FA+
Shop
Sorry for not replying!
3 years ago
I wanted to get something off my chest.
My years on Tumblr and Twitter have made me quite afraid of discussing topics that the cultures on those sites deem problematic or toxic.
An announcement like "I don't think I'm trans, I think I'm just a feminine guy" would have gotten me attacked viciously on either website, so mentioning it in my previous journal here was a huge risk, but I've seen nothing but support from y'all furries, kind words and genuine interest in getting to know me from the boys of my follower base.
It's kind of astonishing.
On Tumblr, multiple times, I expressed how lonely and touch-starved I am, and how much I feel I'm unlovable, and how much I need a friend, and I've gotten ignored, told to fuck off, called transphobic (for literally no reason [Hell, I had a post where I was defending trans culture and was violently called transphobic and read such lovely messages as "If this guy posts a suicide note, nobody tell me, I don't fucking care"]), and various other delightful things.
So when I posted journals here about being bi, not being bi, being attracted to cisgendered people, even going so far as to say I don't even think I'm trans, I admittedly expected backlash. I've grown accustomed to just saying something, getting yelled at, deleting the post and leaving.
But y'all have been supportive, proud of me for being honest, even interested in RPing with me, some even straight up interested in dating me and I haven't even made my f-list yet.
I'm like.
I'm kind of in shock.
So when y'all are commenting, know that I am reading every single comment, even the multi-para ones, and I'm smiling super hard from the breath of fresh air that is the overwhelming levels of acceptance and kindness and proudness I've been getting thrown my way.
But I don't know how to respond. I wanna say thanks, I wanna keep the conversation rolling, but I gotta move past that fear of Tumblrites and Twitterlings attacking me for everything I say.
I gotta remind myself that FurAffinity was always a place where people were open minded and loving.
Hell, I gotta remember that y'all accepted me BEFORE I moved to Twitter
Back when I was KNOWN for drawing NON-CON ART.
When people used to say "God, Jay, you draw the best rape-face ever. <3" in my stream chats.
Instead of getting so angry with me that they made an Encyclopedia Dramatica about me (it's gone now, I miss it) because I developed an entire hater-base over drawing a commission of Rainbow Dash getting throat-fucked and crying.
Like, man.
It's a breath of fresh air being reminded the entire world is not Tumblr and Twitter.
And that there's entire communities of loving and accepting people who know how to differentiate fiction from reality.
Love you guys.
And gals.
Especially you fox gals.
My years on Tumblr and Twitter have made me quite afraid of discussing topics that the cultures on those sites deem problematic or toxic.
An announcement like "I don't think I'm trans, I think I'm just a feminine guy" would have gotten me attacked viciously on either website, so mentioning it in my previous journal here was a huge risk, but I've seen nothing but support from y'all furries, kind words and genuine interest in getting to know me from the boys of my follower base.
It's kind of astonishing.
On Tumblr, multiple times, I expressed how lonely and touch-starved I am, and how much I feel I'm unlovable, and how much I need a friend, and I've gotten ignored, told to fuck off, called transphobic (for literally no reason [Hell, I had a post where I was defending trans culture and was violently called transphobic and read such lovely messages as "If this guy posts a suicide note, nobody tell me, I don't fucking care"]), and various other delightful things.
So when I posted journals here about being bi, not being bi, being attracted to cisgendered people, even going so far as to say I don't even think I'm trans, I admittedly expected backlash. I've grown accustomed to just saying something, getting yelled at, deleting the post and leaving.
But y'all have been supportive, proud of me for being honest, even interested in RPing with me, some even straight up interested in dating me and I haven't even made my f-list yet.
I'm like.
I'm kind of in shock.
So when y'all are commenting, know that I am reading every single comment, even the multi-para ones, and I'm smiling super hard from the breath of fresh air that is the overwhelming levels of acceptance and kindness and proudness I've been getting thrown my way.
But I don't know how to respond. I wanna say thanks, I wanna keep the conversation rolling, but I gotta move past that fear of Tumblrites and Twitterlings attacking me for everything I say.
I gotta remind myself that FurAffinity was always a place where people were open minded and loving.
Hell, I gotta remember that y'all accepted me BEFORE I moved to Twitter
Back when I was KNOWN for drawing NON-CON ART.
When people used to say "God, Jay, you draw the best rape-face ever. <3" in my stream chats.
Instead of getting so angry with me that they made an Encyclopedia Dramatica about me (it's gone now, I miss it) because I developed an entire hater-base over drawing a commission of Rainbow Dash getting throat-fucked and crying.
Like, man.
It's a breath of fresh air being reminded the entire world is not Tumblr and Twitter.
And that there's entire communities of loving and accepting people who know how to differentiate fiction from reality.
Love you guys.
And gals.
Especially you fox gals.
This. So much this. Why can't anyone understand that the head is always a messy place. And that if someone writes "+1" to strange things, it doesn't mean they will try to make it at home, being that a non-con, guro, bestiality or even an ice cream with mustard.
Jay, you're awesome! Don't you forget that! :D
P.S. I still love that art with Fluttershy "You certainly were pent up, mr Wolf".
And still think that your zebra mares are super right when they tell "Zebras do it better!" - about themselves.
Twitter and Tumblr's bad people are like that movie "Mean Girls".
And yes, far too many of them can't separate fiction from reality. XD
And their popularity has bled that toxicity into a lot of smaller subcultures like Discord servers or the Brony fandom.
It really, over the last decade, left me thinking there's no hope for humanity, that everyone is that evil and wicked.
Only just these last few weeks posting on FA did I get reminded how many good people there are left in the world.
I have, on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS, asked very simple questions in Discord servers only to be sassed and chewed out and told to fuck off by people I don't even know.
I asked about a Beat Saber update to the developers of Beat Saber, I asked "Will the song editor coming out be coming with any system changes to the base game?" during a QnA with the devs of the game
And like 25 people in the server told me to shut the fuck up and said my question is toxic and mean and problematic and "The devs aren't obligated to answer your shit question get the fuck out of here" and I was like "WHY THE FUCK HAS THE INTERNET TAUGHT EVERYONE TO FUCKING ACT LIKE THIS? NOTHING I SAID WAS PROBLEMATIC IT'S A PERFECTLY REASONABLE QUESTION"
I also drew an open species that an artist made up and posted it in their server, only to have their fans say it looked like shit and that I didn't follow the 'rules' of the open species.
I also asked in a Path of Exile trade server called The Forbidden Trove, (Note, I was asking this in the part of the server called "Price Checking") "Hey, does anyone know what this item aught to be priced at? The stats seem really good for minion builds but I can't find anyone selling anything similar" and I was told "Maybe learn to price check on your own" instead of anyone actually answering the question in the part of the server designated for price checking.
I swear to god, the culture of Tumblr and Twitter has bled so heavily into the subcultures of the world that being sassy and sarcastic is being considered a personality.
People's first impression with a stranger is going "Wow, it's almost as if-" and then saying something that makes the stranger absolutely never want to speak with them again.