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Story Commission Status -- Life Revelations
3 years ago
Hamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: Otter John – PAID & PRIORITIZED – ‘Part 4’ draft complete. Story nearly complete!
2:
silverkitty - PAID & PRIORITIZED –preparing to start ‘Part 3’.
3:
leonXIII - Starting ‘Part 3’
4:
littlebeararnold - Revised ‘Part 1’ and sent ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’ for approval.
5:
landonbay - Gathering information for initial draft
FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.
A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/
The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/
A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/
An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/
HOW TO COMMISSION YOUR STORY:
Rates for all story commissions are $50 with no word limit.
I am a versatile writer of ‘Slice of Life’, ‘Fantasy’, and/or ‘Science Fiction’ stories. Please send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a slot. Please note that I do ‘not’ do ‘Dark’, ‘Horror’, or ‘Tragedy’’. ‘Porn’ / ‘Nudity’ and/or ‘Adult Themes’ can be discussed. However, as I’ve tried all these genres to some extent, they are far from my comfort zone while not being what I can write with satisfactory success.
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
The Since the last journal update, I have been deeply considering how I can best interact with the world around me. The following is a summary of my ill-fated attempts to vicariously live my lost life with eyesight through those closest to me…
***
Since losing all my eyesight at the end of 2016, I have selfishly tried to live vicariously through others to enjoy movies, shows, books, and video games.
The first time I let this get out of control was in 2019. My son, Peep, showed a strong interest in playing Doom: Eternal and he even insisted on playing it from start-to-finish with me sitting alongside him. Doom was a major influence for me during my teenage years. It became especially relevant when I learned how to use the DOS-based Doom Creation Kit (DCK) to create my own levels that I would test to ensure they were doable before having my friends give them a go. Being able to make genuine levels for such a big game, along with its medieval counterpart, Heretic, renewed my hope in, one day, being a part of video game development.
Back to Peep, he totally dominated Doom: Eternal in less than 48 hours! He seemed so excited and, because of this, I wasted no time in buying the DLC for the forthcoming expansion, The Ancient Gods[/i]. However, to my dismay, he had no interest in playing it.
Thinking Peep may like to play some of the other Doom games, I bought the Doom: Slayer’s Collection for him to play. It had the games I was so proud to have finished fairly on ‘Ultra Violence’, which were Ultimate Doom and Doom 2: Hell On Earth, along with Doom: 2016 and Doom 64. The cost for all of these was approximately the same as buying the DLC for The Ancient Gods collection, but it was barely touched and left me feeling empty for having assumed my son would want to play such games with me.
***
Peep asked me to help him buy Animal Crossing: New Horizons during Summer 2019. I was reluctant as, before Tina Bear left me, I had used Animal Crossing: New Leaf to try and get her to relax when she would normally just be all moody before bed. It worked, but my ex-wife wasted no time in letting me know how she didn’t really enjoy Animal Crossing shortly after she left me.
Well, hoping to turn over a ‘New Leaf’ myself, I agreed to buy him the digital copy of AC:NH. It was less than a month later that Peep told me that his friends, who said they were going to play it with him, did not do so. I asked if he would play it with me and he had already moved on to Apex: Legends.
***
I continued to feel myself falling out of touch with those things I enjoyed before losing all of my eyesight. Peep was also spending less time with me and more time, whether he wanted to, or not, with his mother. He no longer enjoyed going for walks with me and our shared game of Pokémon: Go! was turning into more of an annoyance than a fun Father / son activity.
***
Feeling like I was losing any relevance as Peep’s father while also being forced out of another job due to technology being ‘updated’ to where my text-to-speech / screen reading software made doing my Customer Service job impossible, I begged Peep to do some visual activities with me. This lead me purchasing Spyro: The Reignited Trilogy and Super Mario 3D All-Stars. The outcome was finding my son had no real interest in either and was trying to help me feel happy.
***
2021 was another year where, as I had yet to really get a clue after previous attempts, I tried investing in movies on ‘Prime Video’ and ‘Apple TV’ to watch with my son. We got through nearly all of Duck tales: 2017 first season, but he lost interest. This trned continued for other media I thought we could enjoy together that just was not meant to be.
