Ever have ones of those days where you just want to strangle half of your "friends"? I have a select handful of people I call "friends". It takes someone special to get there, someone I can get along with and would do anything for. Such things like driving to their house 20 miles away at 5AM because they just broke up with their boyfriend so I could be there to comfort her.

I won't do that for many people. Whoever I do that for needs to really appreciate the small things like that, because that's all I really want when I end a relationship or something bad happens.

Today I've come to the realization that most people I call "friends" don't care much for me. I understand why, but over time I've worked the best I can on the things that annoyed them the most. I felt I did a pretty good job on that considering my manners made me look like I was raised by wolves.

One thing that annoys me is when I call someone up, the phone rings once, and I get their voicemail. When it happens all the time regardless of the time of day, to me that's like saying "I don't want to fucking deal with you." Another thing regarding phone conversations (this goes for text conversations too) is when a person hangs up on me while we're in the middle of a conversation. Now, dropped calls are a different story, because the person usually calls back in 3 seconds apologizing for it. After 10 seconds of no call, I call back and get the voicemail, it really pisses me off.

My friends are close to me. I like to keep my friends close like a "pack" or family. One person I consider my "big sister" that I never had because she's done so much to help me, and her home is like a second home to me. I treat her with as much respect as I can, and I only expect the same from her. It's only fiar.

Well, my other friends seem to come in a few types: sexual (usually wanting to get in my pants half the time), deceptive (generally only wanting me around to use me), and facade (putting on a front and talking nothing but shit behind my back). I really don't notice it until a while after the fact even after everyone else is telling me that they are, in fact, talking shit behind my back and really not even wanting me around.

I can probably count one person out of my original friends here in Savannah (this is within the people I've known for about 2 years now). The reason is because I've yet to really hear anything "hurtful" from him. Everyone else seems to talk the most shit, and he's really not online very often so there's about three people that I could honestly say are the people that have been telling people that I'm really "not wanted around" anymore.

That's fine. Friends like that seem to use "bubblegum logic." Have your fun times with it and once it loses it's flavor, stick it to the bottom of the table.

Makes me feel like a true friend. Looks like my trust is still handed out too easily. People who have my trust shouldn't abuse it...