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A serious journal. [TW: Dental]
3 years ago
Hello viewers.
I'd say it has been a while, but I think I mean it more in terms of a proper journal update.
A good... seven-ish months ago? I discovered I had a dental infection. Two teeth right in that area were the cause of it - one being a very damaged wisdom tooth that I hadn't gotten around to, and the one right beside it consisting of a very old metal filling.
Today, I had five teeth removed. It's a funny ol' story.
When they looked at things back then, the plan was simple: remove the wisdom tooth, and possibly the metal filled tooth, and hope that curbed the infection.
Simple on paper, but a nightmare in reality.
I had three visits to the local oral health clinic. Each time I should've had things sorted out, but when you've been on a mental health fix for over twelve months, hidden 'gems' come out of the woodwork and mess up your plans.
I broke down the first time, and they didn't even get into the extraction.
The second time, they gave me two jabs of local into my gum area and I had such a spiked heart rate my hands wouldn't stop shaking.
The third time, I just knew it wouldn't work in just the chair.
By this point, they knew it would need to bump up to a serious option, and with a discussion between I and them, we determined that surgery would be the best and safest route. It would also mean that I could have several extra teeth removed at the same time: a wisdom tooth on my lower right, that was coming in at an angle; the tooth directly next to it, not completely impacted, but basically stuck; a hidden wisdom tooth on my upper right that was fully encapsulated in gum; and lastly, an eye tooth that hadn't grown in the proper location, and was in fact above my teeth.
During this entire period, the infection had flared a few times, and made things irksome, but luckily antibiotics helped curb it when it did.
In May, I was due for the surgery. I caught COVID two days prior, and had to reschedule. The week after I had quarantined, the infection flared back up. Suuper bummer of two weeks.
The next month, they had to reschedule because of a staff shortage, and a higher priority surgery that needed the anaesthesiologist.
July I finally made it in to the hospital for the surgery.
Despite two doses of temazepam, or something similar, to help my nerves and my anxiety, I broke again. I broke harder and worse than I'd ever considered could happen.
I was incognizant of the questions being asked of me, and I couldn't make any answers. As soon as I was on the bed, I got worse. Both my hands were shaking, and I reached a point where I almost tried to climb out.
A funny thing, mental health. When I was far far younger, I had no issues with dental appointments. But in my adult years, I grew.. different. I suddenly didn't enjoy the dentist; I would be incredibly slack in routine check-ups, and I could never figure out why.
As I was driven home that day, I was just an emotional wreck. I hated my cowardice, my lack of knowing or understanding why I felt scared, and overall I was in fear of never being able to have this procedure done.
The 25th of August (technically yesterday for my timezone), I somehow succeeded.
Whether it being a physical form that was incredibly tired, or the supportive medication that kept me relaxed enough, I somehow pulled through. I was communicative, I was jovial in parts, and once I was prepped and in, I woke.
It was all in an instant for me. A non-cognitive, blissful instant for me. I had survived.
Right now, I'm still numb and swollen. Right now, I feel tired. I have had only a small bit of water here and there, because my body is doing the smart thing of holding back any appetite until I know it will be safe.
I figured I would type this out while I was just functional enough. Maybe as a reminder for myself; maybe to help those that are struggling with their own issues.
I regret how long it took, but I knew it was waiting for the right moment.
But I am so grateful it worked out as it did. Maybe I'll determine what really caused this fear/anxiety/phobia, and work on that as well. For now, it's time for some sick leave and relaxation.
Maybe some yogurt in the morning. As a treat.
Thank you for reading, if you did.
I'd say it has been a while, but I think I mean it more in terms of a proper journal update.
A good... seven-ish months ago? I discovered I had a dental infection. Two teeth right in that area were the cause of it - one being a very damaged wisdom tooth that I hadn't gotten around to, and the one right beside it consisting of a very old metal filling.
Today, I had five teeth removed. It's a funny ol' story.
When they looked at things back then, the plan was simple: remove the wisdom tooth, and possibly the metal filled tooth, and hope that curbed the infection.
Simple on paper, but a nightmare in reality.
I had three visits to the local oral health clinic. Each time I should've had things sorted out, but when you've been on a mental health fix for over twelve months, hidden 'gems' come out of the woodwork and mess up your plans.
I broke down the first time, and they didn't even get into the extraction.
The second time, they gave me two jabs of local into my gum area and I had such a spiked heart rate my hands wouldn't stop shaking.
The third time, I just knew it wouldn't work in just the chair.
By this point, they knew it would need to bump up to a serious option, and with a discussion between I and them, we determined that surgery would be the best and safest route. It would also mean that I could have several extra teeth removed at the same time: a wisdom tooth on my lower right, that was coming in at an angle; the tooth directly next to it, not completely impacted, but basically stuck; a hidden wisdom tooth on my upper right that was fully encapsulated in gum; and lastly, an eye tooth that hadn't grown in the proper location, and was in fact above my teeth.
During this entire period, the infection had flared a few times, and made things irksome, but luckily antibiotics helped curb it when it did.
In May, I was due for the surgery. I caught COVID two days prior, and had to reschedule. The week after I had quarantined, the infection flared back up. Suuper bummer of two weeks.
The next month, they had to reschedule because of a staff shortage, and a higher priority surgery that needed the anaesthesiologist.
July I finally made it in to the hospital for the surgery.
Despite two doses of temazepam, or something similar, to help my nerves and my anxiety, I broke again. I broke harder and worse than I'd ever considered could happen.
I was incognizant of the questions being asked of me, and I couldn't make any answers. As soon as I was on the bed, I got worse. Both my hands were shaking, and I reached a point where I almost tried to climb out.
A funny thing, mental health. When I was far far younger, I had no issues with dental appointments. But in my adult years, I grew.. different. I suddenly didn't enjoy the dentist; I would be incredibly slack in routine check-ups, and I could never figure out why.
As I was driven home that day, I was just an emotional wreck. I hated my cowardice, my lack of knowing or understanding why I felt scared, and overall I was in fear of never being able to have this procedure done.
The 25th of August (technically yesterday for my timezone), I somehow succeeded.
Whether it being a physical form that was incredibly tired, or the supportive medication that kept me relaxed enough, I somehow pulled through. I was communicative, I was jovial in parts, and once I was prepped and in, I woke.
It was all in an instant for me. A non-cognitive, blissful instant for me. I had survived.
Right now, I'm still numb and swollen. Right now, I feel tired. I have had only a small bit of water here and there, because my body is doing the smart thing of holding back any appetite until I know it will be safe.
I figured I would type this out while I was just functional enough. Maybe as a reminder for myself; maybe to help those that are struggling with their own issues.
I regret how long it took, but I knew it was waiting for the right moment.
But I am so grateful it worked out as it did. Maybe I'll determine what really caused this fear/anxiety/phobia, and work on that as well. For now, it's time for some sick leave and relaxation.
Maybe some yogurt in the morning. As a treat.
Thank you for reading, if you did.
