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🍄IN NEED OF SOME HELP🍄
2 years ago
🌈✨💫🌠🌺🍄🌿🍄🍀🌺☀️🌙🌺🍀🍄🌿🍄🌺🌠💫✨🌈
🌈☀️ KOFI 🌙🌈
UPDATE 25.05
NGL I feel weird being so open about my life here, but hey, maybe that can help somebody else and it helps to explain my situation, so let;s keep this up for now.
On my last visit I finally got the ADHD diagnosis and medication prescribed! Wooo
There are only two types of ADHD medication available in Poland so I sure am hoping at least one of them can work for me
Ive been getting used to them since last week and so far Im not seeing a big change BUT-
1 Im on the lowest dose to start off
2 Im hoping it means that my body is adjusting well to them
So yeah, making slow progress on things (that includes commissions :)!
UPDATE 30.04
I was about to have my 2nd visit with the psychiatrist to oficially get my ADHD diagnosis and meds (as far as I understood) BUT THEN my physical health striked, I got a massive migraine and stomach issues so I had to cancel my visit and when I called to schedule a new one the next day, the earliest they had a spot was May 15th.... so that added +3 WEEKS of additional wait
Now it's been a whole week of me having health issues. Cycling through my stomach, guts and head acting up :"))
And it's still a mystery as to what is even causing this 🤪
(which means I have no proper means of taking care of this. It's just trial and error and often it is the error part)
Over the past few years Ive had a bunch of different doctor visits and tests and they all came out as "clear, you're fine" WHEN IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I AM NOT and at this point even my family doctor just gave me new meds to try and has no recommendations as to what type of doctor I could visit
I'm looking for a good gynecologists to visit since I've been suspicious it might be endometriosis, so as of now I'll be trying from that angle
If you know what can cause stomach & gut issues relating to digestion, combined with headaches & migraines + possibly some other minor issues that may seem unrelated, PLEASE LET ME KNOW CAUSE IM ACTUALLY GENUENELY GOING CRAZY OVER THIS, LMAO
I don't have the energy to much but Im trying
I wasn't able to draw for the whole month and it's making me depressed because my creativity is like my driving force and thus an important part of me. If it's gone it means I'm really not doing well
It's not like I was pumping out art as often as I wanted these past few years but it almost never got as bad as it is right now 😥
how do i end this update
uuh
Buy my adopts or donate, please 💓
I debated if I should make this journal or not as Im not even sure if anybody will see or care about it
but I can at least try, right?
Ive been in a tough spot health wise recently (mostly when it comes to mental health, but my physical health is also suffering as I have some chronic issues).
My ADHD is throwing a party and decided to invite my anxiety and depression in. I really have a lot to do but no actual ability to make decent progress.
I've been barely able to draw since the beginning of the year and I have some owed art so... you can see how that's a problem 😐
Im very grateful to all my customers for being so sweet and patient 💓 but I feel very much guilty for not providing updates 💔
I am currently on my way to get an official ADHD diagnosis and trying some meds but it will take a lot of time before this stuff is figured out and each appointment is EXPENSIVE
And to add to that, I could really use some behavioral therapy which, of course, is also expensive and takes time
+they dont have proper ADHD care in my city so for some of the visits I have to take a train to get there
Add the fact that Im taking some classes and we're going to have exams beginning of June and I feel so behind, Im not even sure I'll be able to pass them to get the paper
Also: Im trans, dysphoria is kicking my ass and Im considering trying HRT in the near future. There will be a lot visits, tests and paperwork required and Im not very hopeful when it comes to my family support which means I might have to move out by that time
So all of this is just.... A LOT and Im barely holding on as it is 😬😬😬
TL;DR: i am struggling, trying to find help and that help is expensive and takes a lot of time
So if you could donate, even just a little bit, or share this journal it would mean a lot to me 💓
donations
https://ko-fi.com/itslubia
also if you'd be interested in any of my adopts, I still have some available
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....78/OPEN-adopts
as for additional artwork for adopts and/or YCHs, I'm open to consider but only if you're okay with waiting quite some time to have it finished
I think that's all
I know I gotta take it one step at a time, even if all together it all seems like so much (because it is)
But life doesn't just stop for you when you need more time and that's the biggest issue, right?
Cant hold 3 cups in 2 hands simply said, despite how much you even might want or feel that you need it. Maybe not comforting what i say, but its something you really need to accept.
Try to find your biggest problem, or the one that is probably the easy one to solve first. and with that the pressure on the other iseus lowers as wel.
But getting meds and treatment for adhd, anxiety, hormones all at the same time, while battling educational and personal/emotional challenges sounds like impossible to me as all these things bite eachother. Sometimes endure one and solve the other. Find ways that make it easyer (like meditation), and like you do with this message look for help. But the important thing is stay realistic. Surrealism leads to more disapointment and worsens everything.
I hope i am not to direct with the info above, but ive seen my share of problems with other people and i have my own challenges and always will. But i learned to cope with my limits secure them and enjoy the rest.
About the owed art, dont worry about my commision. The only thing i would like is some updates, i never wanted to rush you. I just really dont like the silence after i bought something.
I really do love the character i bought, and i want that portrait because i just love the look and want to see the different perspective. And if you ever create a raccoon/red panda version of it i would love to buy it as wel :). (this is a silent hint)
My intention was more so to say how many things overall I have to take care of and straighten up to regain control over my life. At the moment it's often barely a life to me and it's been like this for quite a few, if not many, years now. With some better and worse periods but overall I really feel a lack of control over it all 😬
Main focus is on the ADHD diagnosis and medication (im not planning on medication for anything else besides ADHD at the moment) but the best way to tackle it is medication + behavioral therapy
That's why I'm looking for both of these
School I can't really just stop and put aside. I have to at least try until the exams in early June, but Im worried that I won't pass and it's a problem as there is an expectation of me getting a job in that field.
The best I can do at the moment is trying to put myself into the headspace of: At least try, it doesnt have to be with full power but try and if it fails, maybe try again in a few months or a year
HRT is for the near future and by that I mean like 1-3 years (i dont wanna jinx it) but im thinking about this stuff on the daily as im living my life so less or more its always there, wheather I want it to be or no
I hope I was able to explain things better. You are very much right with what you're saying and thank you for your words :]
It's a difficult line to draw between remembering to try to do the "one thing at a time" while always having about 3 to 4 things to tackle, but I sure am trying ^^;
And just to make it clear. I am in no way angry or frustrated with my customers, especially when it comes to wanting updates on the art they paid for!
I really just wish my situation wasnt so convoluted so I could deliver the art in better time span. It would make both parties happier hehe
It's very nice what you're saying and thank you again 💓
I am seeing the hint and I am writing it down!!
I keep fighting with myself over feeling stupid for writing this journal but at the same time Im so tired of masking and seeming "fine" to people around when the truth is that Im having a hard time even just taking care of my basic needs 😵💫