Oh man I got bad with hiding again over spring break and the returning week. The good news is that unlike the last few journals after coming out of the hidey hole, I actually had reasons that were easily noticed and isolated, and work on improving.

First was just stress. Most of you know I had a qualitative, and quantitative ton to finish for the midterm. Even writing one of the paper's a week in advance, I spent midterm week basically working most every day, taking short breaks to play Peggle Deluxe or a similarly arcade-styled game. It's behind me now, thankfully. Finals week will likely be just as busy, but a big component of the stress came from how I was doing in one class, Forensics (all the other work aside), which now I feel comfortable getting a passing grade in thanks to the major assignments shifting to being labs. Up to this point I had quizzes, and a midterm test in that class. I've never been good at testing even when I study @w@'

Secondly, health stuff. In terms of my mental health medications, I got overstimulation from my new anxiety/depression medication, Bupropion. 300mg was working pretty well, and 450mg was really nice for getting through the midterms. Not so much after, though. Affected my sleep, and gave me more anxiety than anticipated when not nearly as pre-occupied with things to do. Back down to 300mg again, which has been slowly reducing my generalized anxiety and providing me more energy, but not too much. Additionally, I've been out of ketamine for a little over a month. The new method of payment my prescriber is using, a particular website, was quite glitchy/finicky. Going to get some more prescribed again soon thanks to the website just letting me schedule without upfront payment. In any case, I'm still doing pretty alright mood wise given the months of doing it before. It just would have been really nice to have the last few weeks. As for the physical side of things, I sat a lot in order to get things done leading up to spring break. Been walking and stretching again, and my back's feeling way better. Also am overdue for some doctor visits, but I'm getting those scheduled.

Besides the medications, I had a ton of anxiety about things too. Having a lot over spring break was due to the stimulation I had from the Bupropion, but during and after, I had a severe return with social anxiety despite planning to upload a bunch again. There's a number of people I consider close who I hadn't talked to in awhile, and that anxiety just built up. After talking some of it through with people... I still hid for awhile. But I think I'm back to a better spot when it comes to my social anxiety. Having a great reduction in my generalized anxiety helped, and confiding in more peeps than I had usually done before did too. That's all about it though! Going to be returning to stuff over the next few days.

Thanks for reading, and remember that Benadryl is not a sleep aid. It's a specific allergy medication, and not a great one. You shouldn't use it for sleep (such as in zzzquil), and definitely not for deliriant purposes like in the memes that have been going around. Seriously: It inhibits the proper function of the vital neurotransmitter acetylcholine, which regulates both muscle movement, and many brain processes like memory, sleep, attention, etc.