***
2022 has been the year where I FINALLY understand that there is no ‘going back’ to what was before I lost all of my physical eyesight. I even made the mistake of trying to get ‘Papa Lucca’ to play video games that I selfishly acquired for him to play without genuinely considering if he would really want to play them.
***
What have I gained from coming to terms of how my life must be now that I am totally blind? The knowledge that I could really save a lot of money by NOT investing in those things I require someone else to serve as a proxy in order for me to enjoy them. Papa Lucca has found lots of fun shows that are free with our ‘Basic level’ streaming subscriptions to enjoy and I am content not bullying him to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons in any other way than exactly what he wants to play it.
So, going forward, any extra money I can get from story writing, genuine employment, etc. will be put towards the following…
1: Diapers – Not a surprise as I have truly found wearing them helps me reduce a lot of the psychological stress that can build from overthinking those things I really should not be putting so much time and energy into.
2: Home Remodeling – Papa Lucca has been doing great in modifying the house to be one we can both feel happy with. He is using wonderful colors to bring out our plush collections while ensuring our bond is equally noticeable in those rooms that we most frequent. (I may not be able to physically see what Lucca is doing, but I definitely ‘see’ through his words / descriptions.).
3: Outdoor Fun – Papa Lucca is with me on putting a small pond in our yard to coax ducks, along with other birdy buddies, to be a part of our little plot of land.
4: Upcoming Repairs – It is likely we will need a new roof in the next 5 to 10 years. We also want to remodel the attic to be an extra room for someone to possibly stay in.
5: Random & Relevant Merch – There are a few My Little Pony: Fairy Tails Birds I would like to get for display in our shared collection. I also want to help Lucca, when able, to get back some of those treasures he had unfairly lost due to circumstances beyond his control while working to pursue a life free of emotional abuse.
Thanks for reading! Have a ducky of a day!
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky 😉
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: Otter John – PAID & PRIORITIZED – ‘Part 4’ draft complete. Story nearly complete!
2:
silverkitty - PAID & PRIORITIZED –preparing to start ‘Part 3’.3:
leonXIII - Starting ‘Part 3’4:
littlebeararnold - Revised ‘Part 1’ and sent ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’ for approval.5:
landonbay - Gathering information for initial draftFINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.
A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/
The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/
A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/
An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/
HOW TO COMMISSION YOUR STORY:
Rates for all story commissions are $50 with no word limit.
I am a versatile writer of ‘Slice of Life’, ‘Fantasy’, and/or ‘Science Fiction’ stories. Please send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a slot. Please note that I do ‘not’ do ‘Dark’, ‘Horror’, or ‘Tragedy’’. ‘Porn’ / ‘Nudity’ and/or ‘Adult Themes’ can be discussed. However, as I’ve tried all these genres to some extent, they are far from my comfort zone while not being what I can write with satisfactory success.
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
The Since the last journal update, I have been deeply considering how I can best interact with the world around me. The following is a summary of my ill-fated attempts to vicariously live my lost life with eyesight through those closest to me…
***
Since losing all my eyesight at the end of 2016, I have selfishly tried to live vicariously through others to enjoy movies, shows, books, and video games.
The first time I let this get out of control was in 2019. My son, Peep, showed a strong interest in playing Doom: Eternal and he even insisted on playing it from start-to-finish with me sitting alongside him. Doom was a major influence for me during my teenage years. It became especially relevant when I learned how to use the DOS-based Doom Creation Kit (DCK) to create my own levels that I would test to ensure they were doable before having my friends give them a go. Being able to make genuine levels for such a big game, along with its medieval counterpart, Heretic, renewed my hope in, one day, being a part of video game development.
Back to Peep, he totally dominated Doom: Eternal in less than 48 hours! He seemed so excited and, because of this, I wasted no time in buying the DLC for the forthcoming expansion, The Ancient Gods[/i]. However, to my dismay, he had no interest in playing it.
Thinking Peep may like to play some of the other Doom games, I bought the Doom: Slayer’s Collection for him to play. It had the games I was so proud to have finished fairly on ‘Ultra Violence’, which were Ultimate Doom and Doom 2: Hell On Earth, along with Doom: 2016 and Doom 64. The cost for all of these was approximately the same as buying the DLC for The Ancient Gods collection, but it was barely touched and left me feeling empty for having assumed my son would want to play such games with me.
