*Claps hands together*...Oh boy! IT's been fairly a bit of time since I've updated to make a journal or anything, but need to make this as a respective update. Sit down, drink some water or tea, and relax I suppose, cause I got stuff to say.

Alot has happened during this time period, but I'll try to simplify it as much as possible so won't be too much of a hassle.

To begin, I had a quite...major crisis in November, mainly very close to Thanksgiving. Very much short, I had 100% full intent to end my life around that time due to heavy circumstances. Was very much in a dark abyss of my mind and still trying to fight it off today; however, with another hospitalization (which by the way, I believe I now have a fear of hospitals), I got correct meds & a support system going. Making sure to double check with my therapist. That and I finally believe my family is beginning to be supportive n all that. I do know finally realize what I need to do though to get actually right-minded and feeling more happy about myself and others instead of just being in a pit of despair & feeling like a lost cause or something like that. Just very glad I have supportive pals when I need it. Can't get that much around lately.

As for art wise. Listen, I've been trying to keep up with commission. some I owe for a long time and never left my mind. However, keeping up with them with both a job I extremely hate, emotions battling me, and the horrid feeling of lack-of-motivation, it's...hard to keep up. I've been doing some random doodles on my meantime when I had both the chance and motivation, which is rarely now n days; yet I know that's very much no excuse. With said, anyone I owe commissions to, if you want a refund, you're 100% owed to it and will give a bit of interest as an apology. It's horrible ethic to leave a person hanging & with that, I apologies. <w>; Again just...sorry. That and I realized I don't tend well to pressure, which is probably why lately I've been so reluctant accept or do commissions due to the fear of failure. Again no excuse, just..ech, expressing thoughts.

Overall, I do wanna make changes, both to better myself and to share my creativeness more often with others while being able to provide services for others. I just heavily need to figure out how to do so to both compliment my phycological needs and my physical needs without stressing myself thin and having another crisis. Other than that, I have some few pictures to be uploaded so expect that.

Thank you for your time very much and I hope everyone has a good one or getting better.