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Monthly Update #11: A Recap, An Update, A Confession
3 years ago
General
Hello!
A... lot has changed for me in the past month. Nothing great short-term (been one crisis after another, lol), and yet everything great long-term (good progess made towards life and stuff, slightly-serious-lol). And I know I'll tmi it up again, so tl;dr in advance: I'm okay, university's scary, new TT character out, next TT character uncertain. Working on silly projects, in a much better headspace.
...Leave it to me to tmi a tl;dr. Whatever, let's start with the recap.
University has been... a lot. Not only the newish experience of it, but the courses itself. And, of course, some flus along the way, to really get my trauma senses going. Class started in May, and I'm only now starting to enjoy it. A break from essays probably helps with that. But through it all, I was... panicked af, but never debilitated. And I've got some decent marks back, too. I'm gonna count that as progress!
But this isn't what you wanna see. Hell, it isn't what I wanna see. You wanna see my cool writing!
Well... there isn't any. I haven't been able to write anything for my newest character. Which is why you now have a new character. That I've written.
So... context. Last year, when I took that six month panic-break, I didn't just write one character: I wrote two. And every character since, I've kept things one behind, in a backlog. It's something I bet 95% of artists and authors do, but... I'll be honest, it made me feel super cool. I put waaaay too much thought into hiding it, from writing Extended Thoughts ahead of time, to altering them based on what I'd referenced in the Monthly Update, to even super unnecessary things like describing things that are true for both the current and backlogged character. I'd be writing my description for my "new character!", and then wring my hands together with mischievous glee, knowing it was NOT my new character after all! It was a trick!! And when my commissioners would question why they've been bumped up a spot on the waitlist, I'd reveal my evil scheme, and then they'd be in on the nefarious plot!!!
...Okay, yeah, I clearly enjoyed hiding it way too much. You gotta take whatever joy you can, I guess. But I started it for two reasons. The first was for a future Patreon plan which I am very glad I didn't finalize, as there's been too much space between my characters even for the "pay per character" plan. It was mostly gonna be another sort of blog anyway, so I could bore and traumadump on you on another platform lmao #justselfloathingthings. But the second reason was what came true in the end: I wanted to hold onto a character, just in case something like last year happened again, so I'd be able to give you something. And it has happened again... but for only positive reasons this time.
I feel I keep thanking you all and apologizing with every update, and talk is cheap. So I've posted my latest character and revealed my secret to all of you, though you obviously deserve so much more for sticking around. Eventually I'll find a way to stop feeling shame for not giving you my "best" (aka: a purposefully impossible expectation; OCD's fuuuuuun), but this'll be good enough in the meantime.
And since you've tolerated this update so far, I'll let you in on even more secrets! While I haven't had any time to write characters, and barely any time to write for myself, what little time I do have has been on some fun projects! One is more endings for Monline, that TF game I showed off last Christmas. There's a lot to show there, and I'm looking forward to when it's ready! Another thing is... a passion project I've had on my mind for years, and been slowly picking away at for the past year. Nowhere near finished, but there's a fair amount in there! I won't give details just yet, but like all passion projects, it's something I'm quite proud of, it'll take a long time to finish, and it's very bad. I'll keep you all updated once it truly takes shape!
Final thoughts (they said to uproarious applause): here are my plans for writing moving forward. I'm only just starting to work on comms again, and I think I'm gonna do some reshuffling. Not on the comms, but on my schedule. Thinking of these comms as a job was good for keeping the routine, but I think I now need to resume thinking of them as the fun projects that they are. Because writing TT characters is fun, and I won't let a self-inflicted work culture ruin that, especially while I'm a full-time student. These things need to be fun, and not give me any unnecessary stress. I think that'll lower my unreasonable expectations, too: they alone won't make anything happen. If you're still sticking around, then... thank you, truly. Let's keep having fun here, eh?
Seeya next month, at the latest,
- yoshielder
A... lot has changed for me in the past month. Nothing great short-term (been one crisis after another, lol), and yet everything great long-term (good progess made towards life and stuff, slightly-serious-lol). And I know I'll tmi it up again, so tl;dr in advance: I'm okay, university's scary, new TT character out, next TT character uncertain. Working on silly projects, in a much better headspace.
