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Post Suspension #1 -- Becoming Yosheo 2.0
2 years ago
Hamha!
Allow me to start by apologizing for, yet again, disappearing without a trace. This time around, though, it was for a very good reason.
As most of you know, I was declared 100% blind on December 15th, 2016. I had been losing my physical eyesight since the day I was born as a result of Congenital Glaucoma. Despite many doctors prognosis of my eyesight being lost before I turned a year old, I managed to retain various levels of ‘usable vision’ until about the end of September of 2016. (My retina detached in my right eye sometime between the end of September and beginning of October. This resulted in my third retinal reattachment since August 2012. The reattachment did not work, but my brain had thought it had made some level of recovery through what is known as ‘Charles Bennet Syndrome’. Charles Bennet Syndrome is a fancy way of saying what I saw was actually a hallucination fabricated by my brain using preexisting visual data to adapt to the optic nerve providing no visual data for my brain to process.).
This is a good time for me to share how, I feel, it is better to be born blind over losing all your physical eyesight over the course of your life. Why? Without ever having eyesight allows you, in my opinion, to remain blissfully ignorant towards all in which one can do through the gift of eyesight. However, as is often said of many things, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”.
I lost my left eye’s functionality before I turned six years old, but the vision in my right made me barely remember, or even miss, having use of my left eye. This is because my right eye still allowed me to read books, play cards, and earn a genuine reputation as a gamer throughout my primary, secondary, undergraduate, and graduate studies. Unfortunately, Glaucoma has no cure, yet, and eye transplants will not be even in the human trial stages until well after I waddle off to that great duck pond in the sky. What this meant is my efforts to prevent going 100% blind would eventually start to fail until all viable surgical interventions had become exhausted. It just so happened that this process was expedited by underestimating a ‘Epithelium Defect’ / dry spot on my cornea that came with the completion of an otherwise successful cataract surgery in November 2006. (Dry spots / epithelium defects are common after eye surgery due to how they have to use ‘special tools’ to keep your eyelids open throughout the course of the procedure. Those without a lifelong ocular disease recover from this dryness without anything more than a few rewetting drops and/or ointments. Since my eye had nearly 27 years of disease afflicting it, the harmless defect was not able to recover. This resulted in the formation of a ‘Corneal Ulcer’, which is what took my left eye’s sight back in 1985.).
The reason doctors ‘Practice’ medicine is due to how no two humans are truly alike. Those who suffered from coursework in ‘Statistics’ and/or ‘Calculous’ should be familiar with what is known as a ‘Bell Shaped Curve’. Those not born, or later afflicted, with a chronic condition fall into the middle region / zero point of this statistical measurement. More than 80% of humanity is well within this ideal point for receiving successful medical care.
Since it is impossible to account for hundreds upon thousands of atypical possibilities, doctors are taught what will be able to help the majority of patients while knowing to expect cases that do not follow the tried-and-true treatments in which have become successfully established. Thankfully most doctors use ‘best practices’ while identifying ways in which to treat those who, like me, become ‘Outliers’ who do not fall safely within the ‘Standard Deviation’ / ‘Bell Shaped Curve’ of medical cases.
So what does this have to do with my on-and-off activity online with my friends and followers? Well, given 2017 was my first year learning to acclimate as someone with zero eyesight, 2018 was when ‘Tina Bear’ left me while I took on my first job since losing all my eyesight, 2019 was when my right eye had to be physically removed from my body, 2020 was when I lost the job I had gotten in 2018, 2021 was when I got the first job that was ‘supposed’ to help gainfully employ those of us with profound disabilities before learning they really did not, and 2022 was Lucca moving in with me as everyone who possibly could make my life miserable made sure to do so with the physical removal of my left eye headlining all the psychological trauma 2022 had to offer my way.
