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A Look Back on 2022
2 years ago
The Retrospective
So here’s something. This is the fourth time I’ve opened this document. It is currently January 1st, 2023. I started this writeup back on December 1st when I wasn’t in the best headspace. I even have a line in there about how when I post this, I’ll have edited it multiple times. Good foresight, Gylphie.
The original was far more negative. What you get to see here is all those emotions finally processed. I write these up every year now as a sort of therapy and also a way to share what’s going on in my life to those who are interested. I feel like we so often forget the human aspect. Locked behind a screen and only hearing the voice or seeing the text of someone can sometimes isolate us from the very real things happening in someone’s life. We try not to speak about the negatives in life because it can be a burden for others who are not asking for it. Other times, we avoid speaking of the successes and achievements in our lives for fear of looking boisterous or sparking envy. Well, at least I do. Except for this journal.
Let’s recount the major moments of 2022 for me, both good and bad.
December was rough, but ended in an unexpected high note. I struggled greatly at the beginning of the month. Many folks don’t know I have an emotional disability. It is something I hide well. I structure my entire day and life around keeping it under wraps. But in December, the wraps were worn thin. As I’ll bring up in the part about November, I was hit hard by my layoff. A central part of how I structured my week was knocked out suddenly, and with it, the whole way I lived. Suddenly, I wasn’t just fighting the normal negative feelings you’d feel with a layoff, but I was also fighting against the destabilization of my way that I kept myself in check. It was hard man. To feel and know that some of your sanity is weaning away is distressing. Through a lot of resilience and effort, I was able to recognize these things and soon was able to restructure and stabilize. Instead of having my job be the routine thing I structured my day and life around, I made exercising the core pillar supporting everything else. While I had been going on 2.5 mile walks daily for a while and had strengthened my injured knee to the strongest it has been in 5 years, adding in a full exercise regiment has been great for both my physical and emotional health. It was much needed for what else December would end up holding. As the holiday rolled around, I made my way out to my parents. Unfortunately, my grandfather also entered hospice care as I arrived. The circumstances of the situation required me to cycle with my father on taking care of him. It’s been hard, I won’t lie. To see death slowly take someone is harrowing. I’ve made my peace with the inevitable and won’t be hurt by it, but it’s given me much to think about. Despite death lingering in these last days of 2022, I was able to end it on a positive note. I have a great shot at a fantastic job that I’d be happy in. I’m hopeful for it and was glad that I could end 2022 in high spirits.
November was rough dude. Being laid off right before Thanksgiving hurt. The circumstances kept me from seeing my family. I took it all very personally. Every day I’d wake up and think that this couldn’t be happening. But it was. My work was important to me. It was important to the people I interacted with. To not have that anymore was different. I don’t think calling it bad would be right, but it just felt wrong. Like I’d fallen into this alternate universe and didn’t belong in the place I found myself in. These feelings built up and led to the bad beginnings of December. November was the lowest I’d been in a long time. The rest of the year won’t be as long as these and will just be highlights.
In September,
toumakthegryphon bought the two of us tickets to my favorite CFB team’s home opener. I finally got to meet the giant, and while the game itself was uhhhh disappointing to say the least, the entire trip was a blast and the highlight of my year. Thanks buddy <3
In August, I turned 25. That’s the closest information you’ll get to my birthday 😉
In August, the lads and I completed both normal and challenge mode Day 1 King’s Fall. Massive shoutout to the lads toumakthegryphon, 
galeboomer, 
subitokurai, 
spiffyjuize, and 
asbellhant.
In August, I also completed Subnautica: Below Zero and totally did not cry. https://twitter.com/Gylphie/status/.....Hhz3R9YCv_2ZSA
In July I took my first vacation since before COVID to Disney World. It was a nice time.
In April, I started my descent in meme madness and it has only gotten worse and the next time I do something like this, the world will truly regret giving me access to technology https://twitter.com/Gylphie/status/.....Hhz3R9YCv_2ZSA
In March, the same lads as above and I finished the Vow of the Disciple contest mode Day 1 raid. That was fucking amazing and the greatest experience I’ve ever had in a multiplayer game.
In February, forget not 💜 .
In January, I had the best chicken in the world. That’s it, the highlight of January. Well, I guess we also had some pretty fuckin’ amazing NFL playoff games.
If you’re wondering if this is therapeutic for me, it definitely was. Underneath the majority of 2022 was an intense anxiety and stress. It led me to retract even more than I previously had from a lot of things. I hope that with much of that being gone now, I can begin to build back to where I was and make up some lost ground. As for other things in 2023, expect more Day 1 completions, the complete melting of my brain from memes, and me entering into my goblin phase with art.
Grapeside Chat 2022
With the spaghetti there all spilled on a month-by-month basis, on to some of the interesting, fun, and or stupid stuff going on.
Obligatory Social Interaction Stuff for Friends: I fucking suck at keeping up with people and starting conversations and/or reaching out to do things. I get pretty intense anxiety doing so, so if we’ve grown apart or it seems I’m MIA, I’m just a bit of an anxious wreck and am always down to clown.
