I'm so ****ing tired of spending hours following tutorials, only for the projects to fail and break, even though I'm typing things verbatim. I go on stackoverflow, and people are just like, "idk man. try this." and then it ends up giving me even more errors.

I'm just at the point where I feel like I'm wasting my life on this bullshit, and I'll never get it, and never do anything with it.

I'm tired of holding out hope that I'll make money some day. I'm tired of hoping that I can make things that bring people happiness, or that they'll get use out of. I'm tired of wishing that I could change the world for the better in some small way.

I'm frustrated. And things don't seem to change, regardless how much time and effort I put in.

So... I quit.

I'll just keep being crappy at art. At least it's something that won't break. Sure, I'll probably never get to a point where I'm actually able to support myself with it.... -_- but, I guess I can at least try to get better. :/ I still wish I could make an impact on the world... I wish I could make someone happy. I wish I could make myself happy.

I'm not special. I have no skills or talents. I can't even tolerate basic jobs without failing, freaking out, panicking, crying, and fucking everything up. I can't tolerate being yelled at, sexually harassed, or any other environment that drives me to self-medicate on a daily basis just to get through it. I'd rather be jobless than that. And yet my psychiatrist says I don't need anxiety medication. rofl lololol.. It's not like I'm asking for xanax. I don't want xanax, I don't even like it. I just want something that will make me okay. that's it. I just want to be okay. :/

Sorry.