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Anybody a zen master? At odds with co-worker.
16 years ago
General
I'm trying to deal with my hateful co-worker, but when nearly everything she says to me is an insult, it's very hard. I try to be nice to her, but she won't be nice to me. I really don't know why she hates me so much. As far as she knows, I'm a heterosexual Caucasian Christian(like her), so I see no possibility of prejudice. I try to only say positive things to her, but if she or someone else blames me for something she did, I have to take the blame off of me. Maybe if I had offered to clean up the stuff she accidentally dropped on the floor, that could have prevented the argument we had tonight, if that was indeed a seed for our spat. I would have mentioned, "I'm not the one that dropped this on the floor, but I'll go ahead and pick it up anyway.", just so there's no blame on me.
What I said COULD be interpreted as an insult, but I was giving an accurate description of how her blaring music makes me feel. I accept that she likes that music, but she doesn't accept that it's annoying to me.
My manager is going to have a chat with us, probably tomorrow. I need to prepare for this so nothing's left out. I want to make it clear to her that I AM trying to be nice to her, but she's making it hard to do or not acknowledging my good intentions. She either thinks I'm stupid or is just using that as an insult. It's just her perception.
I'm looking for ways to be friends with her, whether she likes it or not. One way I figure is finding out what movies she likes. I know we both liked Bolt. We can relate on some movies, I'm sure.
I might ask her if she hates any of my favorite genres of music. I accept that she loves Country. Fine. I love electronica, parodies and heavy metal. If she hates any of those genres, I can certainly accept it. I also SORTA like old country music. They have fewer of the cliches today's country music has, like always mentioning a truck, a dog, alcohol, or having an overabundance of patriotism. The things I hate most about Country music, in addition to those cliches, is the over-done country accent, overabundance of violin or honky-tonk guitar, and a heavy religious theme. CLASSIC country music has none or very little of these aggravations. I should mention that Willie Nelson is good in my opinion.
I wish I was more in touch with emotions. I'm WAY too logical. I'm never offended with the truth. Yes, I'm short, so what? I stutter a little? I agree. I rarely talk? Yeah, although this co-worker would like that. I try not to talk to her as a result. I definitely rarely show emotion unless I'm angry. I don't smile that much. I've tried smiling more, but it's hard around her, and around my fast food job. I do need to find a better-fitting job, but my lack of ambition is a problem as well. Depression will do that to a person.
If you have a zen method of dealing with hateful co-workers, let me know.
What I said COULD be interpreted as an insult, but I was giving an accurate description of how her blaring music makes me feel. I accept that she likes that music, but she doesn't accept that it's annoying to me.
My manager is going to have a chat with us, probably tomorrow. I need to prepare for this so nothing's left out. I want to make it clear to her that I AM trying to be nice to her, but she's making it hard to do or not acknowledging my good intentions. She either thinks I'm stupid or is just using that as an insult. It's just her perception.
I'm looking for ways to be friends with her, whether she likes it or not. One way I figure is finding out what movies she likes. I know we both liked Bolt. We can relate on some movies, I'm sure.
I might ask her if she hates any of my favorite genres of music. I accept that she loves Country. Fine. I love electronica, parodies and heavy metal. If she hates any of those genres, I can certainly accept it. I also SORTA like old country music. They have fewer of the cliches today's country music has, like always mentioning a truck, a dog, alcohol, or having an overabundance of patriotism. The things I hate most about Country music, in addition to those cliches, is the over-done country accent, overabundance of violin or honky-tonk guitar, and a heavy religious theme. CLASSIC country music has none or very little of these aggravations. I should mention that Willie Nelson is good in my opinion.
I wish I was more in touch with emotions. I'm WAY too logical. I'm never offended with the truth. Yes, I'm short, so what? I stutter a little? I agree. I rarely talk? Yeah, although this co-worker would like that. I try not to talk to her as a result. I definitely rarely show emotion unless I'm angry. I don't smile that much. I've tried smiling more, but it's hard around her, and around my fast food job. I do need to find a better-fitting job, but my lack of ambition is a problem as well. Depression will do that to a person.
If you have a zen method of dealing with hateful co-workers, let me know.
Stop caring about her. If she's unfriendly, She's not the sort who really deserves your friendship. No one deserves ire of course. I'm not saying be unfriendly or callous to her. But stop trying so hard for her approval. She does not deserve your efforts if she struggles to find fault in them and spurn them.
Just be civil to her, and in regards to her.
Yeah, she doesn't deserve my friendship. She's claimed to be Christian but acts in a very un-Christian manner toward me(she refused an apology from me one day, & forgiveness is one of Jesus's big teachings). She's definitely not my type(anybody who cranks up country music on speakers that are closest to someone who hates country music is NOT my type). Unfortunately, she's also my co-worker and I have to be around her. My "don't talk to her" policy hasn't helped enough.