Conventions: It could happen in 2023. I very nearly said “fuck it” and grabbed a room in downtown Chicago with a one-day pass to MFF this year, but my sixth sense/gut told me it wouldn’t be a good idea. Turns out it was right since I was laid off very soon after making the decision to not do my Plan B trip to MFF.
SO, what’s the plan for 2023? I might try to see some of the lads down in Dallas around the time TFF happens. BLFC is off the table unless I get a massive jump in salary at my next job since getting to Reno for me is very expensive. FWA is the most likely of the bunch since it is by far the most doable for me. MFF is too far away to tell, but I might make my Plan B the go-to plan for 2023 and spend the majority of my time in Chicago seeing the sight, hanging with my best bud from high school who lives there, and seeing who all at MFF wants to come along for things in downtown when I’m not at Rosemont.
LFG: I’m interested in getting a 3D model of Gideon sometime this year for VRChat. If you know any lads who would be able to do a good job with a lad like Gideon, I’d appreciate you dropping their socials in the comments!
Art with the Lad ™️: If we are mutuals either here or on Twitter or chat elsewhere and you'd like to get art, drop a note or message where you have me! I'm down for a lot of things as long as we can find an artist! I'm especially interested if you want to get anything involved paws and/or corruption 👀
Roll Credits
To the lads that made 2022 bearable:
Team Goated with the Sauce (Sexual Style)
hyperactivecoconuts for running some of the best and most emotional D&D sessions I’ve ever played in.
lockhrin for being one of the funniest and most quotable people to be around.
radruler because gaming.
blown-ego for putting up with my memery, making some A+ Gideon meme, and always being a pleasure to chat with.
FOG for some wonderful game and movie nights.
Chipotle
Burritos
The frequent Lads of Lad’s Landing
All yall on Twitter who have to put up with my bullshit from dumb memes to bad gaming opinions.
I'm hopeful for 2023. I think I'll get this job I'm gunning for and will be happy. I'll get to stay where I am and make more than i was before. I'm going to keep up with my exercise and hopefully surprise a few people at a convention when I look nothing like Gideon LOL
As for yall, pay yourselves on the back. You made it through another year. Whether it was hard or easy, rough or smooth, making it through any year is something to take some pride in and a moment to recognize that. I sincerely hope that 2023 brings nothing but the best for you. I hope that it improves upon 2022.
That's it for this year's journal. See ya in a year :)
So here’s something. This is the fourth time I’ve opened this document. It is currently January 1st, 2023. I started this writeup back on December 1st when I wasn’t in the best headspace. I even have a line in there about how when I post this, I’ll have edited it multiple times. Good foresight, Gylphie.
The original was far more negative. What you get to see here is all those emotions finally processed. I write these up every year now as a sort of therapy and also a way to share what’s going on in my life to those who are interested. I feel like we so often forget the human aspect. Locked behind a screen and only hearing the voice or seeing the text of someone can sometimes isolate us from the very real things happening in someone’s life. We try not to speak about the negatives in life because it can be a burden for others who are not asking for it. Other times, we avoid speaking of the successes and achievements in our lives for fear of looking boisterous or sparking envy. Well, at least I do. Except for this journal.
Let’s recount the major moments of 2022 for me, both good and bad.
December was rough, but ended in an unexpected high note. I struggled greatly at the beginning of the month. Many folks don’t know I have an emotional disability. It is something I hide well. I structure my entire day and life around keeping it under wraps. But in December, the wraps were worn thin. As I’ll bring up in the part about November, I was hit hard by my layoff. A central part of how I structured my week was knocked out suddenly, and with it, the whole way I lived. Suddenly, I wasn’t just fighting the normal negative feelings you’d feel with a layoff, but I was also fighting against the destabilization of my way that I kept myself in check. It was hard man. To feel and know that some of your sanity is weaning away is distressing. Through a lot of resilience and effort, I was able to recognize these things and soon was able to restructure and stabilize. Instead of having my job be the routine thing I structured my day and life around, I made exercising the core pillar supporting everything else. While I had been going on 2.5 mile walks daily for a while and had strengthened my injured knee to the strongest it has been in 5 years, adding in a full exercise regiment has been great for both my physical and emotional health. It was much needed for what else December would end up holding. As the holiday rolled around, I made my way out to my parents. Unfortunately, my grandfather also entered hospice care as I arrived. The circumstances of the situation required me to cycle with my father on taking care of him. It’s been hard, I won’t lie. To see death slowly take someone is harrowing. I’ve made my peace with the inevitable and won’t be hurt by it, but it’s given me much to think about. Despite death lingering in these last days of 2022, I was able to end it on a positive note. I have a great shot at a fantastic job that I’d be happy in. I’m hopeful for it and was glad that I could end 2022 in high spirits.
November was rough dude. Being laid off right before Thanksgiving hurt. The circumstances kept me from seeing my family. I took it all very personally. Every day I’d wake up and think that this couldn’t be happening. But it was. My work was important to me. It was important to the people I interacted with. To not have that anymore was different. I don’t think calling it bad would be right, but it just felt wrong. Like I’d fallen into this alternate universe and didn’t belong in the place I found myself in. These feelings built up and led to the bad beginnings of December. November was the lowest I’d been in a long time. The rest of the year won’t be as long as these and will just be highlights.
