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40 Years and Goating Strong
2 years ago
Time keeps marching on. Some years it's more perceptible than others. It doesn't feel like my 40th birthday snuck up on me, but I don't exactly feel like I thought I'd feel at 40, either. Ironically, given my 'sona, my hair hasn't actually started turning white yet. (I'm kind of hoping that it all decides to change at once where, one morning, I do a double-take in the mirror.)
Looking back at the last decade, I'm honestly astonished where I am now. When I entered my 30s, I had just begun climbing out of a pit of depression from an emotionally abusive roommate situation. New friendships were emerging, filling the hole left by those I had cut ties with (or who cut ties with me) in the drama from my 28th and 29th years. I was living completely on my own for the first time ever and learning the ups and downs of being solely responsible for a living space. I was slowly picking away at my comic, UTC, steadily feeling more confident about its long-term durability and reigniting my commitment to making comics as a hobby. I was wondering if I was stuck in the job I had at the time, worried about paying bills. Oh, and my car was just about to fall apart and I'd never shopped for a new car before!
Ten years later and... damn, what a change this has been. I've been doing very well, all things considered. I learned hard lessons, said farewell to my last surviving grandparents and watched my parents become retirees, and through it all faced terrifying high-risk/high-reward life choices. I held an Iron Artist challenge to pay for the new car, and a whole bunch of you came out to support me.
It feels like my 30s was the decade that 10-year-old Cobalt thought his 20s would be. I began to do more things that a younger, more timid Cobalt would have shied away from, such as taking trips to other countries and proactively quitting jobs that weren't going well. Those experiences came with costs, of course, but happily led to amazing rewards, both expected and unexpected. I made a TON of new friends thanks to sites like this and furry conventions.
I sought counseling and treatment for anxiety, something I wish I had done much sooner and am glad I finally got up the courage to do, because it's not only eased my mind, it's made me a better person. I grappled with and finally came to peace with my sexuality. I learned that I am, indeed, loved.
I'm not writing this journal to brag. I just want you to know that I'm well, happy and healthy. And if you're younger, I'm here to say, hey, 40 ain't that bad. There's never an end to doing new things and taking steps toward your dreams, as long as you try and you learn. I hope that this year gives you some great opportunities.
So, what's next... in the immediate future, I'll be going to Furnal Equinox in two weeks. Beyond that, I'm hoping to finish UTC's Phase Three and collect it into a new book, then take a break from that series to shift to new and different shorter-term projects for a while. I would really like to travel to see some longtime friends who I haven't gotten a proper chance to catch up with since Covid started. The hardest thing I'm expecting this year is for my day job to become more demanding. Aside from that, there are some major house projects I need to save up for and tackle, including replacing the roof and the water system.
That's...well, that's enough! I am so happy and so blessed to be where I am, to know so many amazing people and to have your support and encouragement. Yes, hard times surely lie ahead, but I have never been in a better position to face them.
Thank you, friends, fans and followers. I wouldn't be the kimera I am without you, and I'm excited to find out what's next for us.
Looking back at the last decade, I'm honestly astonished where I am now. When I entered my 30s, I had just begun climbing out of a pit of depression from an emotionally abusive roommate situation. New friendships were emerging, filling the hole left by those I had cut ties with (or who cut ties with me) in the drama from my 28th and 29th years. I was living completely on my own for the first time ever and learning the ups and downs of being solely responsible for a living space. I was slowly picking away at my comic, UTC, steadily feeling more confident about its long-term durability and reigniting my commitment to making comics as a hobby. I was wondering if I was stuck in the job I had at the time, worried about paying bills. Oh, and my car was just about to fall apart and I'd never shopped for a new car before!
Ten years later and... damn, what a change this has been. I've been doing very well, all things considered. I learned hard lessons, said farewell to my last surviving grandparents and watched my parents become retirees, and through it all faced terrifying high-risk/high-reward life choices. I held an Iron Artist challenge to pay for the new car, and a whole bunch of you came out to support me.
It feels like my 30s was the decade that 10-year-old Cobalt thought his 20s would be. I began to do more things that a younger, more timid Cobalt would have shied away from, such as taking trips to other countries and proactively quitting jobs that weren't going well. Those experiences came with costs, of course, but happily led to amazing rewards, both expected and unexpected. I made a TON of new friends thanks to sites like this and furry conventions.
I sought counseling and treatment for anxiety, something I wish I had done much sooner and am glad I finally got up the courage to do, because it's not only eased my mind, it's made me a better person. I grappled with and finally came to peace with my sexuality. I learned that I am, indeed, loved.
I'm not writing this journal to brag. I just want you to know that I'm well, happy and healthy. And if you're younger, I'm here to say, hey, 40 ain't that bad. There's never an end to doing new things and taking steps toward your dreams, as long as you try and you learn. I hope that this year gives you some great opportunities.
So, what's next... in the immediate future, I'll be going to Furnal Equinox in two weeks. Beyond that, I'm hoping to finish UTC's Phase Three and collect it into a new book, then take a break from that series to shift to new and different shorter-term projects for a while. I would really like to travel to see some longtime friends who I haven't gotten a proper chance to catch up with since Covid started. The hardest thing I'm expecting this year is for my day job to become more demanding. Aside from that, there are some major house projects I need to save up for and tackle, including replacing the roof and the water system.
That's...well, that's enough! I am so happy and so blessed to be where I am, to know so many amazing people and to have your support and encouragement. Yes, hard times surely lie ahead, but I have never been in a better position to face them.
Thank you, friends, fans and followers. I wouldn't be the kimera I am without you, and I'm excited to find out what's next for us.
I hope the next decade will be equally rewarding as the last.
I think it's because we want it, they're not showing up. (That an my wife plucked one white chin whisker and that was it. I think she stole my white)
Life is strange. It never follows a plan, even if you're born into money (according to the rich and disconnected from reality)
You've moved forward and made some interesting choices. And made it to level 40, No small feat this day in age. I'm glad you've found a way to address your anxiety.
That's not easy this day in age.
Here's hoping the 40 being the "new 20" isn't a misnomer.
I wish you a pleasant time at FE, I have never been to a fur-con. So not sure what to expect. Pleeease take pictures, and catalogue the fun
I wish hair went white all at once as well. I found my first ones at... 26, I think? Recently turned 30, and it's still just a light scattering that's not obvious, but also can't be unseen once you notice it. :/
I do feel lucky that I still have a good *amount* of hair. My sister's husband started going bald in college and has been fully shaving his head for a couple of decades now.
Dominus tecum
"It feels like my 30s was the decade that 10-year-old Cobalt thought his 20s would be." I know this feeling well. My 20s were great and all, but my 30s were rather more adventurous.