FA+
Shop
My Mental Deterioration
3 years ago
Since September 2021, particularly in the last seven to eight months I've developed several new mental disorders, and the expressions of my autism have grown significantly more pronounced. I've developed a speech compulsion, causing me to talk or vocalize helplessly. I've had issues with memory, balance and coordination, word-choice and typing. I've recently come to believe that it's because of a medication I'm taking to treat my Restless Leg Syndrome.
I've been hoping it would all just 'go away' and I wouldn't have to let anyone know, but it's been long enough and caused enough trouble, I feel I have to let people know what's going on. I'm not sure how much I can control it. I'm not going to give up trying. However, I was already taking steps to correct some of these issues, and those are no-longer enough. I feel it's my responsibility to control myself and manage my own issues. I also feel I have not been able to live up to that. I don't know if I can perform socially the way I used to.
A big part of the problem is me missing signals that I'm upsetting someone or that they're uncomfortable. I've also misinterpreted things people have said to me as the opposite of what was meant. I've got a big problem with over-sharing: going on and on about things I'm interested in. It's become more difficult to realize these things are happening. My self-awareness is shot.
I hope you all are able to forgive any unintentional mistakes I've made, and will continue making. I ask that if you can, please clearly state when I'm crossing any boundary of yours, or saying something that seems offensive or out-of-character. I might not mean what I'm saying. Please don't spare my feelings out of politeness; I need feedback. Thank you.
To illustrate this, I had to ask one of my friends to proofread this for me. It was actually over a month ago? I've been procrastinating on posting this for a long time after we wrote it up, and even longer before that, procrastinating on writing it. Thanks again.
I've been hoping it would all just 'go away' and I wouldn't have to let anyone know, but it's been long enough and caused enough trouble, I feel I have to let people know what's going on. I'm not sure how much I can control it. I'm not going to give up trying. However, I was already taking steps to correct some of these issues, and those are no-longer enough. I feel it's my responsibility to control myself and manage my own issues. I also feel I have not been able to live up to that. I don't know if I can perform socially the way I used to.
A big part of the problem is me missing signals that I'm upsetting someone or that they're uncomfortable. I've also misinterpreted things people have said to me as the opposite of what was meant. I've got a big problem with over-sharing: going on and on about things I'm interested in. It's become more difficult to realize these things are happening. My self-awareness is shot.
I hope you all are able to forgive any unintentional mistakes I've made, and will continue making. I ask that if you can, please clearly state when I'm crossing any boundary of yours, or saying something that seems offensive or out-of-character. I might not mean what I'm saying. Please don't spare my feelings out of politeness; I need feedback. Thank you.
To illustrate this, I had to ask one of my friends to proofread this for me. It was actually over a month ago? I've been procrastinating on posting this for a long time after we wrote it up, and even longer before that, procrastinating on writing it. Thanks again.
I'm sure you've already tried but I hope you're able to work out something with your doctor if that's an option
For what this is worth you have not made any 'mistakes' in interacting with me that I can think of. If you were to say something I found offensive or too distasteful to deal with I would do my best to let you know that, and (to the best of my ability) why it was a problem. (The 'why' so that you would have a decent chance at avoiding a similar mistake.)
You do seem really chill and understanding. I do think you would also avoid looking past CWs on Mastodon if I was going to talk about something you didn't like, so you might miss me talking about something that would offend you if I did it openly.