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Pre-Surgery Story Commissions & Quacking Out Stress
3 years ago
hOI!!!!!!
Some story updates along with giving myself a longer time on the proverbial ‘changing table’ to work through some of the things that have been making me feel a bit messy in the head.
First off is story commission status! Woop!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
silverkittie - Final draft sent for approval.
2:
leonXIII - Starting ‘Part 9’ of 11.
3:
littlebeararnold - Starting ‘Part 4’.
4:
nishi - Starting 'Part 1'.
5:
landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.
EMERGENCY COMMISSION SPOTS:
10 Slots Available
$40 per story. Seeking to raise $400 to cover expenses needed to best prepare for forthcoming surgery in late September, or early October.
EMERGENCY eBAY SALES:
https://www.ebay.com/sch/yoshiducky.....pg=&_from=
Another way that Lucca and I are trying to raise over $400 to best prepare for my fo* Feel free to make offers and inquire if you may be seeking other collectables.
* I have Neopets complete trading card game (TCG) sets along with complete sets of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic trading cards, which include foil variants. I also have collections of single cards of all rarity types for ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’. (I would ideally like $100 for each of the complete card set and $50 for each of the ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’ collections. However, given the upcoming surgery, I’m open to offers and inquiries.).
I have some ‘’G3 – My Little Pony’ plastic figures for Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and others who could use a new home for a reasonable donation plus shipping costs.
STORY COMMISSIONS:
Please write me a private message (PM) with any questions you may have about placing yourself in my story commission que. All stories are $with NO limit on word count. (Most stories I finish run between 2,500 and 3,000 words.).
Examples of recent story commissions I have finished can be provided. (Links for these stories will return in the next journal update, which is coming soon with a new commission to check out!).
SECURE YOUR SPOT / DONATE:
Palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com
The above is how to pay your $40 to guarantee your spot in the commission queue. (Donations are welcome, but not necessary.).
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
The following summaries of overwhelming thoughts make for one heck of a mess to clean up. Please know that I write these to serve as a personal ‘sounding board’ to help me better get a grip on my emotions while, for those who may read, offer some insights in how we all endure difficult times that, through the creative arts, we can process, better understand , and not allow them to take away from permitting ourselves to be happy over miserable.
1: No Jobs For Blind Men:
A pun based on the movie title from a few years ago, but quite fitting to simplify how it has truly proved to be an effort in futility to find a job working within the public, or private, sector.
You hear how jobs are everywhere and how people “Just don’t want to work!”. Well, I am here to tell you that this is far from the case for those of us who are afflicted by physical and/or psychological disabilities.
Ever since 2006, which is one year after acquiring my Masters Degree in business Administration, I have done everything possible to adapt myself to whatever workplace I managed to get myself into. The frightening part is how it has always been ‘my responsibility’ to figure out how to do a job that became difficult, or impossible, for me to do as a result of my eyesight worsening, becoming 100% blind, or organizational change that eliminated compatible systems in which I could genuinely interact with using the most current versions of Accessible Hardware & Software.
Every job I have ever held since 2006 has been lost as a result of organizational change that negated my ability to meet my day-to-day work duties. The employer may have tried one thing, or removed job responsibilities entirely, before taking an approach that was designed to create a toxic working environment that got increasingly psychologically abusive until I was left with no other choice but to quit my job. (Quitting means the company does NOT have any obligation to pay for Unemployment Compensation (UC) benefits. It also makes it awkward when you are asked the dreaded, “Why did you leave your last employer?” question during a job interview.).
This year, I attempted to find work in multiple places within private and public organizations. The first opportunity was seconds away from being offered to me until, somehow, they forgot I had a ‘Seeing Eye Dog’. The hiring manager informed me that they needed to make sure the presence of my dog was not detrimental to the clientele they served. However, despite saying they’d follow up with me the following day, I never got a call back. I tried calling to check on the status of the job offer on a bi-weekly interval until it was beyond apparent I was passed over for the job.
