For anyone here just for the pron dont worry there is more coming you can stop reading, for the rest of you who are hanging around I have a question

Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows I suffer from anxiety disorder, from past trauma and ptsd and well lately its been surfacing in an intense feeling of self loathing, look in the mirror and feel nothing but repulsion and disgust, thinking on just getting though a day fills me with dread which in turn makes me feel worthless and loath myself even more. I work, I put the mask on, pretend everything is okay while inside my brain is screaming "your fake, you lie, worthless, you deserve the hatred"

As a side note its also left me feel intensely lonely and isolated, I adore all my friends both online and in the real world but they are all so far apart and while im sure meeting me after reading all of that is not exactly an enticing offer if anyone does live on this little isle of England and wants to meet up i could use the in person connection

I know theres no magical solution but if anyone out there had any experience and any sort of solace and help they could give me it would be greatly appreciated, I'm getting to the point where i dont know how I can make it through the days anymore