Do I keep uploading my commissions to this account or do I start moving them to a new FA account for commissions, merch, and possible patreon?

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Hi My name is doubledee,

I'm gonna show you how crazy my adult ADHD brain is and write straight from the heart. This could either go really bad or really good but I think it's time I talk about where I am in my life. If for anyone to myself and I guess to anyone who still reads these things or gives a shit about me. I guess shit is passive-aggressive microaggression but I'll keep that in there because, to be honest, that's kind of who I am now. Well for now. I think it's just been the whole situation that is my life. I'm not happy in Texas anymore. I really really want to move. Like I need to move, the dream is to go to Washington but I just wanna be anywhere that isn't specifically the same state that Ted lives in. The guns, the lack of women's healthcare, healthcare, and jobs are shit, I'm shit for living here, and honestly, there's nothing really keeping me here except my boyfriend. I have no family. That matters.

So I want to start working towards that dream. Of getting the fuck out of here. Of being an artist that can take their drawing tablet to a coffee shop or cafe, of being able to camp, go fishing, go on a hike, get eaten by a bear, some cool shit. I wanna do cool shit with my life. And it sucks that it took me my 20s to get to this conclusion. However, I've realized that I'm gonna get off my ass and brain stump and try to find some help. Because of the lack of healthcare I have, because of my mental health and physical health, I'm gonna need help. To get better. To get to that dream. Make it my own reality. But I need help. I need someone I can actually trust, that has the time, or patience to help me get a Patreon, social media, and my priorities straight. Because my partner works full time, I'm mentally incapable of lists, and I just wanna create. I just want to be the artist.

To really make it now, at least for me in my opinion. You have to work so hard to make ends meet. If you want to be a successful artist, at least my definition of a successful artist, you have to market yourself in some way to some audience to make money. I'm visually smart, but I can't describe to you how in awe I am of artists that set up their postybirds, content creating, run a social media, a Patreon, or a discord server, and make cute images, emojis, banners, advertisements, YCHS, WIPS. I have so many tabs open of things I need to do, to make a custom carrd, I have been overwhelmed. My unemployment means I have to keep paying for things, so I have to keep taking commissions when all I really want to do is take a break and not feel overwhelmed. And it hits me to my core every time I feel like a failure because I've experienced it so much in my life.

I can't imagine managing.

BUT, I want to. I want to start managing my life, my artist way, but fuck. I am not complaining but if I come off that way it's just like holy shit that's a lot of laundries to do. Indeed I do have a shit ton of laundry to do and procrastination is literally my middle name now. I literally just procrastinated finishing this very important yet very meaningless journal but should I?

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Do you think I can do it? Do you think I should? I owe art. I can do it, or raise money for refunds I just want a clean slate. New start. A fucking life.