The second job was one I did get hired for. My start date was at the end of February. However, I was not able to interact with the third-party software the city department used for keeping track of its records. I was brought in again in April to try a variant of the third-party software that ‘kind of’ worked, but not enough to perform the essential job responsibilities. In May, the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR) Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS) helped me to have a certified Accessibility Technology Specialist (AT) come in to perform a full evaluation of the job. It was then that the evaluator shared how it was not feasible for me to do the day-to-day interactions with the public, which was part of my job, while also talking on how the third-party vendor needed to still make some updates in order for me to be able to interact with it. This ended my employed, but never worked a single hour, job with the city.
In June, I interviewed for a job working for an insurance broker. This opportunity quickly ended when I was asked about how well I could use a filing cabinet. I ‘can’ use one with a combination of blind-friendly hardware and software. The trouble is how such tools are not fast enough to perform the necessary job functions to the required expectations of the organization’s customers. So, with the least amount of surprise and loads of knowing this was another dead end, I did what I could to show I was open for other opportunities. None came.
While the above was going on, I was told I may be able to do some work in educating local employees of both the city and state on best practices when interacting with people with disabilities. This would not have paid me anything, but it could have been a way to be seen for other opportunities. Sadly, nothing came of this despite my respectful inquiring every few weeks to show I still wanted to partake in such an activity.
There was also talk of me becoming a temporary assistant to the Human Resources (HR) coordinator that had been a part of hiring me for the job working for the city. This fell apart a few weeks ago when, during one of my routine check-ins, I was told they would just have another employee help the HR Coordinator.
Taking the above with how I took ‘four’ Civil Service Exams, which I scord a perfect “100” on each, and only got one phone interview prior to being ghosted by the Hiring manager in that particular part of the state’s operations along with my Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor (VRC) being taken off my case so a returning VRC could have their region back, an Employment Specialist with the PA State Career Link service forgetting all about me after just one phone interaction, having not heard a word from my returning VRC in over two months, and, well, I think it is pretty clear that my best bet is to do story commissions until further notice.
2: Family Squabbles:
My sister, the RL Winry, has been getting progressively more condescending and judgmental towards me ever since Tina Bear and I separated in 2018. Each passing year, I have been badgered, mostly in a passive-aggressive way, for my parenting ability, how I turned my son, Peep, against his Aunt and Uncle, how my decisions are what lead to my mother, Mrs. O’Ducky, having her most recent seizure, etc.
Well, given the growing amount of blame and belittlement, Winry and her husband, Flynn, finally crossed a line that has me on non-speaking terms with my younger sister. What crossed the line? It was while Lucca was sitting with me while I called Winry to find out how Mrs. O’Ducky was feeling about coming down to visit towards the middle of this past month. There was apparently a belief that Lucca and I were hurting my mom by updating the house through selling, or donating, furniture that prevented us from making the overall home feel like one that best accommodated to the needs of Lucca and myself. Mrs. O’Ducky had said she did not mind us doing what we needed to in order to maintain the house, but a table we gave to a family that could really use it got Winry and Flynn furious with me. So, it was on this most recent call of nearly two weeks ago, Winry came at me about Lucca and I giving away the table. Lucca, tired of hearing how Winry has been very unfriendly during every encounter they ever had with my sister, spoke up to say how they were a part of the decision to give the table to the family that needed it. This earned a roaring reply of, “LUCCA! I AM TALKING TO MY BROTHER! NOT YOU! I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION!”.
Big surprise, this very unfriendly statement hurt Lucca, who has been trying to cope with how my family seems to be against them being a part of my life, and left me knowing that it may take quite some time before Winry and I can reconcile. I’m not in a rush as, right now, my goal is to care for Peep and Lucca. However, one day, I hope Winry and Flynn will take time to see how much I’ve had to constantly adapt and readapt where they have lived in the same place and have worked for the same employers since before 2009.
I didn’t intend to write so much. I guess this mess inside my head was far messier than I expected. Thankfully, Ms. Macaroni Penguin is really good at her job and I feel a lot better having gotten just these major bothers quacked out.
Thanks to everyone for your support to both Lucca and I as we journey to better our lives as Duckling & Lion.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
Some story updates along with giving myself a longer time on the proverbial ‘changing table’ to work through some of the things that have been making me feel a bit messy in the head.
