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This Sad, yet Beautiful World . . .
16 years ago
General
Have u ever had one of those days that starts out recklessly n ends w/ a sense of utter love(4urself, plus those around u) n' tranquility (aka inner peace). . .? Well today was something like that (n' although it may sound like i'm on some spiritual high, its still pretty astonishing, to me...)
It all started w/ a soft aroma, a yellow rose... i just happen to come across it in one of the many halls of the Collage of Humanities(UPR) Now i don't care how one might take it...but i still feel like the Universe (or the Creator, G., w/e u wanna call it) wanted me me to find it (aka causality^^) I felt so loved n happy at that moment that i felt like i shud share that feeling w/ someone. The funny thing is, that i got my wish^^ lol I was at the atm right? n a guy( i'd say in his late 50s mayhaps?) lets me use it b4 him(who was first in line, yielding bcuz a group of HS students asked me to take a pic of 'em) i refused at first but he was so nice that he insisted n i thought "wow thats kindness^^" Then i thought "u know i think i'll give him this rose to show my thanx n' appreciation^^"
(here's the sad part) But then somethin' stops me...my fears, my social consciousness(gender roles, norms etc), get in the way of my wish :("wha wud the others present at this moment say? wha if he takes it the wrong way? wha if he rejects my gift? . . . ") My wish to break w/ social/gender norms, to do somethin' thoughtful for a complete stranger did not come to pass... it makes me think how strong that patriarchal culture/concept still is in my mind (i wanna break w/ those concepts n think not w/ my head/mind but w/ my Heart^^ i do hope i get another shot at it..u live u learn after all)
So DID i give it to someone...? well, yeah^^ lolz I did the next best thing: i decided 2 give it 2 someone who had done something selfless for me in the last few days (so that way at least i'd accomplish the 'doing something thoughtful for a stranger' part) So i went to one of the many spots that sell sandwiches on campus n' gave it to the lady who gave me a whole pack of napkins the other day for a bake sale i was helping out w/ ^^ she was so happy that i was like "D'aaaaah its not that much^^" *feels Human inside* then met new ppl n walked home under the fallin' rain...
(here's the Beauty of this World^^...) N' this wasn't the only instance of human solidarity/kindness today (just the one that got me thinkin' abt the beauty n idiocy of the world, its inhabitants n the workings of the Universe^^ (so yeah all in all a very bless'd day indeed ex, a fellow student gave me an apple, i excused a student from class, got a chance to use an abandoned umbrella while walking home under the rain but didn't take it, etc. all these little things add up n make u wonder abt the inter-connectivity that's displayed between evry living being n Nature/ the Universe n' all that jazz^^ lol So in closing while i do sorta regret not giving the rose to the dude, i was glad to brighten up another person's day^^! Thus is the sadness (erroneous cultural concepts) and Beauty (human love/solidarity) of this World ...manifested!
It all started w/ a soft aroma, a yellow rose... i just happen to come across it in one of the many halls of the Collage of Humanities(UPR) Now i don't care how one might take it...but i still feel like the Universe (or the Creator, G., w/e u wanna call it) wanted me me to find it (aka causality^^) I felt so loved n happy at that moment that i felt like i shud share that feeling w/ someone. The funny thing is, that i got my wish^^ lol I was at the atm right? n a guy( i'd say in his late 50s mayhaps?) lets me use it b4 him(who was first in line, yielding bcuz a group of HS students asked me to take a pic of 'em) i refused at first but he was so nice that he insisted n i thought "wow thats kindness^^" Then i thought "u know i think i'll give him this rose to show my thanx n' appreciation^^"
(here's the sad part) But then somethin' stops me...my fears, my social consciousness(gender roles, norms etc), get in the way of my wish :("wha wud the others present at this moment say? wha if he takes it the wrong way? wha if he rejects my gift? . . . ") My wish to break w/ social/gender norms, to do somethin' thoughtful for a complete stranger did not come to pass... it makes me think how strong that patriarchal culture/concept still is in my mind (i wanna break w/ those concepts n think not w/ my head/mind but w/ my Heart^^ i do hope i get another shot at it..u live u learn after all)
So DID i give it to someone...? well, yeah^^ lolz I did the next best thing: i decided 2 give it 2 someone who had done something selfless for me in the last few days (so that way at least i'd accomplish the 'doing something thoughtful for a stranger' part) So i went to one of the many spots that sell sandwiches on campus n' gave it to the lady who gave me a whole pack of napkins the other day for a bake sale i was helping out w/ ^^ she was so happy that i was like "D'aaaaah its not that much^^" *feels Human inside* then met new ppl n walked home under the fallin' rain...
(here's the Beauty of this World^^...) N' this wasn't the only instance of human solidarity/kindness today (just the one that got me thinkin' abt the beauty n idiocy of the world, its inhabitants n the workings of the Universe^^ (so yeah all in all a very bless'd day indeed ex, a fellow student gave me an apple, i excused a student from class, got a chance to use an abandoned umbrella while walking home under the rain but didn't take it, etc. all these little things add up n make u wonder abt the inter-connectivity that's displayed between evry living being n Nature/ the Universe n' all that jazz^^ lol So in closing while i do sorta regret not giving the rose to the dude, i was glad to brighten up another person's day^^! Thus is the sadness (erroneous cultural concepts) and Beauty (human love/solidarity) of this World ...manifested!
