Plurality Too
3 years ago
So. Yes. Plural. Azalea is too, in a way too.
It turns out that the characters who I made to explore parts of myself (Lina, Kaiko) ended up becoming the best road to self expression.
Combined with my transition and identity and expression shift it all fits.
Having depersonalization, being separated from my emotions and feelings and have to act and fill that out, and then that coming back and reconnecting and having to put it together.
The part that got me through that stage cant do it alone, and post dysphoria, the feelings are there, but they are not integrated.
I found myself being split - dom, sub, goth, fairy styles, demi, lesbian, pan, bi - everything, but not at the same time. And having arguments with myself about what to say, what to write, to avoid being rejected, to the point where I would collapse and cry.
Thanks to friends and a long time of thought i decided that maybe theres at least some aspects in there.
I dont switch, and its more like a mindlink connection than anything. But its not singularity either.
So far there's four
Kaiko - host, main front, the rational goth, stylish but cold. The part that got me through pre-dysphoria times. Serious minded, logical. Domme
Lina - That ghoul. A lot nicer now. Wants attention, playful, more direct. Still part and not a full aspect. Into food and drink and such.
Kimani - Inner child. Aspirational and loving
Isabella - Exile/Awkward goth. Artistic, but sad and failure prone. Gets frustrated.
Anyways, it works for me, that's all I care about, but i think this might be helpful.
Thanks for reading
If you dont get it, dont worry, not much will change. We like being Azalea too.
It turns out that the characters who I made to explore parts of myself (Lina, Kaiko) ended up becoming the best road to self expression.
Combined with my transition and identity and expression shift it all fits.
Having depersonalization, being separated from my emotions and feelings and have to act and fill that out, and then that coming back and reconnecting and having to put it together.
The part that got me through that stage cant do it alone, and post dysphoria, the feelings are there, but they are not integrated.
I found myself being split - dom, sub, goth, fairy styles, demi, lesbian, pan, bi - everything, but not at the same time. And having arguments with myself about what to say, what to write, to avoid being rejected, to the point where I would collapse and cry.
Thanks to friends and a long time of thought i decided that maybe theres at least some aspects in there.
I dont switch, and its more like a mindlink connection than anything. But its not singularity either.
So far there's four
Kaiko - host, main front, the rational goth, stylish but cold. The part that got me through pre-dysphoria times. Serious minded, logical. Domme
Lina - That ghoul. A lot nicer now. Wants attention, playful, more direct. Still part and not a full aspect. Into food and drink and such.
Kimani - Inner child. Aspirational and loving
Isabella - Exile/Awkward goth. Artistic, but sad and failure prone. Gets frustrated.
Anyways, it works for me, that's all I care about, but i think this might be helpful.
Thanks for reading
If you dont get it, dont worry, not much will change. We like being Azalea too.
We're Balros, Echoen, and Skilea.