January 2023, really some year already.

To explain somethings.

Me and my mom unfortunately became rather distant during my Highschool years after a huge falling out. Unfortunately related to me being apart of this community. We said some awful things to eachother and I'll leave it at that.

However, around 10 months ago. I finally tried to make some amends with my Mom. Because she didn't have a lot of time left...

She gotten throat cancer and it quickly spread to the back of her brain.

During these last few months. I would have a few family gatherings and with my sister, give her one personal last dinner together.

My heart however couldn't take the thought of reminding her and forgiving her for what happened all that time ago. I was so focused on keeping my distance, because I didn't want our relationship to break even more then it had...

Then on Friday she was sent to a Hospice. I visited her that same day. She was given till today to live.

My last words... "I forgive you and I love you very much." I would say to her before I left was something I should have said sooooo long ago.

But I couldn't until then... I kept those poisonous grudges... as it hurt me and especially her for so long. I really, truely was a coward, but I understood why I did it. Why it ended up this way.

I had nightmares reminding me of those awful days. All because I refused to confront them until it was nearly too late.

Today my mom passed away.


I don't want to hold grudges anymore...


It hurts too fucking much...

That being said, I learned a bit of myself during that moment too.

While it was my babyfur side which lit the fire to nearly breaking my relationship with my mom.

I don't feel bad about me being a babyfur/abdl. Well... I try not to be anyway.

I've been battling with feeling disgusted with myself being one for a long time. But it's enough.

I will honor and now especially hold nothing but love for my Mom in my heart.

But it doesn't mean I have to change who I am just to appease her either.

I am a PROUD babyfur/abdl and while it was a path that lead to heartbreaks. It also was a path that brought me happiness and more importantly... you guys. Seeing all this cuteness really does bring light to my dark heary in which I carry.

I'm not a bad person...

My MOM isn't a bad person.

I need to just accept there is good in everyone...

I need still a few days to breathe, but trust me.

This isn't a goodbye. I'll be showing you guys my adorable, albiet super kinky art once more. And I'll be proud of it.

Thanks to everyone who supported me... you guys are really special. Despite how weird we really are~ but that is why I love you guys.