...Leave it to me to tmi a tl;dr. Whatever, let's start with the recap.
University has been... a lot. Not only the newish experience of it, but the courses itself. And, of course, some flus along the way, to really get my trauma senses going. Class started in May, and I'm only now starting to enjoy it. A break from essays probably helps with that. But through it all, I was... panicked af, but never debilitated. And I've got some decent marks back, too. I'm gonna count that as progress!
But this isn't what you wanna see. Hell, it isn't what I wanna see. You wanna see my cool writing!
Well... there isn't any. I haven't been able to write anything for my newest character. Which is why you now have a new character. That I've written.
So... context. Last year, when I took that six month panic-break, I didn't just write one character: I wrote two. And every character since, I've kept things one behind, in a backlog. It's something I bet 95% of artists and authors do, but... I'll be honest, it made me feel super cool. I put waaaay too much thought into hiding it, from writing Extended Thoughts ahead of time, to altering them based on what I'd referenced in the Monthly Update, to even super unnecessary things like describing things that are true for both the current and backlogged character. I'd be writing my description for my "new character!", and then wring my hands together with mischievous glee, knowing it was NOT my new character after all! It was a trick!! And when my commissioners would question why they've been bumped up a spot on the waitlist, I'd reveal my evil scheme, and then they'd be in on the nefarious plot!!!
...Okay, yeah, I clearly enjoyed hiding it way too much. You gotta take whatever joy you can, I guess. But I started it for two reasons. The first was for a future Patreon plan which I am very glad I didn't finalize, as there's been too much space between my characters even for the "pay per character" plan. It was mostly gonna be another sort of blog anyway, so I could bore and traumadump on you on another platform lmao #justselfloathingthings. But the second reason was what came true in the end: I wanted to hold onto a character, just in case something like last year happened again, so I'd be able to give you something. And it has happened again... but for only positive reasons this time.
I feel I keep thanking you all and apologizing with every update, and talk is cheap. So I've posted my latest character and revealed my secret to all of you, though you obviously deserve so much more for sticking around. Eventually I'll find a way to stop feeling shame for not giving you my "best" (aka: a purposefully impossible expectation; OCD's fuuuuuun), but this'll be good enough in the meantime.
And since you've tolerated this update so far, I'll let you in on even more secrets! While I haven't had any time to write characters, and barely any time to write for myself, what little time I do have has been on some fun projects! One is more endings for Monline, that TF game I showed off last Christmas. There's a lot to show there, and I'm looking forward to when it's ready! Another thing is... a passion project I've had on my mind for years, and been slowly picking away at for the past year. Nowhere near finished, but there's a fair amount in there! I won't give details just yet, but like all passion projects, it's something I'm quite proud of, it'll take a long time to finish, and it's very bad. I'll keep you all updated once it truly takes shape!
Final thoughts (they said to uproarious applause): here are my plans for writing moving forward. I'm only just starting to work on comms again, and I think I'm gonna do some reshuffling. Not on the comms, but on my schedule. Thinking of these comms as a job was good for keeping the routine, but I think I now need to resume thinking of them as the fun projects that they are. Because writing TT characters is fun, and I won't let a self-inflicted work culture ruin that, especially while I'm a full-time student. These things need to be fun, and not give me any unnecessary stress. I think that'll lower my unreasonable expectations, too: they alone won't make anything happen. If you're still sticking around, then... thank you, truly. Let's keep having fun here, eh?
Seeya next month, at the latest,
- yoshielder
Hah, to be honest I really enjoyed the way that was working, it is pretty fun to be "in on it". But yeah it's probably better, I've also been discovering, to be able to work on them when you want to and when it's not just something of a chore for you. I'm sure looking forward to the next one(s), and to all the other fun ideas you've got there because honestly it's all gold and well worth waiting for. Sometimes when one looks at something one makes alone, all one can see are the flaws, but for what it's worth, only you know what that is but this is great. Really, all of this only adds to the hype, but most important of all you're having a good time with them.
Let me know if I go too hard with being supportive, I'm never sure what's an appropriate level and what makes it weird because anxiety!