In September,
toumakthegryphon bought the two of us tickets to my favorite CFB team’s home opener. I finally got to meet the giant, and while the game itself was uhhhh disappointing to say the least, the entire trip was a blast and the highlight of my year. Thanks buddy <3In August, I turned 25. That’s the closest information you’ll get to my birthday 😉
In August, the lads and I completed both normal and challenge mode Day 1 King’s Fall. Massive shoutout to the lads
toumakthegryphon, 
galeboomer, 
subitokurai, 
spiffyjuize, and 
asbellhant.In August, I also completed Subnautica: Below Zero and totally did not cry. https://twitter.com/Gylphie/status/.....Hhz3R9YCv_2ZSA
In July I took my first vacation since before COVID to Disney World. It was a nice time.
In April, I started my descent in meme madness and it has only gotten worse and the next time I do something like this, the world will truly regret giving me access to technology https://twitter.com/Gylphie/status/.....Hhz3R9YCv_2ZSA
In March, the same lads as above and I finished the Vow of the Disciple contest mode Day 1 raid. That was fucking amazing and the greatest experience I’ve ever had in a multiplayer game.
In February, forget not 💜 .
In January, I had the best chicken in the world. That’s it, the highlight of January. Well, I guess we also had some pretty fuckin’ amazing NFL playoff games.
If you’re wondering if this is therapeutic for me, it definitely was. Underneath the majority of 2022 was an intense anxiety and stress. It led me to retract even more than I previously had from a lot of things. I hope that with much of that being gone now, I can begin to build back to where I was and make up some lost ground. As for other things in 2023, expect more Day 1 completions, the complete melting of my brain from memes, and me entering into my goblin phase with art.
Grapeside Chat 2022
With the spaghetti there all spilled on a month-by-month basis, on to some of the interesting, fun, and or stupid stuff going on.
Obligatory Social Interaction Stuff for Friends: I fucking suck at keeping up with people and starting conversations and/or reaching out to do things. I get pretty intense anxiety doing so, so if we’ve grown apart or it seems I’m MIA, I’m just a bit of an anxious wreck and am always down to clown.
Conventions: It could happen in 2023. I very nearly said “fuck it” and grabbed a room in downtown Chicago with a one-day pass to MFF this year, but my sixth sense/gut told me it wouldn’t be a good idea. Turns out it was right since I was laid off very soon after making the decision to not do my Plan B trip to MFF.
SO, what’s the plan for 2023? I might try to see some of the lads down in Dallas around the time TFF happens. BLFC is off the table unless I get a massive jump in salary at my next job since getting to Reno for me is very expensive. FWA is the most likely of the bunch since it is by far the most doable for me. MFF is too far away to tell, but I might make my Plan B the go-to plan for 2023 and spend the majority of my time in Chicago seeing the sight, hanging with my best bud from high school who lives there, and seeing who all at MFF wants to come along for things in downtown when I’m not at Rosemont.
LFG: I’m interested in getting a 3D model of Gideon sometime this year for VRChat. If you know any lads who would be able to do a good job with a lad like Gideon, I’d appreciate you dropping their socials in the comments!
Art with the Lad ™️: If we are mutuals either here or on Twitter or chat elsewhere and you'd like to get art, drop a note or message where you have me! I'm down for a lot of things as long as we can find an artist! I'm especially interested if you want to get anything involved paws and/or corruption 👀
Roll Credits
To the lads that made 2022 bearable:
Team Goated with the Sauce (Sexual Style)
hyperactivecoconuts for running some of the best and most emotional D&D sessions I’ve ever played in.
lockhrin for being one of the funniest and most quotable people to be around.
radruler because gaming.
blown-ego for putting up with my memery, making some A+ Gideon meme, and always being a pleasure to chat with.FOG for some wonderful game and movie nights.
Chipotle
Burritos
The frequent Lads of Lad’s Landing
All yall on Twitter who have to put up with my bullshit from dumb memes to bad gaming opinions.
I'm hopeful for 2023. I think I'll get this job I'm gunning for and will be happy. I'll get to stay where I am and make more than i was before. I'm going to keep up with my exercise and hopefully surprise a few people at a convention when I look nothing like Gideon LOL
As for yall, pay yourselves on the back. You made it through another year. Whether it was hard or easy, rough or smooth, making it through any year is something to take some pride in and a moment to recognize that. I sincerely hope that 2023 brings nothing but the best for you. I hope that it improves upon 2022.
That's it for this year's journal. See ya in a year :)
Love ya too Vek boi
Always a pleasure to hear from you!
May 2023 start well for you by you getting that job you are striving for. *thumbs up*
What an honest breakdown of a life.
You're fuckin magical bruv. I'm glad we met <3
Always nice to just let folks see behind the very carefully crafted cool exterior (totally stole this from Mulder btw((half the stuff I say was probably from the X Files)))
AND SOON™️ I'll come down to meet yall in person!