***
Peep asked me to help him buy Animal Crossing: New Horizons during Summer 2019. I was reluctant as, before Tina Bear left me, I had used Animal Crossing: New Leaf to try and get her to relax when she would normally just be all moody before bed. It worked, but my ex-wife wasted no time in letting me know how she didn’t really enjoy Animal Crossing shortly after she left me.
Well, hoping to turn over a ‘New Leaf’ myself, I agreed to buy him the digital copy of AC:NH. It was less than a month later that Peep told me that his friends, who said they were going to play it with him, did not do so. I asked if he would play it with me and he had already moved on to Apex: Legends.
***
I continued to feel myself falling out of touch with those things I enjoyed before losing all of my eyesight. Peep was also spending less time with me and more time, whether he wanted to, or not, with his mother. He no longer enjoyed going for walks with me and our shared game of Pokémon: Go! was turning into more of an annoyance than a fun Father / son activity.
***
Feeling like I was losing any relevance as Peep’s father while also being forced out of another job due to technology being ‘updated’ to where my text-to-speech / screen reading software made doing my Customer Service job impossible, I begged Peep to do some visual activities with me. This lead me purchasing Spyro: The Reignited Trilogy and Super Mario 3D All-Stars. The outcome was finding my son had no real interest in either and was trying to help me feel happy.
***
2021 was another year where, as I had yet to really get a clue after previous attempts, I tried investing in movies on ‘Prime Video’ and ‘Apple TV’ to watch with my son. We got through nearly all of Duck tales: 2017 first season, but he lost interest. This trned continued for other media I thought we could enjoy together that just was not meant to be.
***
2022 has been the year where I FINALLY understand that there is no ‘going back’ to what was before I lost all of my physical eyesight. I even made the mistake of trying to get ‘Papa Lucca’ to play video games that I selfishly acquired for him to play without genuinely considering if he would really want to play them.
***
What have I gained from coming to terms of how my life must be now that I am totally blind? The knowledge that I could really save a lot of money by NOT investing in those things I require someone else to serve as a proxy in order for me to enjoy them. Papa Lucca has found lots of fun shows that are free with our ‘Basic level’ streaming subscriptions to enjoy and I am content not bullying him to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons in any other way than exactly what he wants to play it.
So, going forward, any extra money I can get from story writing, genuine employment, etc. will be put towards the following…
1: Diapers – Not a surprise as I have truly found wearing them helps me reduce a lot of the psychological stress that can build from overthinking those things I really should not be putting so much time and energy into.
2: Home Remodeling – Papa Lucca has been doing great in modifying the house to be one we can both feel happy with. He is using wonderful colors to bring out our plush collections while ensuring our bond is equally noticeable in those rooms that we most frequent. (I may not be able to physically see what Lucca is doing, but I definitely ‘see’ through his words / descriptions.).
3: Outdoor Fun – Papa Lucca is with me on putting a small pond in our yard to coax ducks, along with other birdy buddies, to be a part of our little plot of land.
4: Upcoming Repairs – It is likely we will need a new roof in the next 5 to 10 years. We also want to remodel the attic to be an extra room for someone to possibly stay in.
5: Random & Relevant Merch – There are a few My Little Pony: Fairy Tails Birds I would like to get for display in our shared collection. I also want to help Lucca, when able, to get back some of those treasures he had unfairly lost due to circumstances beyond his control while working to pursue a life free of emotional abuse.
Thanks for reading! Have a ducky of a day!
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky 😉
And it's not selfish to ask for some accommodations. You can't see, that's just how it is. A door is an accommodation for not being to fly through a window.
It might be a good idea to discuss with Lucca before hand what sort of games or whatever he /would/ like to play through as a couple. Ditto for Peep.
And yes, couples don't have to do everything together, it's not unreasonable to ask for some compromises. Like, I wasn't a super big fan of American Idol, but I watched it with my wife because what was also important was spending some time together.
Kind of like buying something at a garage sale, or thrift shop, you may find that something is missing, damaged, etc. This applies to how I defined myself and it is impossible to be anything beyond 'broken' if you do not seek to find creative ways to make customized repairs without the use of previously available materials. (For example, taking good parts from a broken dresser to make a more usable dresser more accessible.).
