Well, I think I may have finally done it. I said some really hurtful things, and Im sure when the person reads it he is going to drop me like a bad habit. I have decided that its easier to just be alone and worry about myself. I can't stop feeling certain things no matter how mad I get, and I honestly I don't want to, but this person can't handle his own emotions so I feel its better if I just withdraw.

My old boss offered me my old job back down in Florida, so Im considering taking the offer. It would mean I would have to leave all the people I have made friends with, but they can't save my heart. I don't want to be alone, but I am. I just need to get used to it.

This certain person admitted to having deep feelings for me, admitted that when he had done something awhile back, it was because of his feelings for me. He took away something I really enjoyed, and made me feel so much closer to this person. I'm not confused anymore. I know what I want, but I can't have it. My feelings don't scare me, they piss me off. His feelings scare him.

One minute he admits to his feelings, the next he denies ever saying anything. Not to mention one of my closest friends hurt me real bad by going to this person with something I went to my friend about for help. My friend turned around and went to the person I feel so deeply for.

The person I feel for does have feelings. I don't know what it is about me that scares him, but it hurts way too much to keep up face anymore. I want to be done. I want to be a dick and be an ass. But I love him, to at least some extent I am sure I love him. I don't fully understand it myself, cause to be honest I have never really felt honest love in my heart, but I know I am tired of being a fear in his.

*cries in his corner alone an washed out* *screams at the top of his lungs for relief or release*