Lucca has helped me to FINALLY start the genuine process of moving past the life I had with eyesight to the life I now live where I will never see anything for myself ever again. He has been insanely patient as he works to help me feel good about the person I am and what I can do without feeling burdened by what once was and will never be again. The result is that I have become Lucca’s Lil’ Duckling in adventuring about the city in search of what can best assist us in making our home into our home. When I waddle behind Lucca from place-to-place on an almost daily basis, I do not think of my past life. I also do not slip into a deep, dark depression when I perform chores and execute physical labors that help Lucca to create a happy home that, through him, I see without having the need for my eyes. (I smile when I visualize my diapered-duckling self cheerfully flapping behind ‘Papa Lucca’. Helping Lucca makes me a happy dino-ducky boy and nuthatch girl who is, when all is done for the day, can do my best creative work while feeling proud to be all of who and what I am.).
Thank you for following me on my journey and extra thanks for all of your support to Lucca until I was able to bring him to be my partner / caretaker. We make a great team that will increasingly be bringing you amazing stories and art that go well beyond our respective disabilities.
Your Pal,
Your Pal:
yosh-e-o
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/b][/i]
Allow me to start by apologizing for, yet again, disappearing without a trace. This time around, though, it was for a very good reason.
As most of you know, I was declared 100% blind on December 15th, 2016. I had been losing my physical eyesight since the day I was born as a result of Congenital Glaucoma. Despite many doctors prognosis of my eyesight being lost before I turned a year old, I managed to retain various levels of ‘usable vision’ until about the end of September of 2016. (My retina detached in my right eye sometime between the end of September and beginning of October. This resulted in my third retinal reattachment since August 2012. The reattachment did not work, but my brain had thought it had made some level of recovery through what is known as ‘Charles Bennet Syndrome’. Charles Bennet Syndrome is a fancy way of saying what I saw was actually a hallucination fabricated by my brain using preexisting visual data to adapt to the optic nerve providing no visual data for my brain to process.).
This is a good time for me to share how, I feel, it is better to be born blind over losing all your physical eyesight over the course of your life. Why? Without ever having eyesight allows you, in my opinion, to remain blissfully ignorant towards all in which one can do through the gift of eyesight. However, as is often said of many things, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”.
I lost my left eye’s functionality before I turned six years old, but the vision in my right made me barely remember, or even miss, having use of my left eye. This is because my right eye still allowed me to read books, play cards, and earn a genuine reputation as a gamer throughout my primary, secondary, undergraduate, and graduate studies. Unfortunately, Glaucoma has no cure, yet, and eye transplants will not be even in the human trial stages until well after I waddle off to that great duck pond in the sky. What this meant is my efforts to prevent going 100% blind would eventually start to fail until all viable surgical interventions had become exhausted. It just so happened that this process was expedited by underestimating a ‘Epithelium Defect’ / dry spot on my cornea that came with the completion of an otherwise successful cataract surgery in November 2006. (Dry spots / epithelium defects are common after eye surgery due to how they have to use ‘special tools’ to keep your eyelids open throughout the course of the procedure. Those without a lifelong ocular disease recover from this dryness without anything more than a few rewetting drops and/or ointments. Since my eye had nearly 27 years of disease afflicting it, the harmless defect was not able to recover. This resulted in the formation of a ‘Corneal Ulcer’, which is what took my left eye’s sight back in 1985.).
The reason doctors ‘Practice’ medicine is due to how no two humans are truly alike. Those who suffered from coursework in ‘Statistics’ and/or ‘Calculous’ should be familiar with what is known as a ‘Bell Shaped Curve’. Those not born, or later afflicted, with a chronic condition fall into the middle region / zero point of this statistical measurement. More than 80% of humanity is well within this ideal point for receiving successful medical care.
Since it is impossible to account for hundreds upon thousands of atypical possibilities, doctors are taught what will be able to help the majority of patients while knowing to expect cases that do not follow the tried-and-true treatments in which have become successfully established. Thankfully most doctors use ‘best practices’ while identifying ways in which to treat those who, like me, become ‘Outliers’ who do not fall safely within the ‘Standard Deviation’ / ‘Bell Shaped Curve’ of medical cases.
