I don’t enjoy the new media anymore. I never wanted to be "that guy" who says the older stuff was better because I always heard old people say it, but now I can’t help saying it. It's frustrating to see new media that is clearly inferior to what came before it, especially when it seems to be driven more by political agendas than artistic vision. Every remake and "new story" lacks the charm and wit of the originals that paved the road before them, and what used to be a place which pushed the envelope to make light of cultural taboos has been replaced with safe corporate pandering to the largest possible demographic to maximise profits.That right there is what Hollywood and the majority of the mainstream industry has devolved into and artistic vision is no longer viable there.

You want to know what the last movie that made me want to go to the cinema was? Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes the first trailer was a joke, had the most unfitting use for Gangsta’s Paradise we’ve ever seen and that original model for Sonic was something straight out of my worst fever dreams, but the studio managed to turn everything around and make it GOOD, and Jim Carey’s iconically charismatic performance carried that movie all the way through. The only negative points I can make about it is Sonic floss dancing twice for no reason other than to pander to children was cringe.

I more fondly remember Joker 2018, because it was a breath of fresh air to watch and see the story about a sympathetic villain for a change. You want to know why it got people talking? Because if you take away the Batman setting we've seen a billion times by now, it could have easily stood on its own merits as a cautionary tale of what happens when society breaks down and stops caring about its fellow man. It's no doubt the future we're all walking towards, and Joaquin Phoenix portrayed his character brilliantly. Even though this film is referenced in countless memes and shitposts (which alone should be enough to tell you how it struck a chord with audiences); it is a modern masterpiece of storytelling and world-building that will no doubt be used as a case study by other movie making hopefuls in the years to come.

Compare that to Suicide Squad. Everything was flashy and obnoxious, the story was laughable, the characters were written worse, their design was absolutely horrendous and the special effects were caked on like makeup to disguise it's lacking in substance. It's the big mac of movies; it looks delicious in marketing, but when you finally eat it, you realise you’ve wasted money to consume a barely-warm, synthetic slab of microplastics and snot. How can such a big company like McDonalds, with all their advantages and resources, churn out this disgusting slop when my local kebab shop makes a far better burger without their branding?

What about video games? I’m not ashamed to say I prefer video games over movies but whenever I bring them up with most other people they often assume I’m on about something like Fortnite, or whatever triple-A title just released. I’m not about to give you a five-act opera about how my tastes are better because I prefer playing older games and indie titles, but I can’t think of a single other big game other than Warframe that I’m actually enjoying. These days it’s a miracle if a big-balls, triple-A title releases, doesn’t get a big fat day-one patch, and it isn’t still entirely broken. Why would anyone expect people to spend well in excess of £50 on these things if they’re going to be that unplayable on launch?

And before you start thinking that I’m applying subjective bias to objective quality, I'm sick of pretending that an objective standard of quality doesn't exist. We talk about “the bar” all the damn time, and people usually refer to that as the bare minimum level of quality that media outlets should strive to meet. So as far as I’m concerned, this is a high jump contest - either they get over the bar or they don’t, simple as. Things are only like this because people who don't demand anything from their entertainment just mindlessly consume them.

I’m not going to say that ALL stuff was better back then, there was just as much crap being made back in the 80’s and 90’s. All I’m saying is it's gotten to the point where the only creativity coming out these days are coming out of the independent studios outside of Hollywood and Los Angeles.


By the way, this rant was brought to you by me eating a big mac yesterday. I’m off to the kebab shop.