Hello, Everyone. Hope your autumn months have been decent.

It's been 3 months since my last journal update so I thought I'd post one before new years.

Anyway Therapy has been going well and we had conversation about why I had problems with understanding boundaries. As I admit I have been really really bad with boundaries even especially when joining the fandom. Having lost trust and relations with artists, friends and groups over the years. I'm not going to mention their names but I will talk about how I've been raised. When I was growing up, even in social studies and English and with family, Not only I was never ever taught about boundaries, but I was like never EVER allowed to have a boundary especially in School. Having to interact with students or people that I was never comfortable with, Having to deal with their crude behaviors in Special Ed, Or forced to be social to people that I rather not be friends with.

After graduation from high school I was really getting lonely and depressed which is why I always depend on the internet and online games. Then I found the furry fandom and I was able to find people with interests similar to mine, It did took me a while to get into the babyfur community because I was shy and all and Worried about judgement and trolls. Eventually I really got into it and I was going to furry cons and hanging out with nice people. But of course I have been carried away and not understanding comfort zones or boundaries. I was blinded with love and I was then learning about obvious disconnects and it really left me very depressed. I was able to make new friends along the way but most came and went, I have several friends pass away like Kyufox and Ivan Fenrir which was really painful. I miss them dearly still. And another thing is I have a tendency to just not let things go and that's really hard for me especially when I have been close to certain people and then a huge mess broke out. I've also been called out multiple times on Twitter for certain mistakes I've made and statements. I still have a lot of trouble understanding the society of the fandom and in these groups.

I'm still in therapy and I'm gonna start to learn further about using filters and understanding and making boundaries, Though currently my therapist is going through a chest infection so it may be postponed for a little bit. But this is something that I will work on.

Anyway I finally got to try out VRchat and played on my desktop. I don't have a VR headset yet so I was giving desktop a shot first. it was cool although it didn't show a whole lot of features, props or objects compared to Second Life. But it's definitely something I want to expand on and get my own custom avatar and hang out with groups. and eventually invent in a valve index to really immerse in it.

Lastly I wanna start getting back into Twitch streaming and gaming, I really gotta break out my RingFit again and start exercising. But I also want to set up my space and start streaming video and computer games again and start becoming part of the Twitch Streaming community. Of course I want to get a Vtube avatar for myself done, Have a twitch stream layout, And making this a side hustle for making more money. Of course it's gonna take time, knowledge, effort and surely more cash to make this work out.

That's all I got for this Journal. I may upload several pics I got since I haven't uploaded anything for like a year. Hope everyone has a fun and safe winter and Christmas and... stay warm!