So what does this have to do with my on-and-off activity online with my friends and followers? Well, given 2017 was my first year learning to acclimate as someone with zero eyesight, 2018 was when ‘Tina Bear’ left me while I took on my first job since losing all my eyesight, 2019 was when my right eye had to be physically removed from my body, 2020 was when I lost the job I had gotten in 2018, 2021 was when I got the first job that was ‘supposed’ to help gainfully employ those of us with profound disabilities before learning they really did not, and 2022 was Lucca moving in with me as everyone who possibly could make my life miserable made sure to do so with the physical removal of my left eye headlining all the psychological trauma 2022 had to offer my way.
Lucca has helped me to FINALLY start the genuine process of moving past the life I had with eyesight to the life I now live where I will never see anything for myself ever again. He has been insanely patient as he works to help me feel good about the person I am and what I can do without feeling burdened by what once was and will never be again. The result is that I have become Lucca’s Lil’ Duckling in adventuring about the city in search of what can best assist us in making our home into our home. When I waddle behind Lucca from place-to-place on an almost daily basis, I do not think of my past life. I also do not slip into a deep, dark depression when I perform chores and execute physical labors that help Lucca to create a happy home that, through him, I see without having the need for my eyes. (I smile when I visualize my diapered-duckling self cheerfully flapping behind ‘Papa Lucca’. Helping Lucca makes me a happy dino-ducky boy and nuthatch girl who is, when all is done for the day, can do my best creative work while feeling proud to be all of who and what I am.).
Thank you for following me on my journey and extra thanks for all of your support to Lucca until I was able to bring him to be my partner / caretaker. We make a great team that will increasingly be bringing you amazing stories and art that go well beyond our respective disabilities.
Your Pal,
Your Pal:
yosh-e-o---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/b][/i]
Im assuming you'd still use FA, but considering everything, I wouldn't be surprised if you stopped.
(BTW I've draw some things for you on Twitter)
Twitter isn't my absolute favorite. The only thing keeping me sane is being able to split the time between Twitter's 'Web-Site' and 'App' versions. (Each version empowers me to do different things, but not all things in a proverbial one-stop-shop.)
I'm just thankful for the chance to get back on FA to sort things out and work with Lucca to ensure I can do fun things with my pals. I've definitely missed you..
Also, Twitter has limits on how much you can type per post.
I'm glad you are back, will probably get back to writing stories on here. (while working on my novel projects)
Not to be a nag, but does this mean you will open up story slots soon? I mean, I want to financially support you with my beta reading job, idk how bad you are struggling and if you need the money ASAP. I have the documents ready now to beta read.
***
I'll do story commissions again soon. However, for the most part, I'm having my partner assist me with a Patreon page that, for $1.50 per month, anyone can support. (I'm still working out stuff for higher tiers than $1.50, but I'm doing it more to give myself a sense of having a job where I am unable to get any employer to bring me on due to how misunderstood and inaccessible many business systems are to those who are blind / low vision and rely on specialized tools to 'bridge the gap' so they can interact just like our peers.).
I know I've been horrible in keeping up with things. Real soon, I feel I will have a plan to be regularly active while furthering my efforts to move on past the sadness I've yet to rid myself of brought on by my total lack of eyesight.
Friendship is magic and, truly, I value ours very highly and always will. :)
It has been a long path until this point in your life, huh? I know it hasn't been extremely positive, but well... At least I hope you could take some positive things in the way.
I hope I can know more stuff from you really soon Yosh.
Just to keep you up to date with the most recent things. The public contest for teachers keeps moving, on a short while we should have the interviews, the expectancy is that in about 4 months we are called to choose workplace. And I'm already in the 33% of the mandatory course to learn about learning methodologies and it is going pretty well.
Also, sadly, PayPal banned may account because... yes... so I wouldn't be able to take more commissions...
***
Oh, no! I am guessing there was a really stupid reason for them blocking you from PayPal. It still annoys me on how, just like how society views those with disabilities, it also fails to acknowledge that not everyone in one single region are what outdated stereotypes expect them to be.
What does make me happy is how there are some ways you and I have found to get around such unkindness. The first is how I did succeed in buying you 'Thems Fighting Herds' on Steam and then how I got the English VA of Sweetie Belle, Clare Corlette, to send a shout out to your lovable Goldigony. Perhaps we can find other ways that are worthwhile to you that we can do to allow you to return to taking commissions?
