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Why Blue is the worst MTG color
3 years ago
Don't do it first. Do it better.
(Disclaimers: 1 - The following is meant in a "it's satire, laughing at yourself is priceless" way, not to be taken seriously*. 2 - Yes, this is inspired by "The First Person to Ever Have a Spell Countered" on YouTube. 3 - I don't play Magic but it's fun to watch lists about it.)
1: "Okay, we've made new decks, and I'm ready for you this time! I cast this sorcery!"
2: "I will Counterspell."
1: "...Great. Then I summon this creature!"
2: "Creatures are also spells. I Counterspell again."
1: "Ffffine, then I play this artifact."
2: "Them too. Counterspelled."
1: "Then I play this, which specifically cannot be countered!"
2: "(plays something like Discontinuity or Summary Dismissal) No. And, especially for Discontinuity, here is a rules lawyer-y explanation of why that is not countered but it is."
1: "Yeah, awesome, this is fun. I get that TCGs are like golf: The specific goal of both is to play as little as possible, what a thrilling game. No wonder so many old and fat people play it: They don't have the time or athleticism to spare. But Blue takes that a step further by not 'playing the game' at all and preventing the other player from playing either, and yet, you're still considered the winner. GG."
(* ...Mostly.)
For those who know even less than I do about MTG, this whole video is great, but this part should summarize what I'm talking about quite nicely: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGr.....K9VZ10#t=1m47s
1: "Okay, we've made new decks, and I'm ready for you this time! I cast this sorcery!"
2: "I will Counterspell."
1: "...Great. Then I summon this creature!"
2: "Creatures are also spells. I Counterspell again."
1: "Ffffine, then I play this artifact."
2: "Them too. Counterspelled."
1: "Then I play this, which specifically cannot be countered!"
2: "(plays something like Discontinuity or Summary Dismissal) No. And, especially for Discontinuity, here is a rules lawyer-y explanation of why that is not countered but it is."
1: "Yeah, awesome, this is fun. I get that TCGs are like golf: The specific goal of both is to play as little as possible, what a thrilling game. No wonder so many old and fat people play it: They don't have the time or athleticism to spare. But Blue takes that a step further by not 'playing the game' at all and preventing the other player from playing either, and yet, you're still considered the winner. GG."
(* ...Mostly.)
For those who know even less than I do about MTG, this whole video is great, but this part should summarize what I'm talking about quite nicely: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGr.....K9VZ10#t=1m47s
I have never come so close to killing a friend.
Player: "I cast a spell to destroy your minion!"
Blue Player: *leans waaay in and whispers* "No you don't."