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JUNE Life Update (nothing too important)
2 years ago
General
How do you do, fellow kids Thank you to everybody who is a watcher of mine that is reading this. If you do not watch me, you probably won't get most of the context for what's below.
This year is almost half way over. A lot has happened to me since this year started and unfortunately it did not start off very well, in fact I think that is the understatement of the century.
I won't go into heavy specifics but I reached the lowest point in my life in January where I couldn't take the stress of....well basically everything anymore, and thankfully I have parents that helped me get the help I needed. I am very lucky to have my parents, especially my mom, because if it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't be here writing this or still doing the art I make. It's been extremely hard finding motivation in a lot of various activities I usually loved, especially art and a lot of video games....which admittedly are my main two interests, idk if that is bad or not.
The help I got when my mental issues arose was overall good for me. It helped me reflect on a lot I had going on, I got diagnosed properly with conditions that my medical providers refused to give me until I reached a critical point in my life. Admittedly that's kinda how it is with my medical provider, therapists and psychiatrists would either just throw a drug at me and say "try it see you in four months", or they would conveniently call in and reschedule me for later like I can just deal with it no biggy or anything. The constant therapies I have attended from January to around the end of March has helped me but that does not mean they "cured my depression" or what have you, those are always going to be there and unfortunately that is what I have to live life with, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost by any means, as long as I am medicated and am able to get a consistent treatment schedule for mental health (seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist), I should be okay overall.
I have been lucky enough to have the friends and family I have, and of course my following that has been nothing but supportive to me. I know that I am just a grown-up nerd in his mid-twenties drawing big.....u-uh.....highly proportioned characters, but my life has changed tremendously because of the furry community. I won't try to say something like "the furry fandom saved my life owo" or anything, but I will say that there has been times where I have been down, and you know what's been there for me? You guys, my friends, my family (sorta, I have a hard time opening up to them usually even if they are open with me). Maybe it is weird of me to say but seeing Dorian and Cherry and...hell, folks like Lance, Era, Miss L, characters that are my friends' OCs/Sonas/Characters, it always makes me happy seeing what they do with others, even if it admittedly is more on the lewd-ish side of things, just seeing my friends happy makes me happy, and seeing them share that happiness with me is something that I genuinely am a very lucky person to have in my life. I really cannot thank you all enough for the support you've given me over the FIVE YEARS I have been in this community, almost Five and a Half now (Furaffinity was the first site I joined and posted "furry art" on, and that started in January 2018).
The furry art scene of all things is something I never expected to love as much as I do today. When I first started college, I wanted to be an 2D animator/illustrator of some kind in the major field of visual arts / entertainment industry, and I would do Furry art as a side thing. Throughout the years, I learned much more of the environment of studios and how they often operate, especially with studios run by Disney/Pixar, Blizzard, Illumination, Activision, etc., and.....my main goal changed as a 2D animator for a company like that completely dropped, and my furry art, the place that I know brings me happiness most, and I can draw the art that makes both me and others happy (most of the time, I know hyper stuff isn't for everybody), it is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't know how I'd be able to do it entirely just yet but I want to be able to get myself on a skill level that would allow me to live that dream. I am fortunate enough to have people who commission me and look to my art and ask me in FA notes or Twitter DMs or Discord DMs, I truly am grateful, and....unfortunately I do have to say "I am not open atm" with an apology since I don't want to overwork myself with a huge list, but I do my best to get to everybody, but this year especially....well I wrote a lot already, you probably know where this is going.
This whole journal is long enough as is, but to sum the rest of this up I suppose, I am very grateful that y'all have been here for me. Y'all have helped me get back on my feet little by little, and even though I am very far from perfect even right now, I appreciate you guys still keeping me by your side, even on the times I have often secluded myself out of anxious thoughts hitting me (which happen often). If you see me on Discord, I am usually offline or on Do-Not-Disturb mode. Truth be told, I am usually on Discord, or at least able to reply, but I get very anxious when messaging people at times, so it is not a diss on you or anyone if I do not reply immediately, I just get anxious since I am a bit of a socially awkward person. *ahem* ANYWAY! Thank you all again for supporting me through this very rough year. There's been quite a lot of mental battles I've faced this year, and you all are still here. That is something I am very lucky to have. Thank you for supporting me. I mean every word of this.
Erforf
~erforf
Despite we didn't interacted much, in the few times we did, I understood you were a good guy having fun with what you were doing. I'm glad you're feeling better and happy that you managed to write this journal and get your feelings off your chest. I wish you a better second half of the year, cheers.
John Sludge
~johnsludge1987
👐🥺💖
Noctis
~foxmilker
We don't really know each other at all, but I'm still glad to have you around. I've been in similar places, and know just how much it grinds through you, so I'm really glad to hear you're doing better. Your artwork has definitely been an inspiration for me, and I'll always look forward to whatever more you draw. Sending you virtual hugs! 💖
Axell-88
~axell-88
I'm so glad to know you're doing well. You always have been a great person with nice art and characters that inspire others :3 I have a bit of trouble talking with others too, I get a bit nervious when sending a message hoping they will not get mad at me haha Social anxiety let's go! :'D
