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There's always that one artist who...
2 years ago
These are a bunch of prompts I came up with for "there's always that one artist who..."
(Note: I'm not doing this to pick on any particular artist. My hope is that anyone who reads this and is a regular commissioner can laugh and say "yeah, me too".)
THERE'S ALWAYS THAT ONE ARTIST WHO...
* ...has a gallery consisting entirely of "commissions open!" and "now streaming!" banners, yet no actual commissions or otherwise finished art
* ...hasn't updated their commission info in over a decade, meaning their info now points to a 404 link
* ...has "commission for [name]" in the description of every piece they've uploaded, yet has no discernible commission info anywhere on their page
* ...has a gallery consisting entirely of YCHs and/or WIPs, with seemingly nothing that has actually been completed
* ...has nothing but adopts generated from others' bases
* ...has been uploading steadily since 2008, yet their work still looks like it was done by a toddler in MS Paint
* ...has a great style but refuses to take commissions
* ...claims to use a raffle system, yet somehow always ends up drawing for the same three people
* ...has you blocked for no reason that you can discern
* ...opens a journal with 20 commission slots, all of which are somehow already taken the second you click on the journal
* ...has a good style, but can only do ONE body type in ONE pose
* ...has a great style, but mostly draws extreme fetishes so you're not sure if you want to associate with them lest others think you have those fetishes too
* ...has a wait list stretching back several years
* ...has a history of deleting their account and starting over at a new username, leading you to fear they might just take your money and run
* ...has a good style, but will only draw one very specific niche thing
* ...recently added the one thing you wanted to commission to their "will not draw" list
* ...recently made a huge change to their art style, typically for the worse
* ...has notes disabled and has no other contact info anywhere
* ...has a great style when they're actually doing commissions, but 90% of their gallery is shitposts that look like they were drawn in 20 minutes
* ...has a great style, but 90% of their gallery is subject matter you don't like
* ...will only draw Rule 34
* ...has really rude journal entries and/or upload descriptions (and usually also has a ton of deleted comments on every submission)
* ...has a gallery consisting entirely of cropped images covered in text, inviting you to join their Patreon to see the full image
* ...never uses titles, descriptions, or tags, so you can't ever find their art except by accident
* ...has a giant-ass watermark that covers literally the entirety of every picture
* ...has an otherwise great style, but gives every species canine faces/feet
* ...has a "will not draw" list that somehow manages to eliminate literally all of your characters from contention
(Note: I'm not doing this to pick on any particular artist. My hope is that anyone who reads this and is a regular commissioner can laugh and say "yeah, me too".)
THERE'S ALWAYS THAT ONE ARTIST WHO...
* ...has a gallery consisting entirely of "commissions open!" and "now streaming!" banners, yet no actual commissions or otherwise finished art
* ...hasn't updated their commission info in over a decade, meaning their info now points to a 404 link
* ...has "commission for [name]" in the description of every piece they've uploaded, yet has no discernible commission info anywhere on their page
* ...has a gallery consisting entirely of YCHs and/or WIPs, with seemingly nothing that has actually been completed
* ...has nothing but adopts generated from others' bases
* ...has been uploading steadily since 2008, yet their work still looks like it was done by a toddler in MS Paint
* ...has a great style but refuses to take commissions
* ...claims to use a raffle system, yet somehow always ends up drawing for the same three people
* ...has you blocked for no reason that you can discern
* ...opens a journal with 20 commission slots, all of which are somehow already taken the second you click on the journal
* ...has a good style, but can only do ONE body type in ONE pose
* ...has a great style, but mostly draws extreme fetishes so you're not sure if you want to associate with them lest others think you have those fetishes too
* ...has a wait list stretching back several years
* ...has a history of deleting their account and starting over at a new username, leading you to fear they might just take your money and run
* ...has a good style, but will only draw one very specific niche thing
* ...recently added the one thing you wanted to commission to their "will not draw" list
* ...recently made a huge change to their art style, typically for the worse
* ...has notes disabled and has no other contact info anywhere
* ...has a great style when they're actually doing commissions, but 90% of their gallery is shitposts that look like they were drawn in 20 minutes
* ...has a great style, but 90% of their gallery is subject matter you don't like
* ...will only draw Rule 34
* ...has really rude journal entries and/or upload descriptions (and usually also has a ton of deleted comments on every submission)
* ...has a gallery consisting entirely of cropped images covered in text, inviting you to join their Patreon to see the full image
* ...never uses titles, descriptions, or tags, so you can't ever find their art except by accident
* ...has a giant-ass watermark that covers literally the entirety of every picture
* ...has an otherwise great style, but gives every species canine faces/feet
* ...has a "will not draw" list that somehow manages to eliminate literally all of your characters from contention
* …has a wildly inconsistent style, so you can’t tell if you’ll like the results or not
* …uses some obscure payment method you’ve never heard of before, or eschews digital payment entirely
And yes, I have found at least one artist who insists on receiving only cash, check, or money order.
Honestly I gotta get my pages up to date and actually finish stuff outside of commissions (that I also gotta upload)
If anything, this is a good reminder to get my shit together instead of randomly bouncing around constantly unfinished ideas on my own lol
This was entertaining to read lol
One artist said they didn't want to draw androids for me anymore (after only doing a single image of one for me) because it was "too different to their normal stuff", despite the fact that at least 85% of my request was stuff they draw all the damn time. Then they started drawing synths just a few months later.
Another artist refused to draw characters from their comic as androids even though it would clearly be noncanon, saying how important it was for his characters to be consistent. Then shortly afterward he drew all of his characters having a giant orgy with another commissioner, despite the fact that the character matchups didn't make any sense to the continuity of his comic and said commissioner loves to act like characterization is super important.
As such, it's been difficult for me to find new artists who are interested in drawing the kinds of things I like, especially since I know my interests are really niche.