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[RANT/VENT] i'm incredibly depressed and can't talk about...
3 years ago
The doctor is here.
commissions price sheet
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57044840/
Buy me a coffee, if you would like!(ko-fi)
comprame un cafecito, si queres!(cafecito)
YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)
YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)
YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)
YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)
it feels like life is fucking me in the most non consensual violent way and I have no safe word for real.
Following the patient abandonment my psychiatrists did several years ago I had to make do with 1 random psych doing me a paper to get my same prescription of 15 years ago every month
but every psychiatric medication I need to take has became import only
so now we have to pay it with the import price and costs, its at this point impossible. so I have to cold turkey every psych med which my body has developed a severe addiction to during the years of this uncontrolled prescription that has been also fucking up my liver
thankfully the city has still some reserves of quetiapine.. but honestly, if a withdrawal of 1 med is horrible to go trough, dealing with most of them at once will be hell.. and if I have to deal with quetiapine withdrawal, which is the most hardcore one I'm taking... i am honestly deathly afraid.
i do not know how down I can fall, and I do not trust myself not ending up with my arms shredded bleeding everywhere yet again.
i had been not capable of getting the import breathing medicine for over a month now, every day is an asthma attack that will not end, I had been burning through salbutamol inhalers like crazy.. which often lead to tachycardia and passing out, just to relieve a bit of the effort I have to do to breathe 1 time.
that and nobody helps me clean my bedroom, I do what I can on my own, but its still little to nothing when you have to take stuff that you love that is full of memories and given by people who is no longer with you, and toss it to the trash and burn it.
i feel incapable of everything
today I went to buy food for around 2 days of the week.
my full shopping list?
-2 instant rice (2 servings each)
-2 cans of beer
-2 cans of energy drink
-2 bottles of juice (last me around 1 week, I drink only around 4 liters of liquid per week)
I did however fuckup and bought an extra:
-1 box of tea bags
-2 soy 'meat' bags of 250g
I paid almost 5700 pesos
EVERY DAY EVERYTHING INCREASES PRICE IN A RIDICULOUS AMMOUNT
WE CANNOT EVEN GATHER MONEY TO MOVE OUT BECAUSE IS EITHER SAVING FOR A PLANE TICKET OR KEEPING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FED.
AND I HAVE NO JOB, AND I CANNOT APPLY FOR ANY JOB BECAUSE THERE IS NONE
AND IF THERE IS ONE THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT ME FOR BEING DISABLED
I am not even getting government help for being disabled. and if you want one of the new 'emergency money' plans the government gives, you need to have at least 1 child. or be pregnant. what, you are disabled and wanna apply for one? get pregnant or you wont get shit. what if you cannot have children?
Most of the people around here live out of those absurd government plans, they pay you more than a doctor working 24/7 in 2 different hospitals or a teacher working in 2 schools per day. 90.000 pesos per month just for constantly having children like if you were a rabbit or a rat.
life is shit
it is worse when you have no future at all. and everything reminds you of it constantly.
i hate myself, I hate my life, I hate being alive I hate everything I want to die but I am too scared of death to off myself
and I have nowhere to dump a rant because whenever I do it I lose followers in whatever media I am posting my rants on.
so I am terribly sorry if you sat here and wasted like 3 minutes of your life reading this useless failure of a living being whine about how much everything is shit.
you were warned tho, this is a rant, I have several warnings everywhere
so if you want to unwatch me for ranting even when I warned everywhere that I do this. well that's a little bit of a dick move isn't it?
I'm sorry for everything
sorry for existing.
please take care.
have a lovely day♥
Check my redbubble!
prices and details
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57044840/
US week
Monday - lunes --- Can draw
Tuesday - martes --- can draw
Wednesday - miércoles ---- Busy day
Thursday - jueves --- Busy day
Friday - viernes --- Busy day
US Weekend
Saturday - sábado --- Day to rest
Sunday - domingo ---- day to rest
.
Check my redbubble!
prices and details
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57044840/
- - - - -
together for like over 15 years
- - WEEK SCHEDULE (2024)- -
http://www.furaffinity.net/commissi.....s/shadowmeere/
US week
Monday - lunes --- Can draw
Tuesday - martes --- can draw
Wednesday - miércoles ---- Busy day
Thursday - jueves --- Busy day
Friday - viernes --- Busy day
US Weekend
Saturday - sábado --- Day to rest
Sunday - domingo ---- day to rest
.
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