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Superficiality when it comes to sexuality.
16 years ago
General
The other day, I read the first post of a thread on Gaia. It was a pansexual who was writing about how hetero- and homosexuals are just as superficial as those who discriminate who they would have sex with based on weight. Yeah, there's a lot of threads about other threads on that forum.
Anyways, initially I found myself agreeing with the original post, but then I was browsing thread titles in that forum - as I've formed a habit of doing. Not a colloquial habit, but one that I can't seem to stop myself from doing, even though I really dislike that forum these days - and I noticed that thread's title again: "Superficiality about sexuality?" or something like that.
And when I read it, a thought flashed through my mind, not in words like thoughts usually are, just as an idea. And I will describe it below.
She's wrong. The original poster of that thread could not be more wrong. Technically, they are right in that discriminating who you'd fuck with based on gender is just as superficial as discriminating who you'd fuck with based on weight, but they're still wrong in the implication that it IS superficial.
For asexuals who like romance with any gender and pansexuals, it's not a big deal. Just fall in love with someone, if they fall in love with you then a relationship might ensue. Their sexuality doesn't prohibit a relationship; they're either not attracted to anyone, so it's not an issue, or they don't care about the other person's body, so it's not an issue.
For a lot, and I do mean a LOT of the rest of us, we enjoy sex. And unlike pansexuals and the asexuals who enjoy sex, we do care about the other person's body beyond practicality. We enjoy it with our partner or partners above others for that emotional bond it gives us with them. That act of trusting them with our kinks, our physical secrets, the things we learn we love, hate, or feel neutral about the other person that we learn during sex... These can enhance or destroy a relationship.
For those of us who need to have sex with our partner(s), it is crucial that we can look at them and enjoy even the thought of sleeping with them or visualizing them naked. If we can't, then we begin to avoid those thoughts. Sex with our partners is something we must enjoy. It's not a superficial matter for us. It's a very crucial thing toward our mutual happiness in a relationship, as much as a person's personality is for a pansexual.
This is not to say that we should ever expect to find a person with a mind or body that is perfect for us. Some of us will, but most of us will have to accept minor things which do not fit into our vision of perfection, pan- a- and hetero/bi/homosexuals alike.
It is important then that we learn to recognize what we can accept about a person, and what we cannot accept. If we cannot accept something about our partner, it is unlikely that our own personal happiness will continue. We all deserve to be happy, each and every one of us.
I think I'm done now. I'm starting to go off on tangents.
Oh, and this was not directed toward anyone in particular. : 3
Anyways, initially I found myself agreeing with the original post, but then I was browsing thread titles in that forum - as I've formed a habit of doing. Not a colloquial habit, but one that I can't seem to stop myself from doing, even though I really dislike that forum these days - and I noticed that thread's title again: "Superficiality about sexuality?" or something like that.
And when I read it, a thought flashed through my mind, not in words like thoughts usually are, just as an idea. And I will describe it below.
She's wrong. The original poster of that thread could not be more wrong. Technically, they are right in that discriminating who you'd fuck with based on gender is just as superficial as discriminating who you'd fuck with based on weight, but they're still wrong in the implication that it IS superficial.
For asexuals who like romance with any gender and pansexuals, it's not a big deal. Just fall in love with someone, if they fall in love with you then a relationship might ensue. Their sexuality doesn't prohibit a relationship; they're either not attracted to anyone, so it's not an issue, or they don't care about the other person's body, so it's not an issue.
For a lot, and I do mean a LOT of the rest of us, we enjoy sex. And unlike pansexuals and the asexuals who enjoy sex, we do care about the other person's body beyond practicality. We enjoy it with our partner or partners above others for that emotional bond it gives us with them. That act of trusting them with our kinks, our physical secrets, the things we learn we love, hate, or feel neutral about the other person that we learn during sex... These can enhance or destroy a relationship.
For those of us who need to have sex with our partner(s), it is crucial that we can look at them and enjoy even the thought of sleeping with them or visualizing them naked. If we can't, then we begin to avoid those thoughts. Sex with our partners is something we must enjoy. It's not a superficial matter for us. It's a very crucial thing toward our mutual happiness in a relationship, as much as a person's personality is for a pansexual.
This is not to say that we should ever expect to find a person with a mind or body that is perfect for us. Some of us will, but most of us will have to accept minor things which do not fit into our vision of perfection, pan- a- and hetero/bi/homosexuals alike.
It is important then that we learn to recognize what we can accept about a person, and what we cannot accept. If we cannot accept something about our partner, it is unlikely that our own personal happiness will continue. We all deserve to be happy, each and every one of us.
I think I'm done now. I'm starting to go off on tangents.
Oh, and this was not directed toward anyone in particular. : 3
I got into a serious mental groove in that journal entry. Thoughts just started flowing fluidly through my mind to the keys in a coherent and intellectually stimulating way. It was quite wonderful for me.