Hello guys!

Thought I would toss this in cause I don't wish to keep things in mind. There are several things in mind that I would try to address that can be up to you to make opinions about, or offer some fair criticism about. Just knowing that if I keep it all in, then it wouldn't help me at all.

First, I would be testing out the possibilities of Commissions. But I'll be keeping this in notes here. But I would think about trying a few test tries to work out if this can be possible. Being positive about this and such. But I might be open to try commissions to do some bit of motivation, or something else that helps.

Second, is the idea of a job. But here's what I would acknowledge, the idea of being out there for your economy, and work for your wage, and be able to continue would be something to feel like you improve on would be something to think on. Even requiring dedication to keep in track of like scheduling and such. But If I'm honest here...I am sensitive as shit, and It would be the first time I try something like this. For someone like me, that has to some to relinize that I'm autistic, an Introvert, and have the possibility of anxiety that felt like putting me into a Air compressor. Even given the idea that working on a job that makes you happy, would just lead you to not loving what made you happy. but I'm conflicted and feel like I could be over thinking it. Especially the repetitive nature of getting up, work, get back sleep and repeat. It may be me, but I'm not sure really, I may not have that answer

Third, is weather or not I'm just over thinking about my mental state. As before I stated about myself as a person. I have been working to think about my mental state, my stress and anxiety more so, maybe a few other things. Trying to clear my mind, gently getting myself in a calmer state, even making myself over worked. Trying to clear my head. Going with what helps me be happy. But I'm not sure about about anything else. I had to be dedicated to something that I need to do. But I'm someone that never has a clear identity made. Life, Family Divorce, loss, and bullying is a bitch. They say that they just happen and move on from it. But they leave marks, scars. I think I kinda blame on the lack of support, emotionally that helps me out in the long run. Not sure...But it sucks.

So yeah...I'm trying to take this small step after another. Only thinking about what helps me out bit by bit. Something that I can work to feel committed to. Just dealing with my mind not able to handle simple shit, tackling adult things responsibility or maturely, and such. I would just think about what would help me in the long run. Question is...what is it.

I would see about being more open to coms, anything that helps me keep myself distracted here, even if it's just something simple, with some money to think about contributing to. But again, I'm open to comments, opinions, some fair criticism and such. Let me know please.