We are steeped in the culture of ableism that surrounds us, from the benign to the malicious. It's gonna be impossible to not internalize some ableist thoughts. Hell, just this past week, I stupidly insisted on walking almost 19 block in NYC summer humidity because I'd gotten it in my head that since my partner didn't mention taking the subway and offhandedly mentioned that walking to the show venue would be good because it meant we wouldn't be getting there too early and twisted it in my head to mean "well, obviously if I ask to take a cab or the subway he'll be disappointed" until we were 5 blocks away and he had to point out that he didn't want me miserable, that he didn't feel held back by me or anything.
So with that said, I want to remind you. You are not an incomplete person. You are not broken. You are ALL good parts, buddy
***
I want to, as I get more stable with commissions, work on a concept that follows my personal research of how society teaches diversity, sensitivity, and self-esteem during our early years before making a gradual shift to prejudice, fear, and self-doubt over if you 'measure up' to expectations grounded in outdated beliefs.
More on this later.
***
I need to arrange a time to call you, or at least write a long letter, when Lucca and i aren't scampering to-and-fro.
I think you have already passed that stage from what you have just mentioned. I also realized that you tried to "see the world through others", maybe you should instead try to enjoy the world with them and also, to find your own way to "see the world". For example, my brother plays some games that I have not a single idea how they are played, but when he visits me I sit next to him so he can tell me about the game, its mechanics, why it is fun, his strategies and more. Maybe you can try that (if you haven't done that already) with your son. In other example, my mother usually watches a lot of movies and series in which I'm not interested at all, and she sometimes tells me about them at lunch, you could also try something like that too if you want. You may be surprised of how much people likes to talk about the stuff they like, for example, I don't have anyone to speak about the things I like, and I feel really warm when someone wants to hear me talking about it.
It is also nice how you have focused your budget in things that makes you happier through other sensations than seeing, like diapers and other activities. Have also thought in audio books? I know there are some nice subscription services, or ways to buy cheap audio books (you can even listen them in Youtube) and there is a really nice way to enjoy things like movies or videogames in another way. There is even a Fimfiction group where there are listed the stories with audio, you may like that too.
I feel that probably this message was pointless since I'm telling you a lot of stuff you already may know.... But anyways, I hope you find something useful in there!
***
I would be lying if I forgot to mention how much I enjoy hearing about those things that interest you, too. I really need to make sure I do not focus all my time on story commissions. It is good to get the work done, but I also find positivity and motivation through our discussions.
***
Thanks for being a great friend, Sweetie! *Snugs* You are the best!
***
A good question to ask yourself is, "What makes me special / unique?". The first response that may come to you is that there is nothing that makes you uniquely different from anybody else. The next response that may come to you is, "There are so many other people out there who are better than me.".
I fought with these initial responses for a long time. I would be lying if I did not say I still felt these particular feelings when it comes to who I am, what I want to be, and how I am worth being a part of the lives of others.
For me, what helps to go beyond these negative reactions is taking a moment to imagine yourself as someone else. For example, what do you think makes me feel you are a great friend to whom I draw inspiration and positivity from? What is it that I, and others, see you doing that has us spending time with you instead of the many others who may do very similar kinds of creative content?
You may not initially feel there is any reason that makes you someone I enjoy spending my time with. This is why I will tell you that it was how well you express your love for not only MLP: FiM, but also for the artistic process itself. I may not have physical eyesight, but I could feel your art through your words. You are the very first, and still most worth mentioning, person to post art that, even without ever seeing your style before having gone 100% blind, I 'know' to be good just by what I 'feel' when I read what you have to say about each art and story commission you post.
The other special ability you have from others who do your kind of work that makes me choose you over anyone else is the way in which you respond to my comments and letters. It may not seem all that special to you, because you are just being yourself, but 'being yourself' is the way I really enjoy interacting with other people. I know I can talk too much most of the time, as is evident by this reply, but I like what you feel worth sharing with me and it makes me very happy that you allow me to create stories for your art based on just your descriptions and what visual memories I have of MLP: FiM along other characters you have drawn.
***
I am sure you have reasons that you feel taking time out of your day to write to me, read my stories, and follow my journals is better than doing so with someone else. What is most important is knowing how 'you', as does everyone else within our artistic community, has one, or more, qualities about them that others, like myself, find appealing enough to see you as both a content creator along with as someone who makes for a great friend. *Snugs*