Oh, I must warn you this is gonna be a very emotional journal.

I've been thinking, not a good think when you are talking about me, but I realize some things.

First of all, I like hugs, well you all will tell me "no kidding?" cause I hug you guys every time I can, but in real life It was different story. Since I was dating with my ex I didn't hug people as much, maybe cause I was always thinking about him and that he might think bad about me giving a hug to somebody else. So, many, many friends didn't get my hugs for sometime... and I am very sorry about it.

Also, i didn't go to support some friends because i was thinking that he may get sad, or worst mad at me. And I was afraid... and that's not good at all.

I mean, is not like he was always chasing me around to see what I was doing. He trusted me, at least, but when I told him "oh, hun, I am gonna go see (insert name of an old friend)" his answer was like "ah... ok... go". And then he was feeling sad or something so I stop to go with that friend. Or stop going out on my own, and stop all my rpg games... cause I was afraid of hurting him, so I give all my self into him.... big mistake... I kinda lost who i was. It was like I didn't meant anything unless he also wanted it.

It was his fault? No, It was mine, cause I let it happen. I never talked those things with him, and he always kinda felt insecure about me... I can't blame him I guess... I became my own censor, and I let it became my cage.

So, when he betrayed me I felt so lost... and even tho I let many of my friends down they came back to me and helped me to get up again. And then I learned a lot of things...

It's good to take care of the person you love, and be careful about how tender you are to other people. But there's a limit for everything... and the limit is when you can't express yourself cause you always thinking "oh, this will hurt him?", even when he is not even there. I let it happen...

And the other thing is "always talk" don't run away from problems... but i guess I will take down that on another journal... cause this is to long now...

Well, that's all for all

Big hugs to all!!!

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Silnat y Gus ustedes se dieron cuenta de que mis abrazos no eran los mismos, y el otro día cuando fui a su casa y los abracé a ambos creo que tambien notaron un nuevo cambio.

Recuerdenme no dejar de abrazar nunca a mis amigos...

Besitos a todos!!