It’s a pity to read this, and it’s especially a pity that so few people appreciate your work, because, for example, I see how you try and your style is just beautiful, 3d models are very detailed and realistic

Thank you very much.

While the ferals personally aren't my cup of tea (like the feral nsfw stuff for me). You have such a wonderful style and your work is very detailed! You aren't a failure I can promise you that! I can't remember how I stumbled across your work and may of been a front page pic. It does sound like you are burnt out though, and a good break could be good for you wether thats taking a hiatus, or drawing more of what you personally want. Burn out can def give these kinds of feelings. The only thing I can think of is the time you upload art work I've heard that can be a big factor in your art being seen. You don't give yourseld enough credit (and we will always be the worst critic of our work) you really have a great thing going in my opnion. You have the skill and everything! It's also not healthy for really anyone to be overworking and just trying to please whoever, and feeling bad when you take a break or compare yourself to someone else. Your style stands out. I only saw this journal as I scrolled and wanted to give you some support. I'm not sure where you take your commissions from, but can always try other avenues have a presecene on other sites. Do you ever take a day off or weekend to relax or draw something for yourself? I'm not sure if any of this will help but your doing great! Sorry for the long reply, if I can think of anything else I'll jot it down at some point. Your doing great.

*edit* realized you have tried a variety of sites sorry ;3;

Yep, I tried a few sites with no luck. I am considering doing less feral artwork and pure 2D though.

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope things get better for you

You are obviously very good at 3D stuff better then a lot of things ive seen floating around this site, so id say keep doing it but maybe a longer break is what you need. Also understandable from what point your coming with this, sth like that can realy be a downer sadly. I hope you find a solution for your problem.

I'm truly sadden by reading this entry, even thought most people aren't into or have the interest/fascination towards feral art, I still found your work, style, and your attention to realistic detailing absolutely amazing. I can also say, (and I'm guessing you've heard this many times), that I too can relate, thinking that I've become failure, and constant feeling the need to blame myself, but when I watch and look over different artist's work such as yours, I don't feel like a failure. No instead I feel inspired n motivates, seeing how wonderful and amazing your work is and me wanting to strive in the hopes of achieving what you've perfected, and in our eyes you've done an outstanding job. If it's gotten to point where it's taken a major toll on both mental and emotional health/mindset, than I might say you could take a break from art for a while, at least until your able find a proper solution and stepping stone. Something that your comfortable with....

Are you kidding me? Your art is amazing! Like you could almost touch it❤

Thank you!

It hurts to know an artist who's work I respect suffers this.
Comparing your self to others is almost cruel thing, to do to your self.
And yet, it's so common, I wonder if it's the price being an intelligent species. Someone's always better, or more successful

The love of feral erotica is niche so the trick is finding where it fits. Your artwork is incredible. Attention to detail, your models.
I oft have a mental battle in my head if it's a 3d rendering or a super detailed painting.

Making art your primary income is no easy task. Some of the most successful artists (Who's ego are still in check) all say the same thing "I got lucky"
or "It wasn't easy, I had days where I thought maybe I should quit but, something in me said "NO"

Considering your model work. Have you considered making these for sale? Or possibly a soft break, doing a standard 9-5 like us other wage slaves?
What ever your decision. I hope you stay with the community and make the occasional piece. We'd be worse for it losing another skilled artist

From my experince, even if i do get the few that find my 3D work very good, it simply does not sell as much as standard 2D work. as it stands I am going back to basics in hopes that I get more eyes.

Fair enough. What ever your decisions, and where ever that path goes. You've got my respect, well wishes and support. I wish you luck on your journey. I hope it leads to prosperity

I would like to say it's not end of the road for your art career.

I was in the same situation as you right here. Not getting enough support to make a living as an artist. I got my first job and it definitely drains the soul out of me, by the end of the day. That's when I decided to keep working on my art career on the side to still have fun and something to look forward to. It helped me improve my quality of work as well.

Honestly from a business standpoint, you're too cheap. (I mean that nicely). Your max patreon tier is $18 a month. You should have at LEAST a $50 tier, and scrub your minimum $1 tier. If you want to make a living off your business, then you need to treat it like a BUSINESS. Things like kofi tips and such help, but that's not reliably consistent. Your problem isn't skill or quality or content, your problem is entirely you're under-selling yourself. Don't know what you're doing? My friend, NO ONE does. If you're burned out on art that's one thing, but if your issue is simply not making enough money, raise your prices!

