Another doctor visit, blood pressure and heart are good .. well ..that's good news, but doesn't answer the question why I couldn't sleep the way I used to. Hell, last night I couldn't sleep at all until 4 in the morning again... Not gonna lie, I cried out of anger. So I finally explained all that to my doctor, he suggested me to take counseling or antidepressants. I picked counseling, I honestly can't trust antidepressants like antianxiety medication I had.. my next appointment with him is next week for blood work...
Honestly, I'm kinda afraid of sleeping... I'm afraid that if I do fall asleep whatever is in my mind or chest will jolt me up and keep me awake until 4 in the morning again. And annoyingly I wake up at 7 or 8 in the morning which that's little... Usually when I sleep that late I wake up around 10 or 11, not so early and I can't go back to sleep...
This sucks... Part of me is thinking maybe using my phone a lot is not good for me. Maybe that fuels my anxiety? My depression or stress? Videos and news about war and politics showing up out of the blue when I just wanna search for funny videos or music to listen to? I don't know...
I'm trying not to think too much but it's getting harder...

Is living on my own a very bad idea? Like...living alone is bad for my mental health? I don't even know