everything fine
how are you?

Isn't that funny how society practicaly demand you to answer that question by "Fine, what about you?" and nothing more or you will be a weirdo otherwise?

facts

sometimes online communication gets so tiresome because tone is so difficult to read, and nothing that's in use is very helpful. and i just want to log off the entire internet and take time to myself without even thinking about thinking about checking my phone for any reason, and to shut off the echos of everything i read and see on there. and i try, i'm making such huge strides in doing this regularly, but then it creeps back into my life and i find myself fedup in this trap again. some places are less bad, like here, but everything else blends together in scrolling feed after scrolling feed of nothing to speak of. how i long for a time when living felt like living and even the liminal spaces have something to offer instead of a dead-eyed and expensive dystopia where all anybody ever does is yell at each other, unable to reflect or acknowledge the very same seed growing inside of them. its obvious how to make the thing work just fine, but the second the cutting edge is questioned.....dog forbid.

like damn i just want to see cool stuff and meet people to hang out with without everything having to be a colorless internet of things touch screen hellscape. its like one big placeholder than just reminds me of the sad, empty person i was before my gender transition. and having to look at that out there is like waking up and having to look at him looking back at me from the mirror. gets me wondering what was even the point...

It is what it is

My computer is broken.