FA+
Shop
Pitiful Excuse
3 years ago
General
Never thought it'd be my turn to pen a vent piece explaining my inconsistency (which in and of itself is possibly the most consistent thing about me as an artist) but here I am.
A few things:
1. My dog is dying. For a while it seemed liked she might be able to pull through, and I suppose that's still possible, but my mother has come to seriously suggest that we put her down. It's not like she's even lived a full life or anything; she just slipped a disk and now she's practically done for. Every day she's been worse and worse, and unless acupuncture proves itself as the miracle cure, she's got less than 24 hours it seems.
2. My dad is an alcoholic. It took everything in me not to say, "My dad is a piece of shit drunk bastard". I mean he's not physically abusive or anything, but he's just the biggest asshole when he's drunk, and his illness it seems is not getting any better either. Today my mom collected a bunch of mini-vodka bottles that had been strewn throughout the house. It's embarrassing. I don't even want to look in his direction anymore, and it wouldn't really effect my output so dramatically if there wasn't the threat of divorce being waved over my head. It's another thing that my mom as seriously suggested.
3. A little less baggage for this one; work. Lots of it. Later evenings too, which is something I'm not used to. I like the work, mind you; I see it now as being one of few reliefs I have from this misery that is becoming my life. But with me going to bed at later and later hours due to my work, I'm struggling to adjust my schedule accordingly. I've been significantly thrown off my game. I've gone from waking up at 6 am to just stepping out of my bed at 10 am. To some that seems almost normal, but it's fucking with my psyche, since I've always taken myself for a more proactive person, which has not been the case at all in recent memory.
4. Transitioning into digital; I made a huge purchase recently. An Ipad Pro, Magic Keyboard, Apple pen, the whole kitten kaboodle. I'm doing my best to learn the ropes, but it's proving to take its dear time, just like my dad's road to sobriety. It'll most likely be a while before I'm comfortable sharing any of my digital creations publicly.
5. I'm miserable; there's been a whole bunch of extraneous changes to how my country works, and I'm not one to handle it very well. I'm afraid for our future, which is looking bleaker by the day, and I'm not coping well with this tremendous burden which has fallen into my lap. I want to be the difference maker, but I don't even know where to start. It's all too overwhelming, I just don't know what else to say. I'll either sink deeper into this pit of despair, or try and make something out of the short time we humans have left to roam the earth. Neither is particularly promising, I feel.
Sorry
-Dashie
A few things:
1. My dog is dying. For a while it seemed liked she might be able to pull through, and I suppose that's still possible, but my mother has come to seriously suggest that we put her down. It's not like she's even lived a full life or anything; she just slipped a disk and now she's practically done for. Every day she's been worse and worse, and unless acupuncture proves itself as the miracle cure, she's got less than 24 hours it seems.
2. My dad is an alcoholic. It took everything in me not to say, "My dad is a piece of shit drunk bastard". I mean he's not physically abusive or anything, but he's just the biggest asshole when he's drunk, and his illness it seems is not getting any better either. Today my mom collected a bunch of mini-vodka bottles that had been strewn throughout the house. It's embarrassing. I don't even want to look in his direction anymore, and it wouldn't really effect my output so dramatically if there wasn't the threat of divorce being waved over my head. It's another thing that my mom as seriously suggested.
3. A little less baggage for this one; work. Lots of it. Later evenings too, which is something I'm not used to. I like the work, mind you; I see it now as being one of few reliefs I have from this misery that is becoming my life. But with me going to bed at later and later hours due to my work, I'm struggling to adjust my schedule accordingly. I've been significantly thrown off my game. I've gone from waking up at 6 am to just stepping out of my bed at 10 am. To some that seems almost normal, but it's fucking with my psyche, since I've always taken myself for a more proactive person, which has not been the case at all in recent memory.
4. Transitioning into digital; I made a huge purchase recently. An Ipad Pro, Magic Keyboard, Apple pen, the whole kitten kaboodle. I'm doing my best to learn the ropes, but it's proving to take its dear time, just like my dad's road to sobriety. It'll most likely be a while before I'm comfortable sharing any of my digital creations publicly.
5. I'm miserable; there's been a whole bunch of extraneous changes to how my country works, and I'm not one to handle it very well. I'm afraid for our future, which is looking bleaker by the day, and I'm not coping well with this tremendous burden which has fallen into my lap. I want to be the difference maker, but I don't even know where to start. It's all too overwhelming, I just don't know what else to say. I'll either sink deeper into this pit of despair, or try and make something out of the short time we humans have left to roam the earth. Neither is particularly promising, I feel.
Sorry
-Dashie
NuclearWalnut
~nuclearwalnut
oh geez im sorry to hear all that's been going on
MooseGoose
~burnbabe1987
My dad is similar, but my parents split up right before covid began. He's kinda a prick when he's drunk, but he drinks cheap beer, so much so that there's a pile near the door. However he's usually better up until 7, and really nice on Sunday since it's his off day from work, though I usually go to my mom's in the morning so that helps.