Up all your prices. Add higher tiers for your subscription services. People will pay it. Stop (literally) selling yourself short. You're one of the more popular artists, and you're acting like no one knows you.

Go make a $50 patreon tier and I'll sign up for it.

I have been told about expanding prices by a few people and I would be willing to do so but I am also afraid that it may turn off a select few. I do plan I'm making some comms around the 400$ mark though.

That's where thinking like a business comes in. Let's say you gain two $50 subs, but you lose 3 $5 subs. That's still a net gain. It's worth doing.

Il probably give it a try.

You are not giving yourself enough credit for your work, your models look impressively realistic and whenever I see one of your pieces, I immediately recognize your style. One of the phases of learning a skill is to realize the extent of things that you do not know. That feeling can be overwhelming, but it allows you to grow further.

In my experience, nearly nobody has an idea what they are doing in life. Everyone is just stumbling through it at their own pace and learn as they go. Please do not look at how fast other artists seem to be developing/learning, everyone's path of life is different, and you cannot see their past. Social media also has a tendency to make you compare your worst with other's best, which is not a fair comparison.

Getting a large following online is not something you can deliberately control. Luck plays a huge role in it. For every successful artist that you see online, there are countless others that are struggling just as you are.

Burnout is a serious bitch. Please take some time off to care for yourself. If you do art as your primary source of income, maybe consider switching jobs for a while. There are studies that have shown that an extrinsic reward (i.e. money) can destroy the intrinsic motivation of doing an activity, so by removing your monetary dependency on it, you might find your motivation again.

I hope that you will eventually enjoy doing art again and share it with us! <3

its a difficult situation, at the moment there are certain factors that prevent me from getting a "normal" job. best I am trying to do is center myself and find the happiness to draw in itself eventually.

I know exactly what you mean, when you say, "you have no idea what I'm doing." Being an artist is an identity crisis, until you find what and who you are. See it or not, you do have your little quirks and ticks that makes you different from the next. Quite honestly, I'd say, as an outside source, you are far more unique than you give yourself credit for.

I urge and implore you to NOT stop doing that search. To not stop drawing/3D modeling. And absolutely, not stop art because the world doesn't recognize your potential or skills. Be it small, you still make an impact to a good number of people. Everyone here obviously, and to your other watchers and followers. I strongly believe, that eventually you will find that calling, and get the eye of someone/some people that will expand you! I'm still not 100% sure if I'm there myself with knowing my calling or feeling like I got the support_ but I've learned that as an artist, my focus is on the anthropomorphic and doing what I feel brings me the most joy. That be adult or SFW anthros. Do what you think brings the most gratification to yourself. And still hold out for that someone to bring you to the crowded front.

Making a living as an artist is a terrible cliché. Artist's work, truly don't become relevant or outstanding, until its too late. As sad as it is... But that doesn't mean you can't make some ripples along the way. And I'd say you make some good sized waves as it is now. Keep at it!

Perhaps, as a suggestion, don't limit yourself on what you do. Keep to the furry art, but don't be afraid to expand out. Try new things, new ideas. See what you think YOU can do and enjoy. Do some different creations, make up something, divulge into different critters. (Though you seems to have quite the stock pile, that said.) And from the sounds of it (I don't actually have Pateron) you sound very inexpensive. Finding that balance of over charging and undercharging is tough. But $18 a month for how much work does go into your work, seems dirt cheap.

I rambled, likely as hell. And even if I didn't hit the situation on the head, take what you can and want from what I've said. Don't let the world get you down_ kick it in the nuts!

As far as expanding, I tried a few things, but maybe its best I try the odd fan art perhaps. I don't know, I feel like Im going to have to rethink everything.

Fan art isn't a bad thing to get into. I know some people feel uncomfortable with using "company property." Or seeing their favorite character anatomically correct. But that is why its called FAN art. And, I find doing some rule34 is for me, a dirty fun. I admit, with your style and detail, you could very well bring to life some very_ sensational creatures.