***
Way to go on making such great progress towards being a teacher. You certainly have put forth a lot of effort that, genuinely, makes the educational system within the State I live in seem like it is a joke. I shall always admire your determination to make the best life you can for yourself. Even when everything seems like it will not get any better, you show just how talented and strong you are both in the creative arts and putting all your talents to work to be the best you can possibly be. *Feels tears forming* You really make me remember why I cannot allow my troubles keep me down. I will more than just "The Blind Guy".
***
I look forward to having creative and fun talks with you soon, Sweetie! Thanks for keeping me updated on your progress and I give you extra thanks for never losing faith that life can improve regardless of the circumstances we must overcome to do so. :)
Yes, the reason of PayPal to ban my account was that "I was accumulating a lot of claims" with a total of 0... I have no idea what happened, but I cannot recover my account unless a kind of miracle happened. The only possible way would be creating one with fake data which is probably another good reason to ban me.
My best idea to take commissions again could be opening a Patreon, but I'm not sure how would that work. After this experience I really don't feel confident of taking money from my art, it simply seems like a stupid idea to keep trying. *sighs*
You have really did a lot of nice things for me Yosh. The audio of Sweetie talking about Goldigony is one of the most special things somecreature have done to me. Also, I didn't mention it before, but I bought a physical copy of Them's Fightin' Herds on Nintendo Switch for my brother as a Heart's Warming Eve gift. I bought it on Amazon during the black Friday sales. It was really nice, my brother liked the gift a lot, especially because it is a really exclusive piece that you can be sure that not a lot of people has here. And we have already played a couple of times and it has been really fun.
I hope you can catch up some of my recent submissions, because you're surely going to love them. I took some lessons from an anatomy course I bought with the money of the commissions and I improved a lot on a couple of art aspects. Oh! And for the love of Celestia, my current art project is going to be amazing! You can surely don't lose it when finished. I'm not going to spoil you anything, but you're going to love it for sure!
I hope to, thanks to Lucca's patience and kindness, to get more on schedule to keeping up with you and other pals, Kaffre. In the meantime, I wish you so much love, kindness, and good times ahead. :)
I have to ask: Being 100% blind, what assistive technologies are you using to compose, post, and respond to messages on FA?
***
Since 1998, I have been taught to use the screen reading software, JAWS. I believe it stands for 'Job Access With Speech', but I get lost in how it shares a named with the killer shark from one of Steven Spielberg's earliest movies. <LoL!>
JAWS is like a virtual pair of eyes in how, at least in the English version, it scans your screen for text, links, edit boxes, and other content that it will default read out loud from top-left to bottom-right. There are a lot of special keystorkes / key commands that can expedite the process of finding, accessing, editing, and entering specific data on a given screen / window, but to talk on that would be long and super-duper wordy. :)
The downside to JAWS is that it is made to look for the 'text' behind the scenes of a given application / software program. In 1998, when I really did not need the software as much, text was a part of image files, web sites, office applications, etc. However, notably starting around 2010, app / software developers started to release software prematurely without taking proper time to ensure it worked correctly for a standard, non-disabled user. This lead to once usable software, (Microsoft Windows, MS Office, Etc.) losing the ability to support those using once faithful tools to interact with systems that once could easily be worked with whether you had eyesight, or not.
I lost the rest of my eyesight in 2016. The first job I took post going 100% blind was one that, due to technology being rushed out with no regard to 'Accessibility Testing',, I was forced out of by the end of 2019 as the 50% of systems I could use became unpredictable as to when they would, or would not, properly function with the most up-to-date version of the JAWS screen reader. (Before I had no other choice but electively leave, I spoke with my Manager who put the situation quite well by saying, "We no longer live in a time where it is possible to vet technology before it is released.".).
***
The other tool I use is the Apple iPhone SE. The iPhone SE, unlike other iPhones, retains the 'Thumb-Print Access Button'. Without this button, it is very, very hard to use the flat-screened piece Smart Phone. (The 'Thumb Print' / 'Home' button allows you a physical / tactile way to know where you are in relation to the screen, easily access the 'App Switcher', and perform other functions. This is crucial when using the built-in ' Accessibility' / 'Voice Over' feature. This feature, needed by the blind and visually-impaired, increases the effort required to use the phone by those who have no need for such an accessibility feature. You have to finger the phone in a countless number of ways to compensate for what those without visual disabilities do not. So, if you ever want to drive a fully-sighted user of an iPhone into complete insanity, turn on 'Voice Over' / 'Accessibility Mode' and see how olong it takes them before they throw the phone against a wall. <LoL!>).
