I am not a good person. It is too hard for me to be a good friend, because my personality/my anxiety cannot be active or loving enough for my friends.

I can’t say I deal with worse stuff than someone else, so I dont. I am so scared about over shadowing someone, I am so scared about stealing attention, but I still want attention. I want people to care about me. But I cant see that happening to me. I can’t have people care for someone who can’t show care back.

people tell me I need to believe in myself more, but its so hard to do that. its not like I am a good enough person by default. I can be very cynical, I latch onto my friends for support like a leech. I value my friends far far more than myself.

it is hard to stand up for myself because I am always questioning if I am a good person or not.

Some days I just want to leave. Leave the internet, leave my friend groups, leave the world. Save you all from me.

I have made mistakes I regret constantly. It has not left me, for years and years ago. My brain just can’t function outside of that. Sometimes I am NOT as bad as I am now, but truely I have rarely felt complete or happy.

Do what you wish with this info. It’s not like it will harm any of you knowing this.