so yeah i had to get a job. so sadly some of the art and stuff is gonna slow down. i got a job at a supermarket doing night stocking. which is fine since i am a night person.

however i havent been working since around 2021 so my body is sore and hating every hour of this. the job isnt that bad its just my body gets sore as all hell.

but i have to do this. so were staying at my sisters place till we have enough money to move back to my home town and maybe get a place of our own again.
the total is around $5000 saved up and we got roughly around $200 saved. i just started last week so it should be going up relitivly soon.

other then that. i really am anxious about this job. so we get 3 truck days out of the week. and last truck day was thursday last week. and that kinda broke and hurt me.

let me paint the night for you-
go in. started working, about 30 mins in, pants ripped. like front to back ripped. i had to go home and change. not only that i accidently knocked over a locker x.x. that was fun.
come back and did the work per usuall but notice everything was kinda slowing down. not just me but everyone else.
take a break. kinda hoping it would get better.
nope.
trying to get as much done and being told "you got to speed it up," "i need you to hurry up" which i get. thats what we need to do. trying to get truck done in 8 hours.
i have knee pads so they help but not a whole lot. continued feeling like shit cause i dont want to be seen as lazy so trying my damn ness to get shit done.
we leave an hour later then usual. i was suppose to be out by 6 am and drop the car off so my wife can take roomie to work. he was a bit late since i got out later.
but when i did get out i went out to the car, and had a full mental break down.i sobbed and cried for who knows how long. and when i was done i just drove home like nothing happend.

i guess it was a mix of mental strain and pure pain on my body. when i came home and tried to lay in my bed my knees shop up with pain. it made me sob again.

honest to god it hurt.

but i had the night off so i was able to recover. and last night was relively easy. but i dread tonight shift since its a night shift. honestly feeling anxious about the whole thing.

i know its like a thing my body has to get used to but i am just scared of failing.

better news though i only have to do this untill around april. so hopefully i have enough to get out of here..

anywho. i just wanted yall to know the goal at least. heres hoping we reach it sooner.

thank you guys for being here for me. i do love you all <3. i hope you guys have a great year. minds starting off rocky but im hoping to god it gets better.