First off is story commission status! Woop!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
silverkittie - Final draft sent for approval.2:
leonXIII - Starting ‘Part 9’ of 11.3:
littlebeararnold - Starting ‘Part 4’.4:
nishi - Starting 'Part 1'.5:
landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.EMERGENCY COMMISSION SPOTS:
10 Slots Available
$40 per story. Seeking to raise $400 to cover expenses needed to best prepare for forthcoming surgery in late September, or early October.
EMERGENCY eBAY SALES:
https://www.ebay.com/sch/yoshiducky.....pg=&_from=
Another way that Lucca and I are trying to raise over $400 to best prepare for my fo* Feel free to make offers and inquire if you may be seeking other collectables.
* I have Neopets complete trading card game (TCG) sets along with complete sets of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic trading cards, which include foil variants. I also have collections of single cards of all rarity types for ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’. (I would ideally like $100 for each of the complete card set and $50 for each of the ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’ collections. However, given the upcoming surgery, I’m open to offers and inquiries.).
I have some ‘’G3 – My Little Pony’ plastic figures for Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and others who could use a new home for a reasonable donation plus shipping costs.
STORY COMMISSIONS:
Please write me a private message (PM) with any questions you may have about placing yourself in my story commission que. All stories are $with NO limit on word count. (Most stories I finish run between 2,500 and 3,000 words.).
Examples of recent story commissions I have finished can be provided. (Links for these stories will return in the next journal update, which is coming soon with a new commission to check out!).
SECURE YOUR SPOT / DONATE:
Palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com
The above is how to pay your $40 to guarantee your spot in the commission queue. (Donations are welcome, but not necessary.).
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
The following summaries of overwhelming thoughts make for one heck of a mess to clean up. Please know that I write these to serve as a personal ‘sounding board’ to help me better get a grip on my emotions while, for those who may read, offer some insights in how we all endure difficult times that, through the creative arts, we can process, better understand , and not allow them to take away from permitting ourselves to be happy over miserable.
1: No Jobs For Blind Men:
A pun based on the movie title from a few years ago, but quite fitting to simplify how it has truly proved to be an effort in futility to find a job working within the public, or private, sector.
You hear how jobs are everywhere and how people “Just don’t want to work!”. Well, I am here to tell you that this is far from the case for those of us who are afflicted by physical and/or psychological disabilities.
Ever since 2006, which is one year after acquiring my Masters Degree in business Administration, I have done everything possible to adapt myself to whatever workplace I managed to get myself into. The frightening part is how it has always been ‘my responsibility’ to figure out how to do a job that became difficult, or impossible, for me to do as a result of my eyesight worsening, becoming 100% blind, or organizational change that eliminated compatible systems in which I could genuinely interact with using the most current versions of Accessible Hardware & Software.
Every job I have ever held since 2006 has been lost as a result of organizational change that negated my ability to meet my day-to-day work duties. The employer may have tried one thing, or removed job responsibilities entirely, before taking an approach that was designed to create a toxic working environment that got increasingly psychologically abusive until I was left with no other choice but to quit my job. (Quitting means the company does NOT have any obligation to pay for Unemployment Compensation (UC) benefits. It also makes it awkward when you are asked the dreaded, “Why did you leave your last employer?” question during a job interview.).
This year, I attempted to find work in multiple places within private and public organizations. The first opportunity was seconds away from being offered to me until, somehow, they forgot I had a ‘Seeing Eye Dog’. The hiring manager informed me that they needed to make sure the presence of my dog was not detrimental to the clientele they served. However, despite saying they’d follow up with me the following day, I never got a call back. I tried calling to check on the status of the job offer on a bi-weekly interval until it was beyond apparent I was passed over for the job.
