about that alone but I spent the literal whole day today thinking about my gender.
I think I'm just a boy, haha. I just like girly things! I like being feminine, giggling, being a cutie, but I don't think that makes me like, bigender or gender fluid.
I think I'm just a boy who likes to wear lipstick and shake my butt on Beat Saber.
Anyway that f-list is still coming!
But I been thinking a lot about it and what I want it to entail.
I've thought about it long and hard, and I think I'm settling on "I want a boyfriend to RP with."
Like, a boy willing to play girl characters if the mood strikes, but, a boy.
I dunno what happened but I've been thinking a lot about my experiences in life with girlfriends. 9 years of a trans girlfriend using me and financially (and emotionally) abusing me while refusing to ever meet me IRL, a girlfriend who spent 2 months hanging out with me and then we hooked up and she immediately (literally an hour later) changed her mind after I made a public announcement that we were a couple and now my fans still think we're together a year after that heartbreak, various trans girls who I didn't like or get along with or wasn't particularly attracted to who spent months being ultra clingy and put me in an awkward position of not knowing how to speak with them, girls throughout my entire teenage life who treated me like shit and made me cry all the time.
Then I think about the boys in my life. The dudes, the guys.
We just talk. We get along, we hang out, we talk about sex stuff, we jack off, we look at porn, we eat burgers.
So few of them have ever been people I couldn't get along with or talk to.
So, y'know what?
I think I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend who'll motivate me while I lose weight and get muscles, a boyfriend who'll play games with me, RP with me, go to the movies with me, etc.
I think that's what I want.
While we're here? Also? I think I might not be trans.
I know, I know, I should probably make an entire journal about that alone but I spent the literal whole day today thinking about my gender.
I think I'm just a boy, haha. I just like girly things! I like being feminine, giggling, being a cutie, but I don't think that makes me like, bigender or gender fluid.
I think I'm just a boy who likes to wear lipstick and shake my butt on Beat Saber.
Anyway that f-list is still coming!
I feel like I'm looking for a guy that's like that as well: someone to hang out with, make jokes, play games, and just be good friends with. And when the need arises, someone to be intimate with.
My experience with relationships is that its best to know what you are looking for firstoff and you are honest with the other person off the bat about your wants, as lack of communication is the biggest hindrance on any relationship.
Best of luck to you Jay.
If it helps, I answer to both pronouns but biologically I am very much male and will likely keep it that way, I just like answering to she/her more often than not, and I tend to mostly play girls in RP despite having mostly male OCs, I am also good with making new ones, and really big long-term RPs that require a lot of investment and the like, just throwing it out there!
Anyway, I'm gonna creep on your f-list, cutie boy