On another note, I noticed below you said: "I don't know if I'm drawing something I want to see, or something I need to make, in order to make a living." I use to do that, (not basing it off of making a living, but a reputation I suppose,) primarily drawing to please people. Stop doing that. It's a 100% a sure way to get you down when you see numbers drop and countless artist blocks. People pleasing (speaking as a post(ish)-people pleaser) is a destructive task. Draw what YOU want to see. Draw what brings you genuine pleasure and enjoyment. You will not love what you do, if you only do what others want you to do. You wanna draw a robot dog with a boner, do it. You wanna draw a skanky deer, do it.

I'm speaking from personal experience of course. I can understand, with money on the line, its a little tougher to go out on a limb. But in terms of the art itself, I think its better to be happy with what you make and do, than to be lost and frustrated. :)

you upload infrequently, you only do photorealistic feral only zoos would enjoy(i sorta am one so no judgment, but what % of the population is a zoo? probably under 1%), and your zoo stuff is borderline safe for work at that. you paywall the rare NSFW.
how do you expect to make $thousands+ doing such a niche sexuality, and not even doing full porno?

I would agree with the niche part if I did not see other nich feral artists that do much of the same succeed. that its borderline safe? maybe, perhaps I am to much in the middle for anyone to care. To say I paywall though? that is a straight up lie. I provide high res images for patrons but other than that all my work is unsencored, its the LEAST I can do as I belive my work has value.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44040321/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44065970/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/31718486/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27020030/
can i get these uncensored then?

Check e621

only 1 out of 4

Don't measure yourself up against others!! stop it!! It does nothing to help you and only feeds into that feeling of inadequacy. Absolutely vent if you have to (and I'm so glad you posted this journal, thank you for sharing with us how you feel) but don't let misery become familiar company ;o;

I've watched your work for years and have loved the improvements you've made overtime and subjects you've explored. You have a following that many artists would KILL to experience (myself included- I've been at it 2 years longer, poured in thousands of hours and tons of sweat on studying/practice, and you have 5-10x my stats lol), and the comments on this journal show just how passionate your fans are to help see you succeed to new heights. Luck is a huge factor for finding early success as an artist, as is having your fanbase/social algorithms actively share your work. You cannot control these two things and they exist independent of skill and ability, and not every artist will enjoy the pleasures of having both or either. In the end ya gotta just go where your heart tells you. Measuring purely by statistics, remember that some of the biggest overt achievers out there pad their numbers with various tricks and that you can never put complete confidence in what you see online.

If peace for you means taking a break to find yourself, or making a hard choice and doing fanart/artforms you've put off for whatever reason, do what you need to and all of us will cheer you on. Your fans love the work you do and I wish I could do more to help! You are not a failure, you're growing, and all the responses here are proof that we want to watch you grow all the way :3.

All I can offer is to find a crew that does work similar to yours and uplift one another, using your fanbases as a catalyst for shared online social growth. MOST IMPORTANTLY, as others have said....UP YOUR PRICES! Your work IS worth it, and you DO have a product and vision that people cannot find anywhere else .

Perhaps I should start doing COMMS again. maybe.

You do some of the best 3d and realistic/anatomically correct looking furry art out there…don’t beat yourself up like this. I appreciate the effort and time you’ve put into your work, with pieces that are pretty unique across the fandom.

Idea: Set aside time to make/ do something you want <3 or make something you want to see.

I would, but im in a wierd spot where I don't know if I'm drawing something I want to see, or something I need to make, in order to make a living.

I'm really sorry you feel this way about your art. I can tell you that I think your work is exquisite, and have for quite a while. I have never commissioned you, which is a failing on my part.

I am truly hoping that you do NOT quit, that you are able to keep producing your quite wonderful art. I DO hope that you are able to find your niche, or that you are able to take a break and avoid burn-out. Perhaps, going back to working outside the home and doing your art as YOU want and see fit, at least for a while.

I know that FA would be a poorer place without your art to grace it's feed.

I might start some comm slots in the near future.