The second job was one I did get hired for. My start date was at the end of February. However, I was not able to interact with the third-party software the city department used for keeping track of its records. I was brought in again in April to try a variant of the third-party software that ‘kind of’ worked, but not enough to perform the essential job responsibilities. In May, the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR) Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS) helped me to have a certified Accessibility Technology Specialist (AT) come in to perform a full evaluation of the job. It was then that the evaluator shared how it was not feasible for me to do the day-to-day interactions with the public, which was part of my job, while also talking on how the third-party vendor needed to still make some updates in order for me to be able to interact with it. This ended my employed, but never worked a single hour, job with the city.
In June, I interviewed for a job working for an insurance broker. This opportunity quickly ended when I was asked about how well I could use a filing cabinet. I ‘can’ use one with a combination of blind-friendly hardware and software. The trouble is how such tools are not fast enough to perform the necessary job functions to the required expectations of the organization’s customers. So, with the least amount of surprise and loads of knowing this was another dead end, I did what I could to show I was open for other opportunities. None came.
While the above was going on, I was told I may be able to do some work in educating local employees of both the city and state on best practices when interacting with people with disabilities. This would not have paid me anything, but it could have been a way to be seen for other opportunities. Sadly, nothing came of this despite my respectful inquiring every few weeks to show I still wanted to partake in such an activity.
There was also talk of me becoming a temporary assistant to the Human Resources (HR) coordinator that had been a part of hiring me for the job working for the city. This fell apart a few weeks ago when, during one of my routine check-ins, I was told they would just have another employee help the HR Coordinator.
Taking the above with how I took ‘four’ Civil Service Exams, which I scord a perfect “100” on each, and only got one phone interview prior to being ghosted by the Hiring manager in that particular part of the state’s operations along with my Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor (VRC) being taken off my case so a returning VRC could have their region back, an Employment Specialist with the PA State Career Link service forgetting all about me after just one phone interaction, having not heard a word from my returning VRC in over two months, and, well, I think it is pretty clear that my best bet is to do story commissions until further notice.
2: Family Squabbles:
My sister, the RL Winry, has been getting progressively more condescending and judgmental towards me ever since Tina Bear and I separated in 2018. Each passing year, I have been badgered, mostly in a passive-aggressive way, for my parenting ability, how I turned my son, Peep, against his Aunt and Uncle, how my decisions are what lead to my mother, Mrs. O’Ducky, having her most recent seizure, etc.
Well, given the growing amount of blame and belittlement, Winry and her husband, Flynn, finally crossed a line that has me on non-speaking terms with my younger sister. What crossed the line? It was while Lucca was sitting with me while I called Winry to find out how Mrs. O’Ducky was feeling about coming down to visit towards the middle of this past month. There was apparently a belief that Lucca and I were hurting my mom by updating the house through selling, or donating, furniture that prevented us from making the overall home feel like one that best accommodated to the needs of Lucca and myself. Mrs. O’Ducky had said she did not mind us doing what we needed to in order to maintain the house, but a table we gave to a family that could really use it got Winry and Flynn furious with me. So, it was on this most recent call of nearly two weeks ago, Winry came at me about Lucca and I giving away the table. Lucca, tired of hearing how Winry has been very unfriendly during every encounter they ever had with my sister, spoke up to say how they were a part of the decision to give the table to the family that needed it. This earned a roaring reply of, “LUCCA! I AM TALKING TO MY BROTHER! NOT YOU! I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION!”.
Big surprise, this very unfriendly statement hurt Lucca, who has been trying to cope with how my family seems to be against them being a part of my life, and left me knowing that it may take quite some time before Winry and I can reconcile. I’m not in a rush as, right now, my goal is to care for Peep and Lucca. However, one day, I hope Winry and Flynn will take time to see how much I’ve had to constantly adapt and readapt where they have lived in the same place and have worked for the same employers since before 2009.
I didn’t intend to write so much. I guess this mess inside my head was far messier than I expected. Thankfully, Ms. Macaroni Penguin is really good at her job and I feel a lot better having gotten just these major bothers quacked out.
Thanks to everyone for your support to both Lucca and I as we journey to better our lives as Duckling & Lion.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
I like using this AU version of my RL sister to better work through those times where I'm doing self-reflection and/or attempting to better cope with family drama. It is amazing how much we differ despite being just three years apart in age while having been born with the same ocular disease.
