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Living with Mild Autism / Social Detachment
3 years ago
I never really had the opportunity open up this much to anyone in the art and furry community until now since it gets very personal, but yes, I am mildly autistic, but I am trying to do my best to act as normal as possible without slipping up into my erratic emotional outbursts whenever I feel threatened or confronted by someone online, and then taking out my frustration on everyone else, even if it wasn't their fault. These often result in me having trust issues with a lot of people and distancing myself, even from all of my own friends. I guess I just can't control myself after all. No matter if it's in real life or online, I just can't seem to fit in with everyone and have difficulty making friends because of how I behave. Even the "freaks" think I'm a freak. It's as if I was born to be everyone's punching bag despite my talent. Everywhere I go, bad luck tends to follow, hence where I got the nickname "Bad Luck Buck." I only ended up distancing myself because I don't want to end up hurting anyone, nor do I want anyone else hurting me. These days, drawing and exploring so many art sites are my only comfort and ways of escaping this shitty reality that I have to go though everyday, but now I don't even feel safe within the art community anymore, and I feel myself slowly being crushed between two walls with no way of escaping. I just wish I could find those few people either in real life or online that I can genuinely feel comfortable to get along with, even if my chances are very narrow.
If they cannot accept you for who you are...well TOUGH SHIT FOR THEM!!!!! They don't know what they're missing and let it just be one less problem to worry about in your life. You think you got it bad as an autistic or whatever the hell they want to call us these days (I stopped giving a damn after a while) Try being a role-model to folks when you don't even want to be or try to be! It sucks while at the same time not! It's frikkin hard to describe to be honest! It has gotten to the point where I had to divide all 3 bases into 3! Good? Neutral? Evil!? NO! Good good, Neutral good, Evil good! Neutral neutral, Good neutral, and Evil neutral! Evil evil, Neutral evil, and Good evil! Get where I am going with this? probly not probably so but whatever the interpretation...just know we are different and we are unique and it is what makes us better than the rest and do not ever let anyone or anything tell you otherwise or so help I will come to you in your face at work and tell you as I have others like me and even show you how we are so!
All that wall of text and what was said should be proof enough to prove my statement just now in that wall of text and you already did so as well by posting what you have. Anyway, be seeing you around and remember...do not let the world get to you. You're better than that just like the rest of us.
Good luck out there kid