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Refs posted; Why don’t I use Arben in TF?
3 years ago
I just got my ref sheets posted (the sequence starts with Arben’s mature ref sheet, found here). It feels nice to have those up. I noted in the description that I worked with the artist for a year on it; I seriously appreciate his persistence.
I wanted to address one question, which is why I don’t use my sonas in tf more often. It seems odd that transformation plays such an important part in my participation in the furry fandom, yet Arben, who is supposed to represent me, has nothing to do with it.
I’m not sure how to answer this. To me, the Sears are living characters. They symbolize several parts of me. They are a means for me to interact with the furry fandom, but they are distinct from my transformation fetish at the same time.
I recognize there is a disconnect between my love of transformation (and the rest of me?). I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, so I’m just going to list out some points I think are relevant.
- I’m usually not attracted to human guy’s appearances. I find guys more or less attractive, but I’ve only ever been turned on by looking at a guy once or twice. The guyfriends I have come to love I have drawn close to for other reasons.
- When I’m horny, I picture all kinds of things happening to me that I wouldn’t actually want to have happen to me. (Sometimes this conflict distracts me from my arousal: “Wait, but I don’t want to be a horse, what I really want is to be turned into a lion. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a horse, especially not as a feral horse.” Or, “I wouldn’t actually want to escape all my problems by reducing my life to being someone else’s head-empty servant. Coming to understand really complicated things and working to overcome difficulties are two of the things that make life worth living the most.”)
- I rarely picture other people I know in my sexual fantasies. When I do, I separate the concept of that person as an individual with their own thoughts and desires from the guy I see myself doing X with in my head.
- A lot of the draw of transformation for me is in the questionable consent and the mental change following it. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, check this TFTuesday podcast.
- There is a clear disconnect between my tf fetish and my personality/what I want (I’m very kind, slow to judge, and overthink things. I’m not afraid of confrontation, but I’m a contrarian who likes understanding someone’s viewpoint. I want my partner(s) to be kind. I want to be understood. Sex would be a comfortable thing between us).
Ultimately, I think transformation is a kink for me. Other people use it symbolically to explore who they are, but I don’t do that. I don’t consider tf to be part of who I am. That’s why I don’t have my fursonas participate in tf. It would feel very weird to have any of them forcibly (and sexually) transform a guy, even Felix, because that would feel like saying I wanted to forcibly transform someone in real life.
I wanted to address one question, which is why I don’t use my sonas in tf more often. It seems odd that transformation plays such an important part in my participation in the furry fandom, yet Arben, who is supposed to represent me, has nothing to do with it.
I’m not sure how to answer this. To me, the Sears are living characters. They symbolize several parts of me. They are a means for me to interact with the furry fandom, but they are distinct from my transformation fetish at the same time.
I recognize there is a disconnect between my love of transformation (and the rest of me?). I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, so I’m just going to list out some points I think are relevant.
- I’m usually not attracted to human guy’s appearances. I find guys more or less attractive, but I’ve only ever been turned on by looking at a guy once or twice. The guyfriends I have come to love I have drawn close to for other reasons.
- When I’m horny, I picture all kinds of things happening to me that I wouldn’t actually want to have happen to me. (Sometimes this conflict distracts me from my arousal: “Wait, but I don’t want to be a horse, what I really want is to be turned into a lion. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a horse, especially not as a feral horse.” Or, “I wouldn’t actually want to escape all my problems by reducing my life to being someone else’s head-empty servant. Coming to understand really complicated things and working to overcome difficulties are two of the things that make life worth living the most.”)
- I rarely picture other people I know in my sexual fantasies. When I do, I separate the concept of that person as an individual with their own thoughts and desires from the guy I see myself doing X with in my head.
- A lot of the draw of transformation for me is in the questionable consent and the mental change following it. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, check this TFTuesday podcast.
- There is a clear disconnect between my tf fetish and my personality/what I want (I’m very kind, slow to judge, and overthink things. I’m not afraid of confrontation, but I’m a contrarian who likes understanding someone’s viewpoint. I want my partner(s) to be kind. I want to be understood. Sex would be a comfortable thing between us).
Ultimately, I think transformation is a kink for me. Other people use it symbolically to explore who they are, but I don’t do that. I don’t consider tf to be part of who I am. That’s why I don’t have my fursonas participate in tf. It would feel very weird to have any of them forcibly (and sexually) transform a guy, even Felix, because that would feel like saying I wanted to forcibly transform someone in real life.