Doing things at your own pace, what you want to do, might help

I must say that I think that your artworks are some of the best feral artworks out dare. But what I think is amazing is that both your 2d artworks and your 3d artworks are fantastic. Of course there were some misses, but you made some of my favourite artworks. For example, your wolverine on a couch 3d artwork. At first, it just aroused me, but later it introduced me to that secluded species. I privately researched about them, which lead to me funding research and conservation efforts of these animals.
To wrap this up, if this decision is final, then I wish you the best of luck in your further endeavours. But I still think that your 2d and 3d artworks are the best feral artworks out there, and I think they stand there unchallenged.

I'm surprised to hear you haven't had much success. You make some of the best 3d model art I see in the fandom! Maybe it's easy for us fans to silently enjoy something and not show artists the love they deserve.

I hope you can find enjoyment in your art again, whatever form it takes. If you need to quit, we'll definitely miss your work, but whatever is best for you is more important in the long run.

I hope you never give up <3

Venting is ok. Sometimes you need to. Even if others dont like it, or no one listens. You have to get it out or the feelings stir and fester.

I have noted that a lot, some artists just have all the success flow over them. Others who beat their fingers and utensils to death, get very little coverage. I have had a few favorites just disappear over the years. And many had released amazing works.

I think some time off, or slow down, may be in order. Think things over. Try and look at a track you wish to take. I honestly love seeing what works you put out, although it would have been better if I was vocal about them. The unique poses, angles, and facial expressions. While keeping the image weighed down with a bit of realism. Not many do that. An the few that do, really dont do the subject justice at times.

Although, maybe it is the one track you do tread right now. I have noticed a lot of watchers lately are more and more turning there noses up to feral artists. Some feral artists have great success, and others are just trotted by. Maybe mix up the subject matter a bit. I am not trying to be critical, I do enjoy and appreciate what I am seeing. Im just trying to be a bit insightful.

I hope you can restablish yer footing. Art is becoming more an more of a precarious slope, and like most other ventures, success is almost as slim as the lottery anymore. Pls dont loose heart to this.

I love your work Cosmic. You are a tremendous inspiring artist and will continue to support you on your feral art. Take all the time you need to rest and relax, because sometimes the fandom itself can be very overwhelming.

Wish you the best <3

Have you reached out to other artists and talked to them about what changes they have made that lead to their success? Not every suggestion would work for you, but it might give ideas on what changes you could make and spark the change needed.

I have and sadly been ignored.

It's a hard topic which can burn you out quickly especially if you start comparing yourself to others with more success.
And this will always poison your own view and cloud judgment. You never know the whole story of how one achieved it, may it be luck or a clever business strategy. To many factors to take into account.

I feel a huge part of getting more "successful" is getting your name better known. The amount of good artist really kept rising in the last years. So maybe some community work could help, interacting more with certain groups like dunno the feral ones. Poking into some group chats, discords and such seem to work for some feral artists. Seeing how big certain groups are the audience for it is certainly there.
Other ideas might be spacing out your content from single pin ups to some paired up ones, ych commissions and similar.
I like your content and your skill is great. Would hate to see you stop. It's a rough field - I quickly realized I suck at such things like forcing a big enough growth and output that I could live from it sadly so I wish you the best with that endeavor!

I think I have been skipping on community involvement or involvement with fans in general. I'm going to work on that.

Burnout sucks.

Since you do 3d stuff, have you considered doing game-ready models for stuff like VR and SFM? The particle bake workflow is way beyond me, but there's absolutely an empty niche for non-toony VR avatars, and avatar commissions can pay fursuit money.

I dabbled in that for a bit and never got far.

Please allow me to encourage you to revisit it should the mood strike you. If you can create a gameready mesh I can try and put you in contact with some people who can help with the Unity work to make it work with VR Chat. Unfortunately SFM and animation rigging is a touch beyond me.

If I could work with some one on a project, I would be willing to do some 3D but as far as lone projects go, I rather do 2D. if you find someone interested you let me know!

What would you be looking for specifically in a collaborator?

as far as 3d goes, some one who is willing to rig or take a model and make it workable for something like VR chat. I would do the model and textures and someone would rig.

I'll ask around. Is your stuff really not rigged? I thought your models at least had partial skeletons.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling discouraged. Your art is excellent.

You've obviously put a lot into this, and you deserve no small amount of love and respect for it.