***
My vision was lost both quickly and gradually. This is how I was able to do what I could until 2006 despite losing all eyesight in my left eye in 1985. My right eye did suffer slow dips in visual ability, but simple tools, like magnifiers, highlighter pens, etc., saved the day. However 2007 brought a Corneal Ulcer to my working, right eye that quickly took my vision to where I needed specialized glasses, external magnification tools, and specific software settings to perform what once I could do with just a bit of eyestrain. This only got continually worse until I was diagnosed 100% blind on December 15th, 2016.
As society is more-and-more reliant on visual means of interaction / communication, I advise everyone to take their ocular care seriously as, no lie, you are more like a toddler upon going totally blind. There is little I can do by myself and it is frustrating to me and those around me to have to help with what, even twenty years ago, I may have been able to do through tools that were supported by technology that had been properly tested and built to work with screen reading tools. :)
I have heard of JAWS, but I did not know the history of it. And you are right, things did notably change around 2010 and after. I saw this change with Windows 8. The drive for visual finesse was very pronounced, and it made me worried that visuals would overtake usability. Now, in the age of Windows 11, I'm seeing major flaws in features that once were meant to help people. Most recently I was helping someone who had high contrast turned on. They submitted the work and it looked fine on their system, but checking it on another system without high contrast resulted in their work being invisible. (The text was colored white on a white background. Why Windows 11 thought it was a good idea to retain the text color without the background color and not defaulting to black text is beyond me.) It left many people stumped and upset, including me, until we figured it out. I submitted a suggestion to Microsoft regarding the mishap, but I don't have high hopes they will fix it anytime soon.
Anyway, enough of my grievances. You have plenty of your own. But what you shared with me is valuable information that I will use. If anything, it's making me keenly aware of how technology can be improved for everyone and seek ways to make it more accessible.
***
I'll never forget a talk I had with a Microsoft technician upon learning of 'Windows 8' []not[/b] having a [Start] button. I asked the tech what I was supposed to do as, at the time, I had extremely low vision. His response, abridged and paraphrased, "That's just the way it is going to be from now on.". I challenged this response by asking, "Are you, or anyone you know, visually impaired?". I'm sure you can guess his answer.
What's even more sad is how Microsoft cost me my job working for an insurance company's Audit & Legal Services software development and maintenance department. It was for about the same reason as what happened to the person you mentioned in your response above.
What happened is that, as all software goes obsolete to make, more often than not, another cash grab, my company had to transition from Windows XP & Office 2007 to Windows 7 & Office 2010. The transition seemed seamless until I started to be asked about why I wasn't acknowledging the highlighted text in the 'Use Case' / 'Story' documents that were sent to me. As it turned out, Microsoft's default High Contrast Mode went from supporting the showing of colored text to not showing it all! (The extreme irony is that I used Microsoft's quick keys to activate the built-in High Contrast. I didn't even create a theme, or pick one within the Display Settings. I just hit [LEFT ALT] + [LEFT SHIFT] + [PRINT SCREEN] to make the PC Speaker sound off, display a message about entering High Contrast Mode, and agreeing to enter it.).
Since I worked in software development and maintenance, I was more than familiar with 'Trouble Tickets' / 'Change Requests'. So, as I started having work assignments taken away from me, I called Microsoft and asked if they could look to see what broke in the code between the previous version and current version of Windows & Office to cause this issue. After the third month of calling with no return call, or updates, I gave up and let the person know how, at least where I worked, if you didn't respond to a TC / CR within 48 hours, you'd be in big trouble. 3 months was absurb!
***
I feel we have a lot we can learn from each other. Thanks much for your support over on my Patreon and know that, as I can get the help to do so, I will be trying to make updates ever Sunday, or Monday. :)