***
Golly! If my actual sister ever saw anything I have done with her AU counterpart, she'd totally flip out. (Not that it really matters given how, despite my mom's deepest of wishes, the two of us have been drifting further-and-further apart ever since RL Tina Bear left me.).
***
With Lucca living with me, I have had a great opportunity to see how being all by my blind self for over four years made me extremely vulnerable to the whims of my direct family. I also figured out more about how to ignore my ex while better respecting Peep by not doing anything to imply he is required to be with me on any particular day. The lil' rooster spends what time he wants to spend with me and Lucca with zero guilt attached.
***
What is most sad is how my sister, her husband, and I really did get along quite well and did fun things up until around the time my father passed away in 2008. Since then, they have gotten more-and-more set in their ways with each passing year while I've been having to continually reinvent myself as a result of sight loss, surgeries, bunghole employers, etc. (It is truly something to see how lives can differ based upon how stable / static one's life is, or is not over a prolonged period of time.).
Also if that stuff effects how you'd like Winry in your stories and stuff, or don't want to make or write stuff with her, that's okay! And if it effects commissions and stuff that's okay too. :3 Mine'd still work without her if you're concerned about that at all, but I hope your AU family stuff'll be okay!
***
Winry W. O'Ducky is not going anywhere. After all, she is only based after my RL sister to help me build the AU for Yosh that helps RL me work out those life situations I need a little extra help in. Plus, as I'm sure will happen with time, the real Winry and I will manage to work things out. I'm just going to stay calm, give her time to consider what got us to where we are now, and hope she is professional and adult enough to work things out without being a grumpy butt. :)
***
I actually just got done with the very first part of your next story. I'm quite excited to make a fun, sitcom-like adventure that is worth many a giggle while satiating some special interests. ;)
I'm sorry to hear about the tough time. Really sorry. *Hugs*
I hope things will get better.
I will send you a PM about a commission soon then. I hope you are okay.
***
Writing is an amazing way to get out feelings, thoughts, concerns, etc. one may not be able to properly process who, what, when, where, why, and how things are going the way they are in their life, but writing a journal, story, making art, etc. are sure ways to not only have a 'virtual therapist' while showing to those who are interested your humanity. :)
It is "somehow" right that you can get a job if you want, but, with a terrible salary, terrible working conditions, insane loads of work or time schedules and only if you don't have any condition that disturbs the company you're going to work with. The excess of demand of people looking for job in tons of countries and sectors have put the employers in a dominant position where they can basically do anything near to the legal borders without any consequence, and of course people is usually not in the condition of protesting all of that. Even if employers want to give good working conditions to their workers, they have to face a market full of competitors using those practices to save a lot of money, something usually really hard to face, without mentioning the really big troubles that small entrepreneurs usually have. All of this is something completely known those days, sorry for telling what you have probably heard and told thousands of times before, but well, I guess I had to say it. It is the truth, the uncomfortable and absolutely not funny truth.
If finding a job may be hard in my country for a regular youth, I cannot imagine how it could be for a person with a disability. Here we have even had serious violations to even human rights in some companies which ask for pregnant test before hiring a women and they even place clauses in their contracts to finish them in case they get pregnant.
About the other situation, well... I can just imagine how awful it was. I sometimes thing that some people have their heads too deep inside their own butt that they simply can't think anything outside their own believes, their own thoughts, so they can't accept at all any other kind of opinion or reaction, life simply has to be how they imagine it... That's really horrible. I hope that situation also gets a solution sooner of later.
This message was quiet long, full of negative and obvious stuff, and probably not really necessary... But I hope it can helps you see that I support and understand you at least a bit Yosh.
Negative journals and comments are not always bad to have. The reason I share what I share is to help myself feel validated in my feelings. This usually lets me not be as frustrated about my life struggles after I type them out. If others read them, I hope that it allows them, as it may have allowed you to do, feel safe in expressing what may be on your mind at the time.
How does the saying go about "Darkness coming before the light."? Sometimes you just need to release those dark thoughts to find the way towards your place in Equestria. :)