Now... leaving the topic of NaNoWriMo for a second (I had to split this into two posts x_x), I just kind of want to give you a heads up on where I am emotionally. It was a very difficult day for me yesterday as it was two months ago that she broke up with me and no longer wanted to be in a relationship... And tomorrow marks one month of zero contact on either side, something that we have both respectfully kept.

I am getting better, I do feel in a much better place than I did two months ago, and I am regaining confidence in myself. But she was someone that I loved with all of my heart, my first love, and someone that I knew loved me back.

I'll probably elaborate more on my own issues tomorrow or sometime... but for now, I just want to relay a message to anyone listening.

If you're fortunate enough to love and be loved, cherish it, remember how much that love means to you and how important it is to preserve it.

Love isn't about sacrifice. Love is about happiness. If you truly love someone, you don't sacrifice for them, you compromise with them. Listen to your partner. Talk with them. Work through your issues together rather than hiding things or worrying that you might not be good enough if you speak up. Don't demand too much and don't accept too little.

Always, ALWAYS be committed and trusting. Remember that once you lose that trust, it takes a long time to regain it.

Be yourself and not just an extension of your partner. Remember that you are two unique souls dancing together in unison, not one soul that needs the other to function (as sweet as it may sound). You should both be able to appreciate yourselves as well as each other, and you should both be understanding to that fact.

And remember that if you neglect love or don't give it the attention it deserves, it will shrivel up and die. Sometimes you don't realize how good something was until it's no longer with you.

To those of you that have already had your heart broken, or those of you that are still in pursuit of love, please remember that you should never be so blind to be "desperate" for love. It will only lead to one mistake and disappointment after the other other.

You can be an independent person capable of functioning on your own, but only if you choose to be. You can sit around and mope all day, wishing things would be better or that someone would love you. Again, that's a choice.

Recently I read a large post on "The Power of Attraction" on a forum I lurk at. I still don't believe the majority of it, that it is some fix-all cure-all that magically works and you should believe in it or fail in life. But I do see some very good points in it.

If you're in a depressed state, ask yourself why would anyone voluntarily invest so much time and effort into making you feel better if you aren't investing that time and effort into yourself?

If you constantly beat yourself up over your own flaws or looks or shyness, ask yourself why would anyone voluntarily invest so much attention into making you feel better about yourself if you aren't even willing to do that?

People prefer being around cheerful, positive people a lot more than they do gloomy, negative ones. You don't really find real love that way. You find people feeling sorry for you.

If you're a cheerier, more positive person, you're more likely to attract other people, cheery or not. If you're a friendly person and a good listener, you're probably more likely to attract someone that wants those qualities. If you don't care how you look physically and are confident in your inner beauty, guess what? You're probably more likely to attract someone that sees you as the most beautiful person ever.

If you're depressed and not making any effort to get better, what are you likely to attract? What sort of people want that quality? We're all entitled to be depressed. It's important for you to understand you have every right to be and that whoever else you are with is equally understanding. It's a part of life to be down about things. But when you stop trying to make things better, when you give up altogether on fixing things and working towards getting out of depression, what does that attract?

But don't let this "Power of Attraction" stuff lull you into thinking that if you want love, you'll just magically get it no matter what. It's something you have to work hard for, it's something that you have to be ready for, and it's something that you have to be able to accept takes time.

I think really the most important thing is to try focus on being independent as much as you can, to find things that you enjoy and do them for goodness' sake, and try be as nice and friendly as possible to other people.

During the time I was going through my heartbreak, I was barraged by all of my friends problems, all of their woes and miseries, and all of their own heartbreak. I listened to them, put their worries ahead of my own, and tried to be a good friend rather than sulking and only getting worse. I was probably attracting that because that was how I felt.

And though all of these friends are still going through their problems, I feel empowered because I did the right thing, I distracted myself, and gradually grew back to writing and taking pride in myself again. I remember that I'm a good person and that I'm now independent.

You can be, too. But just as I said awhile back... it's a choice. It's something you have to choose. Just like it will be a choice later on to fall in love with someone, it's a choice right now for you to make the best out of your life and focus on smiling again so